


the office

by kozuchaan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Attempt at Humor, Bad Jokes, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Crushes, Cute Ending, Established Relationship, Established Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Interns & Internships, Jealousy, Kozume Kenma is a Little Shit, Llamas, Love Confessions, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pet Names, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sawamura Daichi is So Done, Secret Santa, Secretaries, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff, a wierd amount of llamas, commission, everyone is a sap, someone gets married lmfao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:14:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 36,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28178952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kozuchaan/pseuds/kozuchaan
Summary: Six teams. One account. A common enemy. A whole lot of newbies who can’t seem to keep themselves out of trouble. About a million love stories that need to pan out in an organized, four-month time period.Do the math, and it adds up to only one possible outcome - disaster.Or: every department needs to work together to make sure that Karasuno Industries doesn't get run into the ground. Suga spends too much company money. Kenma is in love. Semi has secrets.  Iwaizumi has the emotional intelligence of a plastic tupperware container. Hinata just wants to get along with everyone. Yachi needs to control her hormones. Sakusa needs to punch someone. Tendou is an instigator. Ushijima is an enabler. Akaashi just eats a lot. Daichi is dead inside.updates every sunday :)
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Aone Takanobu/Futakuchi Kenji, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Daishou Suguru/Terushima Yuuji, Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kita Shinsuke/Ojiro Aran, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, literally every single ship idek
Comments: 145
Kudos: 271





	1. episode one: pilot

**Author's Note:**

> thank you ezra for the commission hope you enjoy :)
> 
> thank you bibi, once again, for helping me edit. ily !!!

“So, did you hear, Sato-chan?” 

Oikawa’s lanky body makes its way around the grey desk dividers and flies into Tendou’s workspace, who quickly kicks back his legs to make room for the brunette to perch on the edge of the desk. It’s a daily occurrence at this point, gossiping with Oikawa before work starts. Tendou has no complaints - his greed to know what’s going on at all times gets fed and Oikawa has someone to return his energy.  _ Plus _ they get to annoy Semi  _ and _ slack off on work for at least thirty minutes every day. It’s a win-win on all levels.

“About the new hires? God, I can’t  _ wait _ , you know? They’re always so cute when they first start.”

Oikawa nods and swings his legs enthusiastically, unable to hide his excitement. Kiyoko-san had given him a stern talking-to a couple minutes ago about staying professional in front of the newcomers, or, at least it  _ sounded _ like she was being stern. 

“I hope we get a couple of good ones for our department, you know? I feel like the best ones always end up going to Daichi’s crew!”

Tendou laughs and leans forward so that his elbows are knocking against the desk, with the sides of his arm brushing against Oikawa’s thigh. “Hey, but we won with our baby Bubu last year, didn’t we?”

The sound of about a million fucking pens dropping to the floor rings out and seconds later, Shirabu’s panting his way into Tendou’s little office square. Oikawa watches with amusement as Shirabu  _ salutes _ at the two of them, and then straightens himself out like an unfolding stick insect. His bangs sway in an endearing way, like they’ve got a life of their own.

“T-thank you, s-senpais! It means a lot t-to me! I’ll continue to work hard!” Shirabu spits out passionately, with the passion of a soldier proving his loyalty to a nation. 

“Awe, look at our little baby-wabey Bubu bear!” Oikawa squeals a couple more lines of incomprehensible compliments and squeezes Shirabu’s cheek, making it a point to get him to blush by layering on the admiration. 

_ The kid has a thing for praise, huh _ ? 

Tendou swallows a laugh at his own observations and just when he’s about to join Oikawa in his teasing, he catches a glimpse of Semi passing by on the reflection of his computer monitor. 

_ Well, time to play, I guess _ . 

“Ah, good morning, Semi-kun!” Tendou wriggles his fingers in the air and waits for Semi to sigh reluctantly before joining them. “Are you working hard?”

“Clearly not as much as you two are,” Semi mutters. He crosses his arms and raises a brow at Oikawa, who’s still got claim over a particularly red area on Shirabu’s cheek. “Oikawa. You’re awfully chirpy today.”

Oikawa pats the sore spot he’s created on his junior’s face and shrugs dramatically. “I can’t seem to focus today, Semi-chan. The newcomers are coming today, and I wanna know what they’re like!”

“Well, they aren’t due for another hour so you might as well start on today’s tasks.”

“Get the stick out of your ass, Semi-kun,” Tendou says. He gives Semi’s butt a rough pat just to get his point across, and Semi retaliates with a painful slap to the back of Tendou’s head with the manilla folder in hand. 

It’s worth it.

“Just get started. The make-up isn’t gonna sell itself.”

Oikawa giggles as Shirabu runs after Semi, babbling a constant stream of apologies for slacking off. “He’s a good kid. Poor guy’s gonna get his heart broken.”

“You think Shirabu likes him?”

Oikawa rolls his eyes as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world (which it is, except Tendou just likes it when other people confirm his suspicions first). “Of course. You think we should help him?”

“After the mess with him and -”

“Oh!” Oikawa jumps up, interrupting Tendou’s sentence. “Oh, I think we got an early bird, Sato-chan!”

Oikawa gives him a look that says their talk isn’t over. Tendou stands up and peers over his divider, and he sees that at the entrance to the office, Kiyoko is in the middle of pointing out certain sections of the floor to a  _ really _ bright-faced kid with dyed hair and -  _ is that a piercing on his tongue _ ?

Tendou’s fingers immediately jump up to his own earring holes (without the jewelry) and he smiles. 

“Everyone, if I could have your attention?” Kiyoko calls out softly, but her voice carries throughout the whole floor. Everyone’s heads poke out of their dividers like meerkats on the hunt. “If you could all do your best to welcome Terushima Yuuji, one of three new employees as of today. They’ll be training under a mentor for about four weeks before they’ll be put on their own work, so please try to adjust to each other well if you’ve been chosen as a mentor. Terushima-san will be assigned to Oikawa-san. I’ll leave the rest of the introductions up to you guys, so be nice and let’s get our work done today without any issues, alright?”

The office collectively thanks Kiyoko and Tendou watches as Oikawa jumps out of a clump of people so that he can grab Terushima’s hand. 

“Hi hi, I’m Oikawa-san, it’s so nice to meet you! Is it okay if I call you Yuu-chan? Or maybe Yuu-kun has a better ring to it. Ah, ah, but we’re friends now, right? So Yuu-chan it is!”

Tendou briefly recalls how Shirabu reacted to meeting Oikawa for the first time last year - he had been a mess of limbs and words and his face had been permanently red for close to four full months - but it doesn’t look like Terushima’s going to have a hard time adjusting to him. 

“Oh, nicknames already? Wow, I like it! Is it okay if I call you Oikawa-senpai? Woah, I’ve never had a workplace  _ senpai _ before, this is so cool!”

“Well, that makes the two of us!” Oikawa squeals, grabbing Terushima’s other hand so they can start skipping around in a circle. Tendou has to laugh at that. “C’mon, I’ll introduce you to everyone else!”

“Sick!”

Tendou watches as Semi rubs his temple. 

_ God, what a drama queen _ . Tendou spins around on his chair and starts scheming. 

-

-

“W-what’s, uh, all this?”

Sugawara looks up from where he’s arranging the new employee files on Daichi’s desk and blinks. 

“Uh, these are just the files on the newbies?”

“Wha-” Daichi blanches. “That’s  _ today _ ?”

“Yes?” Sugawara laughs softly when Daichi grabs at his nonexistent head of long hair and groans. “Did you forget?”

“Yeah, and I even told Iwa that he wouldn’t have to worry about throwing together a presentation because I had it under control.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out, babe.”

“Don’t  _ babe _ your way out of this and  _ help me _ ,” Daichi whines, grabbing Sugawara by the waist and burying his head into the crook of Sugawara’s neck. “I don’t wanna get yelled at.”

“C’mon, Dai,” Sugawara pats Daichi’s head and presses a kiss into his boyfriend’s forehead before pulling away. “You’re the boss here. And I’m sure you don’t need a presentation, just introducing everyone and getting the mentors set up should be more than enough work.”

“I hate it when you make sense.”

“I know,” Sugawara smiles. “I have to head back down to the secretary’s office, but text me if you need anything okay?”

“I should just lock you up in here.”

“Aw, isn’t that cute?” Sugawara teases. 

“No, it’s pretty creepy, actually.”

Sugawara and Daichi both turn their heads to see who’s interrupting them, and Daichi immediately shrinks behind Sugawara’s thin frame at the presence of Iwaizumi leaning against the doorframe. 

“It’s  _ cute _ ,” Sugawara says one last time before heading out. “Good luck, Dai!”

“You better kiss my ass later,” Sugawara hears Iwaizumi say. And then something clatters against the desk. 

“Iwa!”

Daichi sounds close to tears. 

Sugawara peeks into the room one last time just to make sure everything’s okay, but deems it fine to leave when he sees Daichi weeping against the floor, flash drive in hand. 

“I knew you’d forget, asshat,” Iwaizumi grumbles. “You better be on top of your shit today.”

_ And he’s supposed to be in charge _ , Sugawara giggles to himself. 

-

-

“Sakusa-san, could I request you to my office for a short conversation?”

Sakusa fidgets with the wire of the telephone on his desk and narrows his eyes so hard that the bottom of his lashes brush up against his mask. “If you’re going to ask me to help you with employee introductions, I’m hanging up, Ushijima.”

Silence fills the receiver. 

“Alright. It isn’t anything to do with that.”

“You better not be lying.”

Silence again. 

Sakusa just sighs, hangs up, and heads over to Ushijima’s office. 

“What do you need,” Sakusa asks once he steps into the room. He doesn’t bother knocking - Ushijima’s known him for too long that any formalities are required between the two of them. “I told you a second ago, but I’m not speaking to them. And you better not assign any of those germ-infested turds to me, because I’m sure as hell locking myself away. I’ll run away. I’ll do it, I swear. Yuck.  _ Yuck _ .”

Ushijima taps his desk quietly for a couple of seconds before his eyebrow twitches - the only sign that he’s formulating a plan inside his head. 

“Alright, Sakusa-san. I won’t ask you to mentor anyone. But there’s been an emergency meeting called today for the team managers to attend, and I need someone to watch the office for the day. If you do that for me, I won’t have you talk more than necessary.”

“You swear?”

“Yes, Sakusa-san.”

“Can I sit in your office?”

“Yes, Sakusa-san.”

“Can I fire -”

“No, Sakusa-san.”

“ _ Fine _ .”

Sakusa can bookmark his plan to somehow remove Hanamaki and Mattsun from his side one day - but apparently, it’s not gonna be right now. 

-

-

“Did you hear?”

Daichi takes a seat next to Sugawara and sets his lunch tray down before following the rest of the table in turning to look at Oikawa. 

“What happened?” Iwaizumi asks gruffly, biting into a piece of katsudon with ravenous ferocity. Daichi almost wants to apologize to the piece of fried pork. 

“One of the employees coming today is the grandson of the CEO.”

“ _ No way _ ,” Bokuto whispers. His golden eyes turn into wide circular disks, shining with curiosity. “I saw the batch at my team today, but no one’s last name is Ukai.”

“Same here,” Oikawa says. “But they could’ve taken their mom’s name. Or changed it altogether to stay under the radar.”

“You think they’re a plant?” Kita looks like he’s thinking about it pensively. 

“Honestly, even if the rumor’s true, don’t stress about it too much,” Sugawara reassures everyone. “We all do our work properly, so.”

Sakusa snorts and wipes his mouth. “Tell that to the Wonder Duo,” he says with annoyance. “Someone needs to smack some sense into them.”

“We’re right here, you know,” Hanamaki sings and pokes at Sakusa’s side. “You know you love us.”

“I truly,  _ truly _ don’t.”

“You  _ do _ , though?” Mattsun smirks back.

_ “Anyways _ ,” Oikawa shifts the conversation back to his gossip. “Kiyoko-san, you think you can ask around during your big meeting today?”

“What meeting?” Bokuto chirps. 

“The team managers have a meeting with some corporate leaders today, but none of us know why,” Daichi explains. “So Kiyoko, Ushi, Suga, Asahi, Aone and I are kinda worried. You think it could do with the grandson?”

“It lines up,” Semi shrugs. “But it can’t be something bad. They’ll probably just make sure the kid stays protected, if the rumor’s true.”

“Yeah,” Daichi nods. “I really hope it’s not something bad.”

-

-

“H-hello! Uh, my name is Kageyama Tobio and I’m one of the new hires for Karasuno Industries. I’ve been excited about sports marketing since I graduated high school and I’m honored to be working with such a prestigious company! I’ll work hard and make sure to succeed!”

Hinata feels his stomach tumble as the guy next to him finishes his introductions - he had been excited for this the whole day, hell, his whole  _ life _ , but now that he’s actually  _ inside _ of Karasuno Industries (and not even a subsidiary, it’s the  _ main _ branch, the  _ Tokyo _ branch), the feeling is different. 

The desire to make a good impression, the desire to start a new project as soon as he can, the dream to win the Best Rookie Award by next year - it’s all  _ real _ . 

And now it’s his turn to introduce himself. 

“You can go ahead,” Hinata remembers the person who just spoke as  _ Iwaizumi _ and nods. 

“A-ah, thank you! I-I’m, I’m Hinata Shoyou and uh, I’m very excited to be here! I-I, I don’t know how well my college skills will transfer over in the real workforce, b-but I’ll always try my b-best! A-and, I really like making friends so I hope that I can get along with everyone, th-thank you!”

Hinata works on autopilot mode after that, letting the rest of the introductions go on. He gets assigned to shadow an energetic senpai by the name of Nishinoya, and the other guy, Kageyama, gets a badlie named Tanaka. 

“Alright, everyone. Let’s start working, so that Daichi won’t rip us a new one when he gets back, okay?” Iwaizumi-san claps and Hinata scrambles behind Kageyama to get to his desk. 

“Hey, isn’t this so nerve wracking?” It’s Hinata’s lame attempt at striking up a conversation between himself and Kageyama, but it doesn’t work. 

“Not really,” Kageyama says bluntly. “Just do your work correctly.”

“I -”

Hinata doesn’t even get the chance to respond because Kageyama reaches his desk first and ignores Hinata’s awkward stammering. 

Well. 

_ This guy sucks. _

-

-

“Well,” Ukai clears his throat and bounces his foot underneath the conference table. “Why do you all look like you’re gonna drop dead in two seconds?”

Ukai already knows - the team managers had probably been expecting the  _ old Ukai _ , but surprise surprise, that isn’t the case. 

Daichi, ever the martyr, clasps his hands together and speaks. “Oh, um, we’re all just a bit nervous since the details of this meeting weren’t given out beforehand. N-nothing, uh, nothing bad happened, right? Sir? Uh, Ukai-san?”

Ukai lets out a bark of laughter and it only grows louder when he sees Sugawara prickle upwards in surprise at the noise. It takes him a moment to calm down, but he drags a finger underneath his eyes to collect a couple of stray tears before he starts talking. 

“No, Dai-kun, nothing’s wrong. Well, not with the company, at least. There’s an issue with an account. We all know how Nekoma Incorporated has been a loyal company of ours, and their second contract renewal to remain exclusive with us is coming up. The problem is, they’re starting to gain traction as a growing company due to the massive amounts of subsidiaries that they’ve managed to obtain this year. So there’s unfortunately a problem with a fellow advertising company who wants to get their hands on Nekoma.”

Kiyoko gasps. “Oh dear. You don’t mean -”

“Yup,” Ukai says rather dejectedly. “The Satsukoi Company. Always a step behind us in numbers, but if they manage to get their grubby hands on Nekoma, we can kiss our first place spot within the industry goodbye.”

“How long do we have until our current contract with them ends?” Ushijima asks politely. “We should put together a plan in order to ensure that they resign with us. I could start looking in-”

“Relax, big guy,” Ukai shakes his head. “We have four months. Which isn’t a crazy amount of time, but it should give us leeway to get an edge on them. However, this does mean that all of your teams will be required to work together, as this isn’t just one small account that’s specific to a branch. They’re expanding their types of industries, which means they’re no longer dependent on media. Sports, medicine, all of it. So figure that out, too.”

“Can we start right away?” Asahi asks softly. “Just so we can make it by the deadline.”

“We’ll start at the annual Christmas party - since the last contract renewal was back when I started, it’s safe to say that you aren’t acquainted with a lot of people from Nekoma’s current advisors. Sugawara, I’m gonna need you to start putting something together with the secretaries. Take advantage of HR and pour everything you’ve got into it. Connections and relationships are just as important as the end product, people.”

Sugawara smiles. “What’s the budget?”

“There isn’t one.“

Sugawara smiles even deeper. 

A couple of people avert their eyes from Ukai, like they’re  _ embarrassed _ . 

“Alright,” Sugawara breathes out. “You won’t regret a  _ thing _ .”

Ukai doesn’t fail to catch Kuroo’s quiet, “Oh, I’m sure you will.”

-

-

“I can’t believe he gave you an endless budget for a stupid Christmas party,” Kenma looks over the top of his screen just long enough for Sugawara to jokingly stick his tongue out at him. “The end of this company isn’t gonna be Nekoma not resigning the contract, it’s gonna be you and your plans.”

“Ah, Kenma, how I love you and your sharp tongue,” Sugawara drapes himself dramatically across the office couch and taps his chin with a finger. “Now, now. Do I start with the color scheme or the food options? Oh jeez, I’m being stupid. Of  _ course _ it’s the color scheme.“

“Shouldn’t it just be - and, excuse me if I’m being brash due to my lack of experience throwing Christmas parties - red and green?”

Sugawara glares softly and Akaashi just laughs from where he’s showing Yachi (their secretarial newbie) how to sort their digital files. 

“Don’t antagonize him,” Akaashi says to Sugawara. “He’s just gonna shut down on you.”

“Yeah, I’m just gonna shut down on you,” Kenma mimics. “Can I go to the media branch now? It’s really - it’s just boring here.”

“Just for that, I’m putting you in charge of Secret Santa this year. And don’t forget Ukai-san’s words.  _ All the departments are together now _ .”

Kenma swears he cries. 

“No,” Kenma pleads. “ _ Please _ , not the Secret Santa draw, Suga, you  _ can’t _ , you  _ can’t,  _ I’ll seriously end myself. Or commit a murder. Or double murder. Do you want your death to be on your own hands? Because I’ll do it, I’ll - I’ll stab you or something.”

Sugawara gracefully stands back up and glides over next to Kenma. Kenma looks up with his best set of puppy eyes and best pout. 

“Get a bucket of names ready for a draw.”

Sugawara leaves after placing a gentle kiss on Kenma’s cheek and Yachi starts crying because, well, Kenma doesn’t really know but Akaashi just pats the two of them on their backs until they calm down. It takes a while.

Sugawara Koushi is a threat against humanity and one day, the world is going to burn underneath his feet. 

-

-

“There’s my favorite secretary,” Kuroo cooes. “I swear, I never get sick of you walking into my office with that stupid PSP in hand.”

“It’s not stupid,” Kenma bites back, without any actual venom behind his voice. “You’re stupid.”

“It’s stupid because you look at it more than me,” Kuroo hopes that sounded smooth. His heart is going to explode any minute, really. “C’mon. I finally get a moment of free time with you and you’re gonna play  _ games _ ?”

“Fine, you fucking nerd,” Kenma puts the PSP down on Kuroo’s desk and takes a seat on the edge of the wooden surface. “Distract me. I might have to drown myself today.”

“Are you o-” Kuroo blinks and realizes that Kenma’s undereyes are a bit red and swollen. “Kenma, did you cry?”

His hand reaches out faster than his brain works and Kuroo’s running a finger where Kenma’s skin is red. Kenma, much to his chagrin, turns away from the touch with a small cough. “Yeah. Suga put me in charge of interdepartmental Secret Santa this year. I just cried on reflex to make him upset. Didn’t work. I’m still in charge of it.”

“Sucks,” Kuroo says gently. He smiles when Kenma flushes, seemingly embarrassed at being stared at. “You should rig the system. Let me draw your name.”

“Shut up,” Kenma laughs. The sound is like a little rumble at the back of his throat, and Kuroo nearly starts throwing up rainbows with how  _ cute  _ it is. “I have to go back soon, Kuroo.”

“So?” 

“So, let go of my arm.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“Kuroo.”

“That’s me.”

“ _ Kuroo _ .”

“Fine. But I’m gonna have to skin Sugawara alive for taking you away from me.”

“Daichi would have a field day on your sad little carcass.”

“ _ Kenma _ .”

“I’ll come by before closing, okay? So let go.”

“You better promise.”

“I am.”

“Bye, Kenma.”

“Ew. Bye, loser.”

Kenma closes the door quietly behind him and Kuroo nearly sends his head through his desk.  _ Fuck _ , his heart can’t take it anymore. 

He’s asking Kenma out during the Christmas party, that’s final. 

_ Now,  _ he thinks.  _ Does he look better in black or red?  _

Kuroo laughs. 

That’s stupid. 

It’s both, obviously. 

-

-

“Alright, uh, hello, uh, um, my name is -”

Daishou watches as Kenma promptly gives up on being polite and he bites back a giggle when the blond slouches and lets out a sigh. Currently, the main teams are all shoved into the cafeteria, where apparently the secretarial department is getting ready to announce something. Why they made  _ Kenma  _ do it, Daishou wouldn’t be able to guess in a million years. 

“Okay,  _ fuck this _ ,” Kenma groans. Daishou doesn’t bother to hide his amusement and cackles along with Oikawa. “I’m Kenma. A secretary. I mean. I guess the secretaries technically work for corporate but I got put in charge of this  _ stupid fucking thing _ , so here we are. Christmas is coming, blah, blah, it’s just Secret Santa to bring you all closer. And this year, we’re working alongside other departments so it’s mixed instead of separate. Pass the bucket along, draw names, and buy them a gift by the Christmas party. We’ll exchange gifts at the hall. Don’t be fucking stupid and get them like, a five dollar bracelet. But don’t be fucking stupid and get them pearls. Have fun.”

Terushima, who’s Oikawa’s trainee, giggles uncontrollably as Kenma stomps off the stage, which is just one of the dining tables. Kuroo catches him and brings him back down to the ground, and Oikawa collapses with hard he’s laughing when Kenma all but  _ punches _ the bucket into Kuroo’s chest. 

“You heard what happened with Nekoma or whatever, right?”

Daishou turns to Oikawa. “Hell yeah. You think it’s gonna work out for us?”

Oikawa stumbles to gain footing and still howls as he speaks. “ _ Fuck _ yeah. This is Karasuno Industries. You know?”

“You’re awfully positive.”

“Well, it’s either that or the company gets run into the ground.”

Daishou pauses. “Yeah. I guess we can’t fail.”

The bucket makes its way to him and Daishou quickly takes out a slip of paper before passing it off to a short, orange-haired kid besides him. He must be new. 

_ Ennoshita _ . 

Daishou can work with that.

-

-

“Iwa-chan, who’d you get?”

Iwaizumi doesn’t respond to Oikawa’s badgering at first, focused on slipping his gloves on properly. It’s finally time to leave for the day, but to Oikawa, it feels like he’s been stuck in the building for close to a year. At least Terushima’s funny. 

“The whole point of Secret Santa is that it’s a  _ secret _ , dumbass.”

“But I’m curious!”

“Sucks to suck,” Iwaizumi shivers and opens the lobby door for a second, feeling the cold air of December bite at his face. “Aren’t you leaving? Why’re you just standing here?”

“Yeah,” Oikawa says cheerily. “It’s just that I walked to work this morning since it wasn’t that cold so I’m waiting for Kuroo to finish up so I can get a ride.”

Iwaizumi clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes. Oikawa briefly looks away, pretending like that wasn’t the hottest thing he’s seen in a while. “Leave Kuroo alone, he likes his alone time with Kenma anyways. I’ll drop you off.”

“R-really?”

“Unless you don’t want me to?” Iwaizumi raises a brow. 

“No! No, I’ll text Tetsu-kun to let him know. Thank you!”

“ _ Tch _ ,” Iwaizumi does the tongue-clicky thing again and shakes his head. “Duck your head.”

“N-no! Last time you did that, I swear I had a bruise the size of Miyagi on my head,” Oikawa whines. He doesn’t even know what he did wrong - did he really say something worthy of a head smack?

“Oi, just do it, bastard!”

“ _ Iwa _ !” Oikawa complains, but he still listens and bows his head. “I swear, if you hit my head I’m gonna run away and -”

“Shut  _ up _ , dumbass,” Iwaizumi grumbles. “You talk so much. There needs to be an off button on your something, I swear.”

Oikawa trembles when he realizes that Iwaizumi’s putting a scarf on him - but it’s not just any scarf. It’s the one Iwaizumi always wears, every morning without fail. 

“Th-thanks,” Oikawa says quietly. 

“Damn, all it took was a scarf to subdue you?” Iwaizumi laughs. “Your jacket is way too thin. It’s getting colder, and we don’t need another sick person in the office. Plus, Sakusa would probably kill you with a bottle of Lysol. And like, not even by spraying it on you, he’d probably just chuck it at your fat head and call it a day.”

“Right,” Oikawa’s glad that the scarf covers his cheek - his blush is less obvious that way. “He would, wouldn’t he?”

“C’mon, I turned the engine on a couple of minutes ago so it should be warm.”

“Lead the way, Iwa-Chan!”

Oikawa goes home that day with an extra scarf and a punch to the arm. 

  
  


Life is about balance, if not anything. 

-

-

  
  


“Are you tired yet, Wakatoshi-kun?”

Tendou waits for Ushijima to finish his arm stretches, ignoring how the fabric pulls taut against the muscles underneath his skin. 

“I’ll be ready to go once I submit this document, Satori. I apologize for making you wait today.”

“Don’t apologize,” Tendou clasps his hands behind his back and starts to fidget around with his fingers. “Was work hard today?”

“Quite, but Sakusa-san was able to get most of what I needed finished. It’s a shame he can’t take a higher position within the branch, isn’t it?”

“But Wakatoshi-kun, that means he’d be above you. Or take your place.”

“It would not be the worst thing in the world. To be honest, he’s far better suited for my job than I am. But as you know, his struggle with people has led to him passing up the opportunity. Although I can’t say I’m much better.”

Tendou pats Ushijima on the back as comfortingly as he can and sighs. “Don’t sell yourself too short, Wakatoshi-kun. You work harder than anyone.”

Ushijima clicks a couple of buttons on the screen and Tendou feels his shoulders sag with a heavy exhale. “Satori, would you mind doing the thing?”

Tendou smiles and moves behind Ushijima, before placing both his hands alongside his friend’s neck. 

Ushijima never asks. Never takes. From anyone. 

Except for Tendou’s little massages. 

Ushijima doesn’t even ask Semi. 

Which means Tendou wins, right?

“Does your neck hurt a lot, Waskatoshi-kun?”

Ushijima lets out a small noise of discomfort when Tendou’s fingers hit a particularly stiff ball of muscle underneath smooth, tan skin. Tendou presses harder, and quietly asks that Ushijima just bears with it until the knot is massaged out. 

“Satori. I always seem to bother you.”

“You don’t bother me.”

“Sometimes, I hate that I cannot tell when you lie.”

“I’m not lying.”

“You always look tired with me.”

“Wakatoshi-kun,” Tendou places a small, light kiss on the crown of Ushijima’s head and finishes up his massage. “You overthink things too much.”

Tendou’s about to let go of Ushijma’s neck and send him off with a grin when Ushijima takes hold of Tendou’s hands. 

Tendou can feel himself shake. 

“Satori. I do not understand why you won’t just accept my proposal. Please. Go out with me. Once. If you do not like it after that, I will admit defeat.”

“You know I can’t, Wakatoshi-kun. There’s rules for things like this.”

“Satori -”

“It’s late. You should leave before they lock up the building.”

“Satori.”

“I’m exhausted, aren’t you?”

“ _ Satori _ .”

“Goodnight, Wakatoshi-kun. Make sure you dress warmly for bed.”

“Sa-”

“Bye.”

Tendou feels his breath rattle around in his chest as he makes his way out of the building. 

There are rules for things like this.

Tendou, for all he’s worth, will not break them. 

-

-

  
  


**Secretarial Department**

**Head: Sugawara Koushi.**

**Important Facts: has been dating Daichi Sawamura for god knows how long. Is evil, probably. Likes to dote on the newbies. Would murder for Yachi. Friends with Oikawa, Asahi, Tendou, Shirabu, Kiyoko, and Futakuchi. Most likely to go to jail, only according to Kenma. But no one really argues with him on that one.**

**Secret Santa: he drew Kanoka Amanai. She’s been talking a lot about a gourmet mochi shop lately.**

  
  
  


**Secretary no. 1: Kozume Kenma.**

**Important Facts: contrary to popular belief, he isn’t dating Kuroo Tetsurou. Loves him, though, but is quiet about it. Is always late but never gets in trouble by HR because he gets his work done the fastest. Hasn’t made a mistake since he joined the company. Has bitten multiple coworkers before (it was their fault for bringing Kuroo up). Friends with Akaashi, Kunimi, Aone, Ushijima, and Sakusa. They eat lunch together in silence. No one complains.**

**Secret Santa: He drew Daishou Suguru. Nice. A pretty fountain pen should do, right?**

  
  
  
  


**Secretary no. 2: Akaashi Keiji.**

**Important Facts: enables Sugawara but it’s always unintentional. Runs a pretty famous instagram food page but no one knows about it, except for Kenma (only because Kenma’s pretty good at editing). Likes Bokuto Koutarou but is too shy to confess. Also he’s 99% sure that Bokuto’s straight, so. Is friends with Kenma, Kunimi, Aone, Ushijima, and Sakusa. There’s something incredibly therapeutic about eating together. Osamu’s growing on him lately since he’s a foodie, too.**

**Secret Santa: he drew Kiyoko Shimizu. He’ll get her a gift card, probably. Don’t worry, it’ll be at least a hundred dollars.**

  
  
  
  
  


**Secretary no. 3: Yachi Hitoka.**

**Important Facts: the newest hire. She’s cute and shy. Everyone dotes on her carefully because she seems to scare easily. Likes to look at Kiyoko but it’s not weird! Kiyoko is just unreasonably pretty! That’s it! For now, she eats with Hinata, Kageyama, Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi. They’re all new, so it’s not like they have other friends. Kageyama and Tsukishima kind of scare her, not that she’d ever admit it. Yamaguchi seems to be able to keep Tsukishima at bay, so it’s not horrible. Kageyama is just - yeah.**

**Secret Santa: she drew Sakusa Kiyoomi. Wish her luck.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops i wrote from tendou's pov twice lmfao. also we need more shy shirabu supremacy imo. AND more iwa being nice because fanon iwa is so mean and for what :/
> 
> hope you all enjoyed this mess! idk what else to write so ill leave here. 
> 
> instagram: @haikyuuicon


	2. episode two: christmas party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bc iwaoi.

“Hey, I said to move those wreaths over there! No, no, yes right there,  _ no _ , before! You were right  _ before _ , god, to the left please, thank you! And you, yeah, who else would I be talking to? You, go move those two pots to the entrance. What is this, a garden party? I don’t need the ferns by the food! And make sure those streamers get put up  _ evenly _ , or else I might just have to tear someone’s head off!”

Yachi can feel a whine start to build up in the back of her throat - it’s not  _ intentional _ , it’s just that, watching Sugawara-san scream unintelligible directions to everyone moving  _ thing _ in his general vicinity is starting to cause her to stress out because what if  _ she’s _ the next target for his yelling? 

“Yachi,” a soothing voice breaks Yachi out of her little crazed daydream and she snaps to attention, yelping as she salutes Akaashi-san in greeting. “Yachi, are you okay? You look kind of - red.”

Yachi lets out a nervous giggle and smoothes her dress out (a pretty navy blue outfit that Kiyoko had personally helped her pick out earlier), despserate to look good in front of her senior. 

“Y-yes! Y-yes, I’m fine, perfectly f-fine! Just, a lot to do is all! I-I mean, I’m not complaining or anything, i-it’s just that -”

Akaashi-san cuts her off with a quiet laugh and Yachi physically feels her heartbeat slow down. It’s a magical sound. “Yachi, don’t worry. We’ve all been there - Suga can get a little, uh,  _ cranky _ , when it comes to his parties but all you have to do is just stay out of his way for the most part and you’ll be fine.”

“A-ah, alright!” Yachi can’t help but shiver, although she can’t tell if it’s because the room is kind of cold or if it’s because she’s trying to calm herself down, failing miserably at it. “T-thank you, Akaashi-senpai! I’ll be sure to be careful around him!”

“Sounds good,” Akaashi gives Yachi a small pat on the shoulder before looking at his clipboard. “I have to go check on the food, but why don’t you get started on your tasks? I don’t think Suga gave you too much.”

“I will!”

Yachi bows and sees Akaashi disappear into the crowd of caterers swarming the table, and finally allows her knees to shake to no end. 

_ I have to check in with Sugawara-san first, _ Yachi tells herself.  _ I can’t mess up anything today, I just can’t! _

Yachi starts walking slowly to where Sugawara-san is, but the way he’s violently screaming into his phone’s speaker kind of makes her falter. 

A hand grabs her and Yachi squeaks. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Yachi turns around. “Kozume-san!”

Kozume-san sighs and shakes his head. “I said to please call me Kenma. I don’t like formalities.”

_ Oh, that’s right _ ! Yachi nods furiously. “I-I’m so sorry, I forgot again! I-I swear, I didn’t me-mean to!”

_ Kenma _ ignores the apology and grabs hold of Yachi’s clipboard. “No biggie. And just, if you have any questions, let me or Akaashi know. It’s really not safe to enter the warzone right now, Suga might accidentally bite your head off.”

“Ah, not my head!” Yachi squeals, grabbing at her hair in fear. “You think he would?”

Kenma breaks out into a low chuckle and hands the clipboard back. “He’d eat it quickly, so you probably wouldn’t feel any pain.”

“Kenma-san!”

-

-

“I’m too sober for this.”

Sakusa says it to no one in particular, but of  _ course _ it’s Atsumu who overhears him. God must hate him. Or at least have a bone to pick, because this just isn’t fair. 

“Wanna get drinks with me, Omi-Omi? They have Christmas martinis, you know. Very fruity.”

Sakusa purses his lips into a thin line and takes a step back when Atsumu gets a bit  _ too _ close in his space. “Yeah, I’m good. Go bother someone else, Atsumu.”

“Aw, but if I had to choose someone to annoy, it’d be you, Omi!”

“So you admit that you’re annoying?”

“Well, no, but I know you think everyone’s annoying, so.”

“Fuck you.”

“It’s my goal.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“And  _ you’re _ getting meaner these days. Why can’t you just be nice for once and say yes to me? All I want is for you to come to the self-serve area with me!”

Sakusa takes a moment to narrow his eyes at Atsumu. He’s way too  _ bright _ , but not in a good way. If that makes sense at all. He’s wearing a dark green suit which, for some reason that goes against the laws of human nature, looks good on him. The deep color makes his hair seem like it’s lighter than it really is, and sharpens the features on Atsumu’s smug face. 

Basically, Atsumu  _ technically _ looks good but Sakusa has too big of an ego to nurture to ever admit that he does. 

“Don’t wanna,” Sakusa settles on a boring response as to not rile Atsumu up even more. “I’m sure you can find someone else to go with you. Isn’t there a new guy here somewhere, with matching hair? Teru-something, if I recall.”

“Can’t you just get into the Christmas spirit, Omi-Omi?”

“I am,” Sakusa points very clearly to the handkerchief sticking out of his suit pocket. “Look. Trees.”

“You’re hilarious.”

“I try to please.”

“Is that still a no on the drinks?”

Atsumu, much to Sakusa’s disdain, really does look hopeful. It looks like he genuinely believes that Sakusa  _ might _ agree, and although he  _ does _ kind of feel bad about it, Sakusa has his boundaries and today doesn’t really seem like the night to break them. 

“Yeah. Still a no.”

“Damn. Maybe next time.”

Sakusa chews on the inside of his cheek. 

_ Just give up, Atsumu, Before I start believing you _ .

-

-

To Sugawara’s credit, the party is, in one word,  _ breathtaking _ . 

Kenma really has to appreciate his boss for a second - sure, the process had been a whole headache and a half to put together earlier, but the payoff is close to worth it. (Kenma had to exert a lot of upper body strength that he  _ didn’t  _ have, cut him some slack.)

The ceiling of the hotel ballroom they’re using is dripping in chandeliers, each one of them glittering and shining like a million diamonds. The light streams down gently on the crowd throughout the room, casting a delicate golden glow on everyone’s face. The food is amazing, and the decorations look like they’ve been made by Santa’s helpers themselves. 

Of course, Sugwara is in the middle of the floor with a thin champagne flute in hand, dressed impeccably in a maroon suit that makes his already-pale skin look like pure snow. He’s matching with Daichi, who’s wearing a black suit but with a tie in the same red shade as his boyfriend’s suit, and Kenma  _ swears _ he isn’t jealous - no, why would he be? Matching with a  _ boyfriend _ , on  _ Christmas _ ? That’s nerdy. Kenma - 

Kenma doesn’t need that.

He’s about to go wallow about his utter single-ness when Sugawara holds up his champagne flute and taps the glass, effectively getting everyone's attention. 

“Hello, everyone! I hope you’re all enjoying the party, because I know it was so fun to put together!”

Akaashi laughs. Sugawara just shoots him an over dramatic look. 

“ _ Anyways _ ,” Sugawara brushes off the small interruption and smiles again. “It’s about time we got to tonight’s main event. How about we kick off the evening by going around sharing our Secret Santa gifts? We’ll just go around in a circle, so just please prepare your gifts and we’ll start! We need to finish this before eight, too, because that’s when some employees from the Satsukoi company are heading over. Remember, this is also a night to build connections so when they arrive, please do your best to be friendly with them! Now. Enough of that, let’s start with the gifts!”

Kenma pats his chest just to make sure that the gift he’s gotten Daishou is still there, and lets out a loud sigh of relief when it is, not that it could’ve gotten lost or anything. Kuroo nudges his side from where he’s standing next to Kenma, and Kenma feigns annoyance. 

“What is it, Kuroo?”

“Aren’t you excited, Kenma? Who do you think got you?”

Kenma rolls his eyes. “Well, I know it’s not you. You would’ve told me already.”

“Not true!”

“You suck at secrets.”

“Again, that’s false.”

“It isn’t. Who  _ did _ you get, anyways?”

Kuroo looks up and grins. “You’ll find out in a second,” he says cryptically. And then he holds his hand up in the air like a child waiting to be called on. “Suga! Mind if I go next?”

Sugawara nods enthusiastically and claps Terushima out of the center where everyone's gathered. Kenma can only catch a snippet of the conversation but he’s pretty sure that Terushima got Tendou, and got him a bunch of gag gifts like a mini dancing reindeer figurine, plus a legitimately nice neck massager underneath it all. Tendou’s skipping around happily with the neck massager around his shoulder right now, yelling animatedly about how the  _ rolling wave _ feature feels good. 

“Of course! Alright, if we could just make some room for Kuroo, that would be great!”

Kenma’s not gonna lie - he kind of wished that either one of them got each other. But Kenma got Daishou, and it’s pretty obvious that Kuroo didn’t get him. 

Whoever Kuroo got, sure is a lucky bitch. 

“Alright,” Kuroo says. He holds a bag in his hands, with tufts of red tissue paper sticking out. “My gift tonight goes to the one, the only, Oikawa Tooru!”

Kuroo stretches Oikawa’s name out, and Oikawa laughs as he gets shoved into the middle of the circle. 

“Wow, my prince!” Oikawa holds his hands out. “Gift, please!”

Kuroo does a little spin and people cheer him on, clearly anticipating something good. Kenma swallows roughly. He’s still annoyed. 

“What do you mean, gift?” Kuroo pans his hands out towards his own general direction and grins. “Your gift is right here! One free date with  _ the _ Kuroo Tetsurou, is what you win!”

Oikawa giggles like a madman and Kenma feels his stomach start to twist. 

_ It’s a joke, right? _

_ It has to be _ . 

His heartbeat feels  _ way _ too loud - the person closest to him now is Ushijima, on his right. He could probably hear the thudding in Kenma’s chest if he really tried. 

“Aw, wow!” Oikawa swoons and falls forward, forcing Kuroo to reach out and grab him unless he wants the brunet to hit the floor like a sack of potatoes. “You read my mind, Kuroo! How could you ever be so generous as to go out with me?”

It’s obviously a joke - everyone’s whooping and hollering at them - but it still stings. Kenma feels a sour taste seep into his mouth, leaving his tongue tingling with unpleasantness. 

“Well,” Kuroo pushes Oikawa upright but keeps a firm grip on Oikawa’s waist. “As wonderful as I am as a standalone present, I also did get you something.”

Kuroo hands the bag off and Oikawa tears at the tissue paper like a feral lion, and gasps with clear joy when he reaches the gift. 

“Oh my god!” Oikawa squeals. “No way, how’d you get these? They’re limited edition, even I couldn’t buy it when they came out?”

Kenma stares at the floor. 

_ Ew.  _

_ Don’t be jealous, you fucking idiot.  _

_ What right do you have?  _

Kenma looks up at the wrong time. 

Oikawa slobbers on a messy kiss to Kuroo’s cheek, letting go with an over exaggerated,  _ mwah! _

Kenma’s breathing starts to become shallow, like he’s not getting enough oxygen with every breath he takes. His fingertips are trembling and his knees knock together like a newborn deer’s - it’s hard to stay upright. 

_ It’s a joke _ .

_ It’s a joke, it’s a joke, it’s a joke _ . 

Kuroo returns back to Kenma’s side after what feels like an eternity and Kenma ignores the shoulder tap. 

“Kenma?” Kuroo’s voice seems far away. “Kenma, you good?”

Kenma all but shoves Kuroo’s hand off of him. “Perfect.”

“Are you sure, because -”

Kenma doesn’t even let Kuroo finish - he just makes a beeline for the self-serve bar. 

_ Of course he was just messing with you.  _

_ Idiot.  _

_ You think you’d ever be his first choice? _

Kenma downs a shot of vodka faster than he meant to and is left coughing at the burn. 

_ As if.  _

-

-

The Secret Santa trade-off takes longer than expected, but everyone manages to go before eight. 

To Oikawa, the highlight of the night had been watching Sakusa grow so flustered over Yachi’s gift of at  _ least _ five-hundred dollars worth of organic cleaning supplies (what the fuck are those, even) that he had actually  _ blushed _ \- yes, folks.  _ Blushed _ . Atsumu had been left seething but the rest of the crowd had cooed at Yachi’s unexpected thoughtfulness and ability to get Sakusa to show some other emotion besides  _ disdain _ . 

Now, the members of the corporate Satsukoi company have entered, and Oikawa’s making himself busy at the food table in search of Iwaizumi, who’s weirdly nowhere to be seen. 

“Hello there.”

The sudden voice nearly causes Oikawa to drop his plate onto the ground, but he manages to straighten himself out at the last second. 

“H-hello,” Oikawa says politely as he turns around. It’s someone he doesn’t recognize. “How are you today?”

“Just fine,” the man says back. Oikawa does an initial up-and-down glance and deems the guy normal. He’s in a regular black suit similar to the one Daichi has, except it makes him look kind of like a grim reaper because he’s taller and paler. His tie has little christmas trees on it, and Oikawa’s happy with the fact that the guy is somewhat of a looker. He’s got an angular face, with sharp eyes that seem to drill holes into Oikawa. 

He’s nothing compared to  _ Iwaizumi _ , of course, but he’s not half-bad. 

“You must be from the Satsukoi Company,” Oikawa says. “I’m Oikawa. Nice to meet you!”

“Junpei,” the man says. “You have a pretty name. And a face that matches.”

Oikawa bites the inside of his cheek, unable to hide the blush that overtakes his face. “Uh, th-thank you. Um, you too. Your name, I mean. It’s nice! Oh, jeez, I’m not saying that you’re ugly, which you aren’t, like, you  _ really _ aren’t, well, I’m not trying to be creepy, either. I’m not saying you’re hot, okay? Well, no, but you aren’t ugly. You’re just -” the guy raises a brow and gives Oikawa a teasing smile. “Good to look at.”

That was a really stupid way to end his sentence. Oikawa has half a mind to bash his head into the closest wall, but Junpei holds out a hand and stares at Oikawa expectantly. 

“Why don’t we calm you down and head over to the bar? I can make a  _ mean _ gin and tonic.”

Oikawa sniffles, still embarrassed over his word vomit. “I can, too, you know.”

“I’m not surprised. But still. Let me make you one.”

“Okay. But only because there’s no way I’m going to live that down sober.”

“Take my hand,  _ Oikawa _ .”

Oikawa does. 

_ Oof,  _ Oikawa thinks.  _ This doesn’t feel right _ . 

This doesn’t feel like Iwaizumi. 

-

-

“Hey, did you see Kenma anywhere? I can’t find him.”

Kuroo stops Akaashi, who’s on his way to get what probably is the seventeenth plate of the night. Not that he cares, it’s just that  _ wow _ , can Akaashi eat for someone built like a baby bird. (Don’t get Kuroo wrong, though. He went to the pool with Akaashi, Kenma, and Bokuto once during the summer and was shell-shocked for hours with how absolutely  _ toned _ Akaashi was. The man looks like he’d fold under a slightly strong breeze but beat everyone in a freestyle race to the point it was kind of embarrassing to get out of the pool.)

“No, I haven’t,” Akaashi muses. “Actually, it’s been a while. He ran out after the Secret Santa thing and I thought he was just going to the bathroom, but it looks like he went home.”

“Damn,” Kuroo sighs. His plan to confess romantically underneath the fountain outside the hotel is suddenly shot, which is depressing. 

“Why?”

“Nothing,” Kuroo says. “Just had to tell him something, but I guess you’re right. No one else has seen him and I’ve already checked the bathrooms so he might’ve actually left.”

“Was it something important? I’m sure you can call him.”

“No,” Kuroo shakes his head. “I don’t think it’s something I can just do over the phone. Thanks, though, ‘Kaashi.”

“No problem,” Akaashi says, a bit worried. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Couldn’t be better.”

“If you say so,” Akaashi sounds skeptical but drops it. “I need to check up on Bokuto but text me if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay. Bye, ‘Kaashi!”

“Bye, Kuroo.”

-

-

Iwaizumi’s not really  _ doing _ anything right now, to be honest. 

Dipping in and out of casual conversations, dancing lightly with whoever drags him into the crowd (it’s more of an energetic sway than actual dancing, let’s be real), and grabbing a drink at the bar every once in a while - it’s all fun, but he doesn’t have the balls to do what he really wants to do. 

Asking Oikawa to dance with him. 

It’s a simple goal, one that’ll probably be successful, but Iwaizumi’s nerves are shot and no matter how much liquid courage he downs, it’s not getting any better. 

That is, until Iwaizumi finally manages to track down Oikawa only to find him standing off to the side of the bar flirting with some random guy. 

_ Damn bastard _ , Iwaizumi grumbles to himself when the stranger unnecessarily brushes his hand up against Oikawa’s arm. He honest-to-god really is about to just turn around and maybe head home or something because he really doesn’t need to watch Oikawa get it on with some  _ bitch _ when he hears Hinata’s bright voice call out, “Hey, Oikawa-san! You’re standing under mistletoe right now!”

_ Obviously _ , Iwaizumi can’t just do  _ nothing _ , so he quickly makes his way back to where Oikawa is and watches as a small group gathers around Oikawa and his mystery man, chanting for a kiss. 

“You have to follow the Christmas rules, you know!” Suna hollers. 

“Yeah, the rules, the rules!” Bokuto chants. 

“I guess a small cheek kiss wouldn’t kill anyone,” Oikawa mumbles with red cheeks. “Um, sorry if they’re being too rowdy, though, Junpei-san. They’re kind of insatiable for drama when they get drunk.”

Iwaizumi sees red when this  _ Junpei _ guy just shrugs and pulls Oikawa close to his side. “No biggie. So. How about that cheek kiss?”

Iwaizumi, in his defense, had no one physically holding him back. 

So he can’t really be blamed for whatever it is that he does next. 

“I think the fuck  _ not _ !” Iwaizumi yells. He shoves Bokuto and Suna out of the way, before grabbing a shocked Oikawa’s arm and yanking him forward. “Cheek kiss, my ass!”

“Iwaizumi!” Oikawa exclaims. His eyes widen almost comically, and Iwaizumi gulps. The whiskey he’s been chugging all night must finally be kicking in, because he isn’t nervous. “Let go, what’re you doing? He wasn’t hurting anyone!”

“Yeah,” Junpei sneers. “Why don’t you just let him go?”

“No!”

“Iwaizumi, what’s  _ wrong _ with you?” Oikawa hisses. “It’s just him giving me a peck on the cheek, why’re you freaking out?”

“Because!” Iwaizumi can tell that there’s a lot more eyes on him now than before - the screaming must be gathering attention. “ _ Because _ , why can’t I be the one to do that?”

“ _ Huh _ ?” 

Oikawa’s screech is almost inhumane. 

“Oikawa, just - listen to me, okay? I-I, I’m saying that I want to be the one kissing you. Anywhere. Everywhere. Your cheek. Your forehead. Lips. Hands. Don’t let anyone else do it. I don’t - I don’t want that.”

Oikawa doesn’t take Iwaizumi’s confession well.

“What the  _ hell _ are you talking about, Iwaizumi?”

Tears well in Oikawa’s eyes and Iwaizumi blinks. 

“I’m -” Iwaizumi pauses. “Oikawa, I’m confessing. Please. I -”

“A-are you,” Oikawa all but rips his hand out of Iwaizumi’s grasp and steps back. “Are you joking right now?”

“Like hell I am! God knows how long I’ve been waiting to say this, why the fuck would I be  _ joking _ ?”

“Y-you,” Oikawa’s tears start to fall. “ _ Like me _ ? W-why? Don’t you think I’m annoying?”

“Why would I think that? Oikawa, I should be the one scared that you don’t want  _ me _ !”

“How would that even be possible? I’ve probably been in love with you since I first  _ saw _ you! Hell, I-”

“Oh, just shut up and let me kiss you, idiot!”

Iwaizumi pulls Oikawa in and a second later, there they are, kissing in front of about a million people. A great way to mark their first time, Iwaizumi thinks. Really cements the confession into place. 

“You can’t be joking about this, you know. I’m not leaving you, not even if you beg me.”

Iwaizumi laughs at Oikawa. “So is that a yes? Oikawa, be my boyfriend?”

Oikawa whines and throws his head into the crook of Iwaizumi’s neck and Iwaizumi can’t help but shiver when an exhale hits his skin. 

“Yes,  _ Iwa-chan _ . It’s a yes.”

Iwaizumi  _ would _ revel in the moment more, if it weren’t for the sudden realization of how  _ public _ this all is. 

Yeah. 

Suna’s never going to let him live this one down. 

-

-

**Corporate**

**Head: Ukai Keishin**

**Important Facts: doesn’t really work with the employees directly, but appears once in a while to deliver important news. Was once married, is now divorced. Everyone’s pretty sure that he has a thing going on with his personal secretary/assistant, Takeda. Mattsun takes the occasional smoke break with him up on the roof.**

  
  
  


**Personal Assistant: Takeda Ittetsu**

**Important Facts: he’s the personal assistant to Ukai. Kind of quiet but has his moments where he gets even scarier than Sugawara when he’s mad. He has so little presence amongst other workers that he pretty much knows everything that’s going on in the company because people will just talk in front of him. Refuses to speak about the truth of his relationship with Ukai. Further observation is needed.**

**Branch Leader: Sawamura Daichi**

**Important Facts: recently got moved to the Tokyo branch a couple months ago. Has been dating Sugawara for eight years. Will probably propose soon but something is holding him back (?). People mistake him as the manager of the Sports Advertising branch but it’s actually Iwaizumi. He just hangs out there a lot because he doesn’t have a particular interest for the other branches, plus Sugawara is mostly in charge of that area, too.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u enjoyed this chapter too! ik christmas was yesterday but oh well. thank you so much for your lovely comments :) also yes yachi is the only one who could bring anyone to their knees fight me on that owiejfoeijf
> 
> reach out to me on instagram: @haikyuuicon for commissions <3


	3. episode three: marriage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yup yup

“You know, I thought you finally going out with Iwaizumi would result in a lot more public and aggressive makeout sessions popping up around the office than before. I stand weirdly corrected.”

Oikawa shoots Semi a look. 

“Don’t hit me where it  _ hurts _ , Semi-Semi. I’m  _ trying, _ it’s  _ Iwa-chan _ who refuses to even touch me anymore. Whore.”

“Me or him?”

Semi watches in amusement as Oikawa’s face crumples up into an upset frown and he waves delicately as Oikawa stomps back to his seat. 

_ Finally, I can get some work d- _

__ “A-ah! S-Semi-san, I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

It takes Semi a moment to realize that he’s been knocked onto his feet, with Shirabu sprawled rather awkwardly on top of him. There’s a sharp object that pokes into his abdomen, and he looks down to see that it’s the edge of a binder. 

Shirabu’s redder than Semi thinks is humanly possible, with his choppy bangs frizzing in the air like he just stuck a fork into an outlet. “I’m fine, Shirabu, just stop fidgeting for a second.”

Shirabu, who had been flailing about to try and gather his stuff, lets out an embarrassed whine that Semi can’t help but to think is cute, and calms himself down. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going, a-and -”

“I’m not mad, Shirabu. Jeez. You look so scared of me, do you think I’m gonna scream at you or something?” Semi chuckles and grabs at a couple of sheets that are strewn on the floor around them, and he gets up before handing them back to his junior. 

“S-sorry,” Shirabu stutters out again. “Still.”

“No biggie,” Semi pats Shirabu on the head and starts to make his way back to his own cubicle. “If that’s the Kazuki store proposal, let me read it before you hand it in. I’ll help you finish the outline.”

“Th-thank you! Thank you, Semi-san!”

Shirabu’s energetic voice dies off in the background and a passing Kiyoko gives Semi the slightest raised brow. 

_ Cute kid, _ her face reads. 

Semi just rolls his eyes. 

-

-

“ _ Omi-Omi! _ ”

Sakusa lets out a sigh and drops his head into his hands, already dreading the conversation that’s about to come. 

Ushijima clears his throat from the entrance and stops Atsumu from going in for the kill. “Atsumu-san, how are you today?”

“Hmm? Oh, uh, good, what about you, Ushijima?”

“Fine as well. Can I help you?”

Reon laughs from his seat, a booming sound that seems to echo throughout the room. “Ushijima-kun. C’mon. The only reason he ever comes is for Sakusa. Let the poor kid through.”

Atsumu huffs. “I’m twenty-five, you know. I’m not a kid.”

“Still four years younger than him.”

“I don’t know who you’re referring to,” Atsumu sniffles and turns his nose up. “Anyways. Ushijima-san, can I come in?“

“Oh, yes, I’m sorry.”

Sakusa grits his teeth and shoots his boss a death glare. 

Futakuchi, who’s cubicle is right next to Sakusa’s, peers over the edge and smirks. “Have fun. I’ll be here. Listening to everything.”

“Burn in hell.”

“Omi-Omi!”

Futakuchi slithers back into his seat, and Sakusa is left exposed to Atsumu. 

“Don’t you ever have any work to do? How do you not get in trouble for this every day?”

“I just sneak out whenever Kuroo talks with Kenma. Although he didn’t come by today, so I just asked and Kuroo said yes.”

“Both of you need to be fired.”

Atsumu takes a step closer, and Sakusa rolls his seat back a bit.  _ Personal space much? _

“Um, Osamu recommended a really good katsu and ramen place to me the other day, would you like to go with me for lunch?”

Sakusa hates this part. 

Sure, Atsumu gets on his nerves, but to have to reject the guy every single day takes its toll on Sakusa, too. It’s not like he gets a kick out of hurting someone’s feelings, especially that of a junior who’s so much younger than he is, but still. It’s for the better. 

“Can’t,” Sakusa closes his eyes to avoid the drop in Atsumu’s smile.  _ How do you manage to look so hopeful, every time? When you know what the answer’s going to be? _ “I’m busy, Atsumu.”

“Please? Just once?”

Sakusa swivels his seat around so he’s facing his desk rather than Atsumu. 

“No, Atsumu. C’mon. Go back to work. Don’t make me the bad guy.”

“I’m not,” Atsumu says softly. “It’s just that, you know, today marks the one-year anniversary of me asking you? If you say yes to today, I swear I won’t ask you to lunch ever again. Please?“

_ Has it already been a year?  _

“Atsumu.”

“Is that a yes?”

“ _ Atsumu _ . Please. Go back to work. You must be busy.”

“Okay,” Atsumu clears his throat. “Um, here, though. It’s - I overhead you the other day saying you needed a new one, so. Um. Okay. That’s it. Sorry for bothering you, Sakusa-san!”

Sakusa’s ears prickle at hearing his name come out of Atsumu’s mouth. 

There’s a small thump on his desk, and when Sakusa looks over his arm, Atsumu’s gone but there’s a small wrapped box besides him. 

Futakuchi appears next to Sakusa again. “Poor kid. He must really like you.”

“I didn’t ask for that.”

“What’s in the box?”

“Does it look like I opened it yet?”

“Well, hurry up!”

Sakusa scoffs but he takes the box and opens it. 

“What is that? An empty perfume bottle?”

Sakusa feels his throat get all wonky. Hopefully his voice doesn’t crack. “It’s a sanitizer mister.”

“The fuck is that?”

Sakusa wants to shove Futakuchi back into his cubicle. “You put your sanitizer in it and it makes it a mist when you spray it out. Finer particles. I told Reon yesterday that mine broke, when did he even go out and get it?”

“Still won’t give him a chance?”

Sakusa feels an itch start to form on the back of his neck. 

“Can’t. Won’t.“

Futakuchi just gives him a sympathetic look. 

  
  


-

-

“So. How’s it going with loverboy?”

Kyoutani grins as Yahaba flushes, sputtering over his cup of coffee. 

“Shut up, someone could hear!”

“We’re alone in the middle of an abandoned staircase at work. I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

“Bitch,” Yahaba mutters. “And that’s embarrassing. You get one answer and it’s nothing.”

Kyoutani has a hard time dealing with people.

Yahaba used to be one of them. 

_ Used to be _ . Now, he’s helplessly in love with his best friend, who can’t ever seem to shut up about his crush on a new kid this year, some four-eyes in the sports department. 

“I saw him in the cafeteria earlier, though. He said hi to me.”

“Great, so when’s the wedding?”

Yahaba lands a punch to Kyoutani’s shoulder, but it barely feels like a scratch. 

“Shut up,” Yahaba sulks. “It’s pointless, anyways. Everyone knows there’s something going on with him and Yamaguchi.”

“So just ask him out first. Or confirm it. You still have a chance.“

“You’re full of bad ideas,” Yahaba says in annoyance. “Can’t you, I don’t know, give me some actual advice?”

Kyoutani snorts. “The fuck would I know about love?”

“I guess. But have you really never liked anyone? Like, not even a  _ tiny  _ bit?”

“N-no!”

_ Fuck. _

Kyoutani fucking Kentaro doesn’t stutter. 

“You -” Yahaba’s eyes widen almost comically, and tufts of his light brown hair shake as Yahaba holds back a laugh. “You just  _ hesitated _ , Kyou! You like someone, you like someone! Spill, who is it?”

Kyoutani growls and downs the rest of his coffee. Sure, it’s scalding, and yeah, he’s going to be left with level three burns, but it’s worth it to distract himself for a second. “Shut up! Asshole, I don’t like anyone!”

Yahaba falls into a fit of laughter that lasts for an eternity, and Kyoutani is left staring over the railing in nothing but utter frustration. 

_ Idiot. Idiot, idiot, idiot. _

He doesn’t know if it’s directed towards himself or Yahaba. 

Yahaba finally calms down, and it seems like he’s overtaken by a benevolent spirit. 

“I’ll help you, Kyou,” Yahaba says. “I mean, I always dump my shit about Tsukishima onto you all the time so I’ll repay you by letting you rant. Aren’t I such a good friend?”

Yahaba sticks his tongue out and winks, and Kyoutani looks away. 

That was cute. 

“Loser,” Kyoutani lets out. He can’t think of anything else to say. “It’s not your business.”

“Who is it! At least tell me.”

“Nah.”

“Are they in your department.”

“No.”

“A girl?”

“Wanna die?”

“Shorter or taller than you?”

“Taller.”

“What’s he like?”

_ Kind. Stupid. Sweet. Pretty. Witty. Smart. Passionate.  _

Kyoutani sighs. “He’s kind of stupid. Blind. Dunno why I like him.”

Yahaba doesn’t speak for a moment. 

“You must really like him,” Yahaba whispers after a couple minutes of silence. 

“Huh?”

“Your face. It got. Gentle. Or something, when you said that.”

“Well, don’t go around looking for him,” Kyoutani feels his voice start to edge onto a grumble. “He’s got his heart set on a lovely guy. So.”

“You still have a shot,” Yahaba bumps Kyountani’s shoulder with his own. “Isn’t that what you told me?”

Kyoutani looks at his empty coffee cup and smiles. 

“Yeah. I guess.”

-

-

  
  


“Oi, idiot, that’s not how you do it!”

“Yes, it is! Just look at the drawing, Kageyama, are you blind?”

“It’s wrong, let go! You’re gonna break it!”

Hinata’s about to yell again when someone clears their throat and pauses him in his tracks. Kageyama’s painfully tight grip on Hinata’s wrist loosens for a second. 

“Not to sound intrusive or anything,” Sugawara says with a smile. “But I don’t think making a cup of coffee warrants this much fighting?”

Hinata immediately snatches his hands away from Kageyama and throws himself down into a ninety degree bow. “A-ah, sorry, Suga-san, we didn’t mean to!”

Kageyama scoffs. “ _ You  _ did, I didn’t.”

“Hey, what’s that s-”

“Alright!” Sugawara chirps. “Step away from the Keurig, and tell me what you want. I’ll make it.”

Hinata flushes. “U-um, well, actually -”

Sugawara pops open the top and smiles. “What’s a block of chocolate doing in here? You know this is where the pods go.”

“Kageyama and I,” Hinata gulps. “Wanted hot chocolate? We don’t like coffee, so.”

Sugawara’s laugh is magical. “Oh, well, in that case, just sit down and I’ll make you a cup. You know we have hot chocolate powder, right? Where’d you even find the chocolate, I wonder? Hmm, here we go. That’s right.”

Sugawara continues to talk to himself and Kageyama quietly drags Hinata over to the table. 

“You made us look so stupid,” Kageyama whispers. 

“No, that was you!”

“Nuh-uh!”

“ _ Uh-huh! _ ”

“No fighting, please,” Sugawara walks over and sets two cups down. “C’mon. You guys don’t seem to have problems with anyone else, why do you two keep arguing?”

Hinata licks his lips at the sight of a piping hot cut of hot chocolate. “I don’t know, ask him!”

“Well, ask yourself!”

“What does that even mean?”

Sugawara giggles and sighs. “You two. So energetic.”

A hand pats the top of Hinata’s head and he watches as the same happens to Kageyama, who seems to be leaning into the touch. 

“Didn’t mean to,” Kageyama protests, but continues to preen under Sugawara’s touch. 

“Me neither,” Hinata crosses his arms.

“Why don’t you two talk it out? I need to head back to my office but I trust that no more screaming matches will happen today?”

“Yes, Suga-san,” Hinata melts under Sugawara’s head pat one more time. 

“I’ll be off, then.”

Sugawara disappears with a gentle smile and Hinata’s stomach is left twisting and turning. 

“So,” Hinata says. “Should we talk?”

Kageyama’s face indicates that no, they shouldn’t. 

-

-

“Still working, Bubu?”

Shirabu looks up from his laptop and right into the face of Oikawa, who, like always, is perfectly beautiful. He swears the man is a mannequin come to life. 

“U-uh, yes, I just need to make the edits that Semi-san told me to make, and then I’ll hand them into Tendou-san tomorrow.”

Oikawa hums. “Semi and Tendou, huh? What a duo.”

Shirabu pauses. “Uh, yes, they’re very efficient in their work together.”

Oikawa smiles but for some reason, it doesn’t feel kind. Which is strange. 

“Isn’t it funny, how well they perform when they’re with each other? Even though they argue the most out of anyone in the office. Or, it’s more like Tendou instigates fights and Semi has too much pride to back down.”

Shirabu feels the inside of his mouth dry up.

_ Did Oikawa-san pick up on my crush already? Does he know I like Semi-san? I mean, there’s no way he doesn’t know, right? He knows everything about everyone, why should I be different? God, he knows, he knows! What do I do, what do I say? _

“I-I, I think both of them are very capable,” Shirabu tilts his head. He’s unable to think of anything else to respond with. “I’ve learned so much from them.”

“Hard to believe they were married, huh?”

Shirabu smiles. 

“M-married?”

“Oh dear,” Oikawa checks his phone and pats his hair down. “Iwa-chan is ready to leave, I need to go. By, Bubu!”

Oikawa all but vanishes. 

Shirabu’s hands start to tremble. 

_ Married? _

  
  
  


-

-

**The Managers**

**Makeup Advertisement: Shimizu Kiyoko**

**Important Facts: very capable in leading a team. Quiet. Hates trouble-makers but somehow got stuck with the most unruly people in the whole department. Dotes on Yachi. Thinks her blushing is cute. Will she make a move soon? Probably. Confident when it comes to her abilities. Daichi follows up with her the least because she produces little to no mistakes.**

**Pharmaceutical Advertisement: Ushijima Wakatoshi**

**Important Facts: quiet, but gets his work done. Relies on Sakusa a lot even though the man seems to act gruff most of the time. Has been friends with Tendou from early childhood and is in love with him, but seems like his advances get rejected every time. Feels for Atsumu because of this reason. No one ever knows what he’s thinking of.**

**Media Advertisement: Kuroo Tetsurou**

**Important Facts: loves Kenma, but his confession plan failed so he’s currently in the middle of thinking of a new one. He gets the most sponsors out of every department, and has a natural charisma that people can’t help but follow. Talks to Kenma, Bokuto, Oikawa, Akaashi, Daichi, and Tendou the most. Is friends with pretty much everyone. Thinks Terushima would be a good friend to make. Filthy rich because of his bonuses. Like. disgusting so.**

**Sports Advertisement: Iwaizumi Hajime**

**Important Facts: avid about all types of sports, but if you get him started on volleyball he’ll never shut up. Very effective in his job but tends to yell a lot. It’s harmless, though, because he doesn’t have the heart to be mean to anyone. Oikawa drives him up a wall in a good way. And sometimes bad. Mostly bad. But the good is better. Friends with Daichi, Ushijima, Kiyoko, Akaashi, Mattsun, Hanamaki, Futakuchi, and Semi. Is a recent transfer, though, no one knows where he came from. Won’t say.**

**Fashion Advertisement: Azumane Asahi**

**Important Facts: a gentle giant. Is probably the most lenient of all the managers when it comes to mistakes, not that his team produces many. Is a fan of enjoying a nice cup of tea while reading his morning reports. Minds his own business but gets sucked into a lot of drama thanks to Sugawara and Oikawa. Is currently suffering because he doesn’t know how to get Nishinoya Yuu’s attention. The day will come. Maybe. Hopefully.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for posting late today i was busy 😭. tysm for the comments and kudos they mean sm to me 💗💗


	4. episode four: aggravation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not posting yesterday i forgot it was saturday LOL

The word sits heavy in Shirabu’s stomach for the rest of the weekend. 

_ Marriage _ . 

It’s single handedly ruining his cutthroat, self-implemented routine, too. 

8:00 - wake up. 

8:15 - finish washing up. 

8:30 - finish a piece of toast with raspberry jam and a cup of green tea. 

8: 45 - finish changing and go down for Tanaka to pick you up. 

9:00 - get to work in one piece (hopefully). 

9:30 - start his work day. 

Except now, it’s all skewed and Tanaka had to drag Shirabu out of bed for the first time in their one year of carpooling together, and he’s already submitted two wrong reports that Kiyoko had to work overtime to fix. 

Oikawa plays dumb, too, and somehow always manages to flit away from Shirabu’s grasp whenever he thinks his senior is free to chat for a bit. He only collects more unanswered questions, and more mistakes the meantime. 

“Shirabu, is something wrong? You’ve been acting differently this past week, and I’m not going to yell at you but your work can’t keep decreasing in quality. You know that.”

Shirabu freezes the whole time Semi talks, unable to look up to make eye contact. He must look disrespectful as all hell right now, seemingly ignoring a senior who’s giving him advice, but his stomach is squeezing tight and his knees are shaking underneath the desk. 

“Shirabu?”

Shirabu nods his head a bit, indicating that yeah, he heard the whole thing. 

“Shirabu, are you sure you’re -” 

Semi, who had placed his hand on Shirabu’s shoulder all of a sudden, is suddenly knocked back when Shirabu yelps and jumps out of his seat. 

“A-ah,” Shirabu stutters once he realizes what he’s done. Semi holds his right hand - the one Shirabu slapped. “I-I’m, fine. I’m fine. I’m sorry, I’ll fix the mistakes. All of them, I-I, I swear! Um, I just need to go to the ba-bathroom, excuse me!”

Shirabu books it out of there and mentally curses himself out. 

_ Are you stupid! You might as well have gotten a megaphone and screamed about how much you love him in front of everyone, what the hell was that! C’mon, Shirabu, get it together! Whether he’s married or not is none of your business, and you need to make sure your work isn’t suffering just because you are. What are you, five?  _

__ Shirabu finally reaches the bathroom and he washes his face off with a cold splash of water, running his wet hands through his hair to push his bangs back. 

His reflection looks just as disheveled as he feels. 

His undereye bags are big enough to carry their own groceries, his cheeks are sallow and colorless, and his lips are painfully chapped, bright red with the fresh blood that keeps seeping to the top. 

_ Get over it, Shirabu _ . 

Shirabu feels a tear run down his cheek but it blends in with the droplets still dripping down his forehead. 

_ Why would anyone ever love you?  _

__ _ Annoying.  _

__ _ Stickler.  _

__ _ Perfectionist.  _

__ _ Uptight.  _

__ _ Boring.  _

__ Shirabu is all of them. 

-

-

  
  


“You four. I get that you’re rookies, but are you kidding me?”

Hinata cowers before Daichi, struggling to keep his tears at bay. 

They really didn’t mean it. 

_ Really _ . 

“I-I’m sorry,” Yamaguchi says in a wobbly voice. “R-really, we all are, Daichi-san, we didn’t think -”

“That’s right,” Daichi roars again. “You guys didn’t  _ think _ . I need to go to corporate now, do you get that? How do you make such a beginner’s mistake, you have t-”

“What’s going on here?”

Hinata lets out a shaky breath and swears the group huddles closer together, leaning on each other for some kind of support. Even Tsukishima and Kageyama, the stingiest of the bunch, don’t shy away when Yamaguchi and Hinata start to push against their sides. 

Daichi stops scolding long enough to look up and see Sugawara enter his office, with a concerned expression pasted onto his face. 

Daichi sweeps a hand roughly through his hair and closes his eyes. “Suga. Do you need something?”

Sugawara’s eyebrows draw together. “I heard yelling. What’s wrong?”

“This doesn’t really concern- ”

“Daichi,” Sugawara says softly, yet firmly. “What happened? The whole building is practically shaking with how hard you’re yelling.”

Daichi throws a manilla folder down on his desk and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I put these four on a financial report and they submitted the final copy without going to a superior first. Iwaizumi just notified me when he got into a meeting and he realized the data was skewed and we sent the wrong offer to an affiliate. Now we need to explain to them why we need to charge them  _ more _ . Damn it.  _ Damn it _ .”

Sugawara sighs and takes a step closer to the four of them, and Hinata withers. Getting yelled at by Daichi is one thing, but having to see Sugawara’s disappointed face? 

Hinata would literally rather drown himself. 

“Hinata,” Sugawara says gently. Hinata keeps his eyes glued on the floor. “Hinata, c;mon. Look at me.”

Hinata shakes his head, not trusting his voice to stay even.

A thin finger pushes his chin up, and Hinata meets Sugawara’s wide eyes. 

Hinata starts wailing. 

“I’m - I’m s-sorry, I’m sorry! We d-didn’t know, I t-thought the nu-numbers matched and I sh-shouldn’t h-have clicked s-submit, p-please, I-”

“Hinata,” Sugawara whispers. “Oh, dear. It’s fine. Shh. I know. I know, okay? I’m sure you wouldn’t have done that on purpose. Shhh. You too, Tadashi. Okay?”

Sugawara continues to mumble random words of encouragement into Hinata’s ear, and he pulls the four of them into some kind of little group huddle. Hinata feels overwhelmed by all the bodies pressing together but Sugawara’s hand patting his head is the best feeling in the world so he doesn’t do anything to move away. Even Tuskishima stays still. 

“Suga, you can’t baby them just because you feel bad. They made a mistake, one that -”

“They know, Daichi, jesus  _ christ _ . I’m sure they get it, okay? That they messed up. And they won’t do it again, not after today. The mistake was caught, and even though it’s gonna suck to fix it, yelling at them won’t somehow erase the issue. So quit it, for crying out loud. They  _ know _ .”

“Suga! You can’t just butt in and play favorites, it’s not how-”

“I know!” Sugawara snaps. “God. Daichi. Drop it. We’ll talk later.”

Hinata’s ear is pressed up to Sugawara’s chest and he can feel how fast his heart is beating. 

There’s something else going on, probably. 

But it’s not really the time to think about it right now.

  
  


-

-

“Enno, Enno!”

Ennoshita already knows it’s Tanaka even before his name is said for the first time. A smile is brought to his lips inadvertently, but he makes sure to hide it before Tanaka actually makes it to his desk. 

“What up, Ryuu?” Ennoshita saves the document he’s working on and swivels his chair around. “Did something happen?”

Tanaka smiles cheekily, eyes scrunching up in the cute way that it does when he’s happy. “Enno, it’s already lunch time. C’mon, Noya and the others are waiting by the elevator!”

“O-oh,” Ennoshita checks his watch. “I guess it is. Let’s head down, then.”

“Jeez, Enno, where’s your head these days?” Tanaka just laughs and grabs Ennoshita’s hand, dragging him along faster. Ennoshita’s wrist burns where their skin meets, and he’s torn between ripping his arm away and letting himself indulge in the simple touch a bit more. 

There’s no more time to deliberate because the two of them reach the elevator in no time, and Tanaka’s already let go in favor of waving to Nishinoya. 

“Asami-san smiled at me today, I’m telling you!” Tanaka says animatedly to Nishinoya and Futakuchi while the elevator doors slide shut. 

“Yeah, and Nishinoya’s tall. Keep dreaming, loser. There’s no way she’d ever smile at a goblin like  _ you _ .”

Nishinoya lands a solid kick on Futakuchi’s butt. “Shut up, don’t drag me into your insults!”

“Ow, Noya!”

Ennoshita blocks the rest of the conversation out. 

Asami-san. 

The name’s been popping up a lot more lately. 

“But really, don’t you think it’s about time I got a girlfriend?” Tanaka nudges Futakuchi with a shoulder. Nishinoya does the same to Ennoshita, who pretends to ignore it. Damn the troll of a guy for catching onto his crush. “I mean, I just wanna  _ date _ someone, you know?”

“Just go for it, then. Ask her out. The worst she could do is reject you. Which she probably will. But on the small chance she  _ doesn’t _ , bam! You’re happy.”

Tanaka nods at Futakuchi’s words. “Enno, what do you think? Should I?”

_ Was the elevator ride always this fucking long? _

Nishinoya’s elbow bites into Ennoshita’s stomach. 

“Yeah,” Ennoshita swallows. The doors ding. “Any girl would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend, Ryuu.”

“And guy,” Nishinoya mutters quietly underneath his breath. 

Ennoshita tosses Nishinoya out the doors when they open. 

-

-

“The hell are you doing? Not that - not that you haven’t done weirder things. Actually, forget that I asked.”

Yahaba clicks his tongue and shoots a look at Kuroo. “Shh! I’m  _ spying _ right now, and you’re gonna get me caught!”

Kuroo peers over the edge of the wall where Yahaba’s been watching and snickers. “Kyoutani? And Kogane? Right, because they’re just so entertaining to watch?”

“Oh my  _ god _ , why do I need to spell everything out? I’m pretty sure Kyou likes him, so I’m just looking! I wanna give Kyou some tips on how to speak to his crush properly. It’s surveillance.”

“Well,” Kuroo pats Yahaba on the shoulder and nods. “I’ll leave you to your pervy dealings. I’ve got a deal to close, motherfucker.”

“You always curse so much before you need to go on the phone with superiors. It’s gonna slip one day, you know.”

“Well, bitch, it hasn’t happened yet! Bitch. Bitch! Fuck, I’m gonna do so good today. Fuck yeah!”

“Shut up and  _ go _ !”

Yahaba finally manages to get Kuroo to leave and he lets out a breath before going back to his observations. Kogane’s talking enthusiastically with his hands waving in the air, and Kyoutani, who’s usually stiller than stone, is actually  _ smiling _ at something. 

Well, it’s too lopsided to call a smile. 

More like, a baby grin. A  _ pre-smile _ , if one will. 

Wait a minute. 

Yahaba presses himself up against the wall a bit more. 

Wait. 




Minute. 

Someone who isn’t in the same department. A guy. Kind of stupid. (Sorry, Kogane.)

Yahaba’s heart does a skip. 

_So his crush is Kogane! Yes, I figured it out!_ _Plus, he’s actually smiling at the guy, Kyou must really like him!_

Yahaba cheers himself on. He’ll do whatever he can to help Kyoutani out with his crush, he swears it. 

_ Ha, imagine Kyou actually being … sweet? To someone else? Like, doing regular couple-y things? Imagine Kyou going shopping with another guy, or eating dinner with him, or buying him presents? Cuddling? Hugging?  _

Yahaba sucks in a sharp breath and stares at his hands. 

_ Kissing? _

__ _ More? _

Yahaba wonders why that makes him feel so uncomfortable. 

_ Whatever, _ Yahaba thinks.  _ I mean, it’s not weird. Any person would feel gross after imaging their best friend touching someone else. I’m the strange one, not him.  _

__ Kogane’s about to get real lucky.

-

-

  
  


It feels like an eternity for the day to end, but the clock finally hits 5:30, allowing Daichi to finally start packing up. He works slowly, hoping that Sugawara stops by his office before he’s done cleaning. Daichi doesn’t really feel like talking somewhere public, like the hallway. 

His wish comes true and Sugawara comes into the office after a knock, and Daichi stops packing his briefcase. 

“Suga.”

“Daichi.”

“We need to talk, you know.”

“I know,” Sugawara runs his tongue over his lips, eyes flitting everywhere but Daichi’s face. “That’s why I came down. What do you need?”

“What do I need?” Daichi clicks his briefcase shut and grips that handle a bit too tightly. “Suga, what you did today was completely inappropriate. I get that you like to dote on the new guys but you cannot get in the way of my work. They made a mistake and I needed to discipline them.”

“Are you kidding me, Daichi?” Sugawara crosses the span of Daichi’s office and comes so close that Daichi can count the individual eyelashes on his boyfriend’s face. “You screamed at them like they murdered someone! They made a mistake and they clearly felt bad for it. You were completely crossing the line - you can discipline someone without yelling like that!”

“Suga!” Daichi’s voice is a bit louder than he wants it to be. “Suga. Listen to me. Okay?  _ Listen _ . They aren’t. Your fucking. Children. Stop babying them.”

The slap comes so fast that it doesn’t really hurt Daichi until a full minute passes between them. 

Sugawara gasps and stares at his own hand like he’s surprised at what he did. 

“D-Daichi,” Sugawara blinks. Daichi stares back, unable to form words. “D-Daichi, I, I, th-that - I’m sorry. I’m sorry, D-Dai, I didn’t -”

“I’m,” Daichi interrupts quietly. His cheek stings. “That was -”

“Dai, Dai, I’m sorry. I didn’t - I didn’t mean, that, I’m -”

Sugawara runs out. 

Daichi grabs the right side of his face. Somehow, he doesn’t even have it in him to feel angry. It’s more confusing than anything. 

Plus, Sugawara’s face had been contorting like  _ he _ had been the one slapped. Clearly, he was just as surprised.

Sugawara had been crying. 

Why?

What did Daichi say that was so wrong?

Daichi’s fingers are numb with how hard he’s holding the briefcase. He wonders if Sugawara’s going home. They carpool every day, after all. 

_ What was that? _

-

-

“Wakatoshi-kun, are you in here?”

Ushijima nods solemnly, before he realizes that Tendou can’t see him through the door. “Ah, yes, please come in.”

His shoulders have been feeling stiff all day. The ache kind of melts away with Tendou’s entrance. 

“I missed you, Waka-kun,” Tendou says in a sing-songy voice. It tickles Ushijima’s ears. “Didn’t see you all day, huh? That’s pretty rare.”

“Yes, Tendou,” Ushijima offers Tendou a quick upturn of his lips. “It seems to be that way. Are you ready to leave? It’s cold out, I’ll preheat my car.”

“Um,” Tendou pauses, and Ushijma tilts his head. “Actually, I don’t need a ride today.”

“Oh? Is your car fixed?”

“No,” Tendou pats Ushijma’s hand, the one that’s still resting on his computer mouse. “My date’s coming to pick me up. Just seemed faster to go straight to the restaurant since he also works near here.”

Ushijma isn’t the best with words. 

So to put it simply, it feels like his heart just got stomped on. 

“Date?”

Tendou nods, lips pursed into a slightly goofy grin. “Yup! He seems really nice, so I’m excited. Plus, we’re trying out that new Chinese fusion restaurant, so -”

“You kept rejecting me,” Ushijima interjects. “Yet you said yes to someone else. Is he the reason? Tendou? That you will not date me?”

Tendou draws his hand back and sighs. “No, he isn’t. He’s not related to you in any way.”

“Then wh-”

“Wakatoshi-kun,” Tendou tightens his tie and turns back around. “I’ll be leaving now. We’ll talk later, okay?”

Ushijma watches the door close. 

The mouse is quite easy to crush underneath his palm. 

-

-

“Bokuto-san, I’m here!” Akaashi calls out once he’s in Bokuto’s house. The first floor doesn’t contain any bedrooms, but he doesn’t want to head up before he gets the confirmation that it’s okay. He’s been sick all day, so with the push of Kenma’s teasing, Akaashi had taken it upon himself to go and check up on him. 

“Akaashi?”

Akaashi screams.

“Ahh!”

“Wh-what is it!” Bokuto exclaims, eyes widening. 

Akaashi grips his chest and drops the bag in his hand.  _ Fuck, he scared me.  _ “O-oh, dear, um, nothing. I just - I didn’t think you were on the couch, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto smiles sheepishly and wraps the blanket that’s draped on his shoulders a bit tighter around himself. “Sorry I scared you, ‘Kaashi. But I couldn’t get up the stairs this morning. I’ve just been stuck on the sofa all day.”

Bokuto’s voice is pretty hoarse, cracking after every couple of words or so. Akaashi just grins. 

“Please, take a seat. I’ll clean up and then heat up some soup for you. Technically, it’s vegetable porridge, but you know. I -”

“I know, ‘Kaashi,” Bokuto says. His eyes are tired but he still looks happy, to which Akaashi is amazed. He must be running a hundred degree fever at  _ least _ but he looks placated somehow. “Thank you for coming over. Do you want a mask to put on?”

“Don’t worry about me, Bokuto-san. I haven’t gotten sick in three decades. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, Akaashi. I’m going to lie down for a minute.”

“Please do.”

Akaashi takes the next half-hour to tidy up the living room, throwing out the ripped up medicine packets on the coffee table, putting the remote back in front of the TV, placing the empty cups littering the floor back in the sink, and heating up the porridge. Once he’s done, Akaashi grabs a tray and a spoon from the cabinet and heads on over to the couch. 

“It looks delicious, Akaashi.”

“Bokuto-san, please refrain from talking too much. Your throat will just hurt more. Please, get started on this and I’ll bring you some more water and medicine. I don’t want you taking more pills on an empty stomach. Did you have anything this morning before you took your first round of medicine?”

Bokuto grins. “Yup! You told me to at least try to have a piece of toast, remember? I had to take the crust off, though.”

“Of course you did,” Akaashi giggles. “Wait here. I’ll change your cooling patch. The edges are curling up.”

It’s another half-hour, but Bokuto finally manages to finish his bowl off. Akaashi tells Bokuto to lie his head down on his lap, and Bokuto hums roughly as he does. 

“Tell me if it hurts, okay?” Akaashi carefully peels the cooling patch off of Bokuto’s forehead and wipes his skin down gently with a cold towel before placing the new one on. 

“Feels good, ‘Kaashi. ‘M getting sleepy.”

“You should rest, then. Your body needs to fight the germs out.”

“Can you imagine if Sakusa had to do this?”

Akaashi laughs along with Bokuto. “He’d pass out, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah. ‘Kaashi, can you hold my hand? It’s cold.”

“Of course, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto’s skin is burning hot to the touch. 

Akaashi can’t help but wish that they were more. 

“Akaashi, lean your head down for a second.”

Akaashi does so. 

Bokuto lands a kiss on Akaashi’s cheek. He’s too stunned to react, and Bokuto lets out a pleased sound when Akaashi sputters through his words. 

“Bokuto-san!”

“Sorry, ‘Kaashi, I know you don’t like kisses but I wanted to.”

Akaashi closes his eyes. “I - I, um. I see.”

_ What do I do with myself? _

  
  


-

-

**Sports Advertisement Department**

  
  
  


**Employee 1: Tanaka Ryuunosuke**

**Important Facts: is an energetic fellow who can’t seem to shut up about girls despite a friend who has a very clear crush on him. Spaces out a lot and doesn’t ever seem to be working but somehow manages to complete his work on time. Despite his loud exterior, he’s a diligent worker and genuinely enjoys his job. His favorite sports are volleyball and baseball, so most of the work that comes from those types of teams gets delegated to him. Friends with Ennoshita, Nishinoya, Taketora, Futakuchi, Kyoutani, Bokuto, Asahi, Hinata, Kageyama, Terushima, and Kuroo.**

  
  
  


**Employee 2: Nishinoya Yuu**

**Important Facts: is very sociable and friends with pretty much everyone in the office. He tends to make a lot of small mistakes, so he always gets his work double-checked by Iwaizumi before submitting. He’s aware of his surroundings despite being pretty clueless in everything else, and he picks up on other people’s cues pretty easily. It’s how he found out about Ennoshita’s crush. Wants the two of them two do something already, goddammit. Friends with Tanaka, Ennoshita, Futakuchi, Yamguchi, Tendou, Semi, Fukunaga, and Yaku.**

  
  
  


**Employee 3: Hinata Shouyou**

**Important Facts: is one of the new interns this year. Hasn’t messed up besides that one time with Daichi. Still has nightmares about it. Like. A lot. Brings a lot of his stuffed animals to work and everyone thinks it's cute. It took people a while to realize that his ditziness wasn’t exaggerated. Thinks Kageyama is meaner than necessary. Friends with Yachi, Kageyama (somehow), Yamaguchi, Tsukishima (another somehow), Kenma, Tendou, Atsumu, Inuoka, Kogane, and Goshiki.**

  
  
  


**Employee 4: Yamaguchi Tadashi**

**Important Facts: a sweet kid who likes to help others. He never seems to get annoyed when the work gets piled on him and even though he looks shy, he’s pretty talkative once you get to know him. There’s something going on with him and Tsukishima, but he refuses to answer. Maybe it’s crush, who knows. Friends with Hinata, Tsukishima, Kageyama, Terushima, Aone, Asahi, Yachi, Mika, and Lev.**

  
  


**Employee 5: Tsukishima Kei**

**Important Facts: acts snarky but he never actually turns down his seniors when it comes to requests. Never really eats during lunch but he snacks a lot throughout the day. His height comes in handy - everyone is always asking him to get things down from shelves (which secretly annoys him a lot). Friends with Yamaguchi, Hinata, Kageyama, Kenma, Sakusa, Akaashi, Suna, Osamu, and Shirabu. If anyone asks, it was against his will.**

  
  
  


**Employee 6: Bokuto Koutarou**

**Important Facts: loud as all hell and feeds off of other people’s enthusiasm. Especially a fan of getting into trouble with Tanaka, whether it’s printing out five hundred copies of random memes off of twitter to paste all over the office or losing a cat in the building. Thinks Akaashi is pretty. And that he’s nice. And that Akaashi’s really pretty. Actually, he can’t seem to answer any questions anymore. Can only repeat that Akaashi’s pretty over and over again. Moving on. Friends with Tanaka, Nishinoya, HInata, Atsumu, Akaashi, Kuroo, Ushijima, Oikawa, Iwaizumi, and Terushima but is friendly with pretty much everyone else.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u enjoyed 💗 as always comments and kudos are appreciated. ty for 1000+ hits <3
> 
> find me on instagram @/kozuchaan


	5. episode five: email

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any typos in advance. also tsukkiyama fluff keeps me going.

“Are you actually gonna go in, or are you just gonna stand around blocking the entrance for the rest of the day, dumbass?”

Hinata whirls around from his spot at the break room’s door and is met with the wide view of Kageyama’s chest, and he lets out a little groan when his nose slams into it.

“Tch,” Kageyama clicks his tongue before shoving Hinata out of the way with his shoulder. “Where’s your brain this morning? Not that you had much of one in the first place.”

“Do you have to be so mean?” Hinata glares. “You were the one I was looking for, anyways.”

Kageyama’s eyes narrow, like he has something to be suspicious of. “Me?”

“Yes,  _ you _ . I’ve been thinking - Sugawara senpai is right. We’re fighting too much and it’s already starting to affect our performances. I’d rather talk to you about why we can’t get along than get in more trouble.”

“Great idea, but what makes you think I want to talk to you? Just don’t get in my way, there’s nothing else to discuss.”

Hinata isn’t really the type to get angry, in fact, he could probably count on his fingers the number of times that someone left him mad enough to actually leave an impression. “What kind of self-entitled asshole are you? Did you not learn any manners or something? I get that I’m stupid, but I’m not a pushover!”

“And did you not learn how to shut up when someone tells you to?”

“What is your  _ problem _ !”

“My problem is  _ you _ , with your stupid voice and your stupid face!”

“That doesn’t even make any sense!”

“Whatever, idiot!”

“Kageyama!”

“Ugh,  _ move _ ! I forget what I came here for.”

Kageyama drops the packet of hot chocolate he had been so desperate to open and grumbles the whole way out, knocking into Hinata’s side once again. 

Hinata’s about to yell something again when he feels something hit his foot, and it’s not the door that’s swingingly wildly from when Kageyama left. 

_ A cardholder? _

Kageyama must’ve dropped it. The idea of throwing it out crosses Hinata’s mind for a second, but he shakes it away because he’s not  _ that  _ mean. 

_ But, _ Hinata huffs to himself.  _ It wouldn’t hurt to have a little look-through, right? Maybe I can find some dirt on him _ .

Hinata pulls out the credit cards first, and then deems them normal enough to ignore. There’s a clump of bills (really large ones; that’s kind of weird) and then a business card with one of the CEO’S names on it. 

That peaks Hinata’s curiosity - what’s Kageyama doing, walking around with  _ the  _ Keishin Ukai’s card?

He takes it out and hums as he flips it over. 

_ Tobio, I set up the reservation tonight at la rouge. Takeda is going to come pick you up after work so be nice to him.  _

  * _Ukai K._



Hinata blinks. 

And then he blinks again. 

No way. 

No way, no way, no  _ way _ . 

Hinata shoves everything back into the cardholder, bills and cards and especially that stupid little memo. 

_ Is Kageyama - _

_ No, he wouldn’t.  _

_ He can’t be _ . 

Hinata’s pretty sure about the man named Takeda being Ukai Keishin-san’s partner. 

  
  


_ But what if! _

_ I mean, Kageyama is kind of pretty, I guess. Or not really. Ew, fine, he’s not. But.  _

Hinata trembles his whole back back to his seat. 

“You dropped this,” Hinata murmurs, not bothering to make eye contact with Kageyama as he drops the cardholder onto his desk. “Try not to be so forgetful,  _ idiot _ .”

“Oh,” Kageyama shoves it back into his pocket. “Y-you, didn’t see anything in it, did you?”

Hinata turns on his monitor. “Of course not, I’m not a snoop. Now, I need to work so don’t bother me.”

“Whatever, dumbass.”

Hinata types in his username incorrectly seven times. 

-

-

“ _ God, _ do you have the spacial awareness of an intoxicated squirrel?”

Terushima bites his lips and squeezes his hands into fists by his side, hoping that he’s in the middle of an incredibly realistic and incredibly sucky nightmare. 

But when he looks up to see Daishou’s angry eyes glaring down at him, he knows it isn’t. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Terushima whispers. “A-are you okay? I can go out and buy you a new shirt if you’d like. Actually, no, I insist.”

The plastic drink cup that had been holding the contents of Terushima’s iced latte is on the floor, while the actual coffee that had been inside is dumped all over the front of Daishou’s shirt. The white fabric absorbs the latte pretty quickly, staining nearly the entirety of Daishou’s clothes. 

“Don’t bother,” Daishou grumbles. “God. What is this, the  _ third time _ ? Walk in a straight line, would you?”

“I’m sorry,” Terushima whispers again. He’s unable to bring his voice up any higher. “Really, I’m sorry, Daishou-san, it’s just that I didn’t see -”

“Yeah, yeah, didn’t see me. Said that the first two times.”

Daishou doesn’t bother sticking around any longer, and uses his shoulder to shove rather violently past Terushima’s body. 

_ Fuck _ . 

“Are you okay?”

Terushima’s eyes skitter around the break room until they land on Kenma, who’s tucked away in the corner with his phone held close to his face. 

“Y-yes, I’m fine. It’s just that - I keep dropping things on Daishou-san and I don’t know why! I mean, I’m fine with everyone else but it’s like the moment he looks at me, I forget how to act like a human.”

Kenma smiles and goes back to tapping away on his screen. “Sounds like someone’s got a crush.”

“A what?”

_ Crush? _

Terushima could laugh - Daishou probably wants to tear his guts out, so it’s not like he’d have a chance even if what Kenma had just said was true. Which it’s not. 

It’s not. 

Terushima doesn’t have a crush on Daishou. 

Nope. 

“You realize you’re talking out loud, right?”

Terushima blinks. “I, um, that was -”

“I won’t say anything. Just be more careful around him, I guess. He’s kind of in the middle of a rough break up so I wouldn’t go around dumping any more drinks on him if I could help it.“

Terushima leans over and picks up the scattered lid and cup from before. “Right.”

He should probably clean up the floor.

-

-

“You’ve been avoiding me lately, Kenma.”

Kenma freezes when he hears Kuroo’s voice echo across the space of the empty office. Sugawara, Akaashi, and Yachi are all out, and it seems like Kenma’s cornered - there’s no excuse that he’s busy since Kuroo must’ve seen the game pulled up on the monitor. 

“I’m not avoiding you,” Kenma answers, settling on an annoyed tone. “I’m just busy.”

“I’m sure -” Kuroo looks at the screen and smiles. “I’m sure raising virtual cat babies is an extremely important and time-consuming task. I can’t believe I was conceited enough to think that you were trying to stay away from me.”

Kenma tilts his head and offers Kuroo a tiny grin. “It’s both, actually. Meowsers is being a handful and I don’t particularly feel inclined to converse with you.”

Kuroo sweeps an arm through the air before guiding his hand down to his heart. “Alas. I’ve been dumped already, is that it? Kicked to the curb. Broken up with. My heart can only be described as shattered. Utterly and completely mangled. Chewed to pieces. Don’t be so cruel, Kenma.”

This. 

Kenma missed this. Kuroo’s presence, his stupid banter, and his ever stupider face.

Truthfully, he’s been avoiding Kuroo actively for close to two weeks now, and to be caught in it is more embarrassing than anything. 

“What do you need, Kuroo.”

Kuroo sighs. “I need you to start coming by my office again, Kenma. It’s boring. I miss when I can see your blond head bobbing through the cubicles before you reach my door. C’mon. I miss my  _ friend _ .”

“You have a lot of those.”

“Is something wrong? Did I do something?”

_ No, you didn’t do anything, you idiot. It just - it’s hard being in love with you and having no chance _ . 

Kenma can’t say that. 

“No. You didn’t, Kuroo. I swear. I’m just a bit out of it these days.”

Kuroo comes up to Kenma’s side and squats on the floor so he’s about eye level with Kenma’s knees. “Do you need a pick-me-up? You could come over and watch some TV with me. And I’ll give you any of my hoodies. Hmm?”

Kenma finds it hard to face Kuroo, who’s looking up at him so earnestly. He settles on patting Kuroo’s head and spins the chair around, effectively forcing Kuroo to stand back up again or choose to continue staring at the back of the seat. “I don’t think I have the time tonight.”

“I’ll -” Kuroo clears his throat. “Um, okay. Sorry. I’ll text you later or something, okay?”

“Okay,” Kenma whispers, not wanting to watch Kuroo walk out. “Later, then. Bye.”

Kenma lets out a breath and sinks into the chair as deep as he can, lower back aching with how hard it’s pressed up against the seat. 

_ It’ll be over soon _ . 

Kenma clicks out of the game and stares at the word document that takes its place. 

_ Notice of Transfer _ . 

He should fill it out soon. There’s no point in stalling.

-

-

Yamaguchi always wakes up earlier than Tsukishima, which means more often than not, he’s on breakfast duty. That’s not to say Tsukishima sleeps in a lot, because he’s too uptight to  _ not _ have a rigid schedule, but still. He’s on breakfast and lunch most of the time, and today’s no exception. 

Today, Yamaguchi hears Tsukishima’s groggy arrival to the kitchen before he can see him. 

“Morning, Tadashi,” Tsukishima clears his throat roughly and Yamaguchi smiles, still facing the pan. “What’s for breakfast today?”

A pair of arms gently wrap around Yamaguchi’s midsection as he moves around a couple pieces of spam and two eggs on the pan. “Some protein, and I’ve got some miso soup heating up over there. Could you set the table and get the rice?”

Tsukishima nods sleepily into the crook of Yamaguchi’s neck. “Gimme a kiss and I’ll be faster.”

“You’re such a nerd.”

“Come on,” Tsukishima whines. “You didn’t even give me one last night.”

Yamaguchi laughs and turns his head just quick enough to plant a chaste kiss on Tsukishima’s cheek. “I’ll make it up to you later. Shoo.”

Tsukishima grumbles and retaliates by blowing a raspberry right into Yamaguchi’s exposed shoulder and steps away before he can get swatted down with a spatula. 

“Do you need me to pack anything for lunch?”

“No,” Yamaguchi turns the flame off for both the pan and the pot holding the soup and starts plating breakfast. “I already finished packing them, they should be on the table. Can you believe it? I accidentally burned some of my katsu, but I don’t even know how! The oil wasn’t even that hot, I swear. But anyways. At least yours came out good, right?”

“Did you get distracted? You said the same thing last time but it was because you were listening to the radio.

Yamaguchi can’t help but pout when Tsukishima laughs. “I wasn’t  _ distracted _ , thank you very much. Go sit down now.”

Tsukishima complies easily and waits for Yamaguchi to bring the tray of side dishes to the table, and they start eating right away. 

“Do you think we can escape Hinata and Yachi during lunch today?” Yamaguchi doesn’t bother mentioning Kageyama - only because he knows Kageyama probably wouldn’t even notice the two of them missing unless someone pointed it out- and chews on a piece of his egg slowly. “I want to eat lunch together, it’s been a while.”

Tsukishima nods. “Probably, but Yahaba’s been kind of hogging my time lately.”

“He likes you, you know.”

Yamaguchi feels his lips purse together and Tsukishima just rolls his eyes before leaning across the table to press a salty kiss onto Yamaguchi’s lips. 

“Don’t worry about him, Yams. I kind of got the vibe that he liked me too, but I think his real crush is Kyoutani.”

Yamaguchi smiles. He’s a sucker for gossip, no matter how hard he denies it. “What? No way! They’re like polar opposites!”

“I know, but I don’t think Yahaba even notices. Whenever he’s with me, all he does is talk about how Kyoutani said this, how Kyoutani said that. He thinks Kyoutani’s into Kogane, though, so he’s coming up with a  _ matchmaking plan _ or whatever but he doesn’t even realize how upset his expression gets.”

“As cute as that theory is,” Yamaguchi picks at his rice. “I still don’t like it.”

“I could say the same thing about you and Terushima hanging out, no?”

Yamaguchi shoves the rest of his whole fried egg into his mouth to save him some time. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Tsukishima just mumbles something underneath his breath and they spend the rest of their breakfast bantering before Yamaguchi shrieks when he sees the time - they’ll be late if they don’t leave right now.

“Here’s your lunch,” Tsukishima says as he opens the front door. Yamaguchi takes the bento and shoves his feet into his shoes a bit faster. 

“Thanks - wait! Tsukishima, this is yours! I have the green one!”

“Idiot,” Tsukishima steps out. “Do you think I’d let my boyfriend sit in front of me eating burnt katsu?”

“Tsukki! But -”

“I’ll get the car started. Hurry up, okay?”

Yamaguchi stares down at the lunchbox and can’t help but feel a smile erupt over his face. 

Yeah. 

He has nothing to worry about. 

-

-

“And so, that’s basically what happened. What do you think I should do?”

Akaashi can’t help but fidget around with his hands and waits for a reaction from Kenma, but judging by the look on Kenma’s face, it’s probably not going to be a good one. 

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

Akaashi blinks. “I don’t think I am, no.”

“Akaashi,” Kenma mutters. “Bokuto  _ kissed your cheek _ . And you’re asking me what you should  _ do _ ? Ask him out, for crying out loud! Even for him, that’s a bit much to just call friendly. Are you stupid?”

“Okay, fine, it was unexpected, yes. But still. What if he says no? Don’t you think I want to? I just need reassurance, Kenma, and this isn’t helping.”

Kenma shakes his head and swivels back to his game. “I’ve been pushing you to just suck it the fuck up and ask him out for the past two years. At this point, the ball is in your court. It’s literally right there. Like, no one else is on the court. The court is empty. It’s just you and the ball and then Bokuto, right there in the corner. Again. It’s an empty c-”

“I get it,” Akaashi deadpans. “I have the court.”

“No, you have the  _ ball _ , not the co-”

“I’ll scream right now.”

“Yachi’s right there, you wouldn’t.”

Yachi waves nervously from her post and Akaashi sighs. “You’re lucky she’s here, Kenma.”

“Thank the lords,” Kenma puts his hands in a prayer formation and bows his heads. “Otherwise, I don’t think I would’ve survived this encounter.”

The shit-eating grin sends the last of Akaashi’s rationale toppling over and he’s about to tear Kenma a new one when a set of hands land on his desk. 

“Osamu?” Akaashi smiles and fixes his glasses. “What up?”

“Hey Kenma, Yachi,” Osamu says first before nodding to Akaashi. “And hey, ‘Kaashi. I just swung by to let you know that a new breakfast cafe opened up nearby, and I got the business card from a friend. Here.”

Akaashi takes the card from Osamu’s hand and peers at the label. 

_ MLLK  _

_ Fresh milk pancakes, milk teas, milk shakes available for purchase.  _

_ Breakfast menu closes at 11 AM _

_ We hope you enjoy, dear customer! _

“Wait, is his the new place with the fluffy pancakes that are like, three inches thick?”

Osamu nods, mirroring Akaashi’s excitement. “Yeah, wanna go on Saturday around nine? I asked Suna, but he’s been sleeping in a lot lately so I don’t think he’s gonna make it. What do you say, another Osamu and Keiji food adventure?”

Akaashi pushes his glasses up and grins. “You know it. Just text me where to meet you.”

“Great. See ya!”

Osamu waves to the secretaries before disappearing and Kenma tilts his head. “But don’t you go to the gym with Bokuto on Saturdays?”

“Not that early.”

“Your meal is probably gonna last for more than two hours, you know.”

“Then I’ll just cancel.”

“The meal?”

“Bokuto.”

Kenma narrows his eyes. “I don’t think this is gonna end well.”

“I -” Akaashi’s phone goes off, interrupting what  _ would’ve _ been a snappy retort. “Sorry. Let me get that.”

Kenma smiles. “Sure.”

  
  


_ Bokuto: Kaashi! _

_ Akaashi: yes, bokuto-san? _

_ Bokuto: Kaashi, we’re still on for tomorrow right? Make sure to bring an extra change of clothes! _

_ Akaashi: oh, bokuto-san, i was actually going to text you. i have plans for that day, i’m sorry.  _

_ Bokuto: Ah! I see, have fun Kaashi! _

_ Akaashi: thank you, i will :) _

_ Bokuto: <3  _

Akaashi puts his phone down. 

He needs to start moving on. 

-

-

Kuroo, as much as he really does love Bokuto, can’t stand his friend right now. 

“Bo, I  _ know _ Akaashi cancelling on you is a bummer but cheer up! He’s allowed to have other friends, you know.”

“I  _ know _ ,” Bokuto wails, throwing his roughly two-hundred pound body of solid muscle against Kuroo’s moderately-average self. It’s like getting hit in the stomach with a fucking wrecking ball. “But I  _ miss _ him! He’s been ignoring me lately, and I don’t know why he won’t tell me what’s wrong!”

Kuroo drags Bokuto out of his office and in the middle of the branch floor, only to be ignored by most of his team. They’re used to Bokuto’s moping by now, anyways, which is comically alarming. 

“Kuroo, I need you to -” A passing Ushijma blinks at the sight of Bokuto shoving his face into Kuroo’s chest to try and hide himself. “Hello, Bokuto. It’s nice to see you today.”

Bokuto turns around and sniffles. “Hey, Ushi.”

“Did you need me to sign that?”

Ushijma tilts his head but nods and hands Kuroo the packet he had been holding. “Yes, that would be great.”

“Bo,” Kuroo grins. “Why don’t we hug Ushijima here instead?”

Ushijima opens his mouth to protest but Kuroo gives him a look that says  _ if you don’t go with it I’ll end your bloodline, probably _ , and Ushijima nods carefully. Kuroo doesn’t know if it translated well or not, but the other man doesn’t make a move to back away. 

“Hug Ushi?” Bokuto blinks his owlish eyes. 

Kuroo takes Bokuto’s hands and places them directly on Ushijima’s pectorals, but he’s left in awe with how  _ firm _ they are. (There’s no way this isn’t some form of harassment, but Kuroo ignores the details.)

“See? His muscles are nice, right?”

Bokuto sighs and goes back to poking and prodding his cheek into Ushijima’s front. “Yeah.”

Ushijima seems to be malfunctioning and Kuroo hears Daishou snickering at his desk. 

“Thanks, Ushijima. I’ll be right out with these forms.”

Ushijima stutters. “Th-thank you, Kuroo.”

Kuroo slams his door shut and draws the curtains. 

Bokuto Kotarou is officially  _ not his problem _ anymore. 

-

-

Today had been rather uneventful for Shirabu (besides the internal doom at the fact that the love of his life is somehow  _ married _ and he never noticed), but of course, Oikawa Tooru would never allow that to happen. 

Shirabu’s in the middle of working on a new product design proposal when he hears sudden sobbing from the desk right next to his. He’s not the only one who’s surprised. 

“O-Oikawa-san?” Shirabu doesn’t get a response so he peers over their divider and sees Oikawa’s head buried in his arms, shoulders wracking up and down as he cries. “Are you okay? What happened?”

Tendou appears out of nowhere, with a confused expression on his face. “Oiks, you good? Are you hurt?”

Oikawa shakes his head and Semi shakes his head. “Give me a second, I’ll call Iwaizumi.”

It’s hard for Shirabu to get back to work with a crying man-baby next to him, so he chooses to just give up for a while and stands by Oikawa’s desk, patting his senior’s back every so often and murmuring random words of comfort to him. 

Not even five minutes pass and Iwaizumi rushes into the room, clearly frazzled by the notification of Oikawa being unconsolable. 

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi grunts as he drops to his knees to be more level with his boyfriend. “Oikawa, are you okay? Semi told me you’re crying, what’s wrong?”

Shirabu backs away but Tendou clings to his shirt, using Shirabu as some kind of pole to lean on as he watches with piqued interest. 

  
  


Oikawa throws himself onto Iwaizumi. “ _ Mualmadid. _ ”

Shirabu gives Tendou a look and Tendou shrugs. 

Iwaizumi looks confused. “What?”

Oikawa throws his head up into the air and cries, “My llama died! Can you believe that? I literally  _ just _ adopted Ricecake like  _ four weeks ago _ and he’s  _ dead _ , Iwa-chan, he’s  _ dead _ , what do I do? I need to go bury him, I need to do something! South American isn’t  _ that _ far, right? God, what do I  _ do _ ?”

Shirabu feels a headrush coming on. 

_ You’re kidding me, right? _

“I don’t get what’s happening,” Iwaizumi says slowly. “You, have -  _ had _ , um, a pet llama?”

Oikawa glares and scrubs his face with his palm. “ _ No _ , I  _ adopted _ Ricecake from a farm in South America. You know, those foreign programs where you can pay for an animal from a remote location? They just sent me an email so I thought it was a weekly update on his status but he’s  _ dead _ !”

Iwaizumi squints at the computer screen. “I see.”

“You aren’t upset enough!”

“I’m sorry!” Iwaizumi holds his hands up in defense. “You’re right, it’s a shame that it happened. Okay? We’ll - we’ll have a funeral for him. From here. You can invite your friends and we’ll have a vigil or something right here in the office. Isn’t that right, Kiyoko?”

_ Poor Kiyoko-san _ , Shirabu thinks.  _ She doesn’t get paid enough for this.  _

“Of course,” Kiyoko offers Oikawa a small smile. “I’ll email Daichi for you.”

Oikawa sniffles. “Can I squeeze your arm?”

Iwaizumi narrows his eyes. “You didn’t cry just because you wanted to  _ hold my arms _ , did you?”

Oikawa bats his lashes. He looks so pretty, somehow, despite how cried out he is. 

“Of course not, Iwa-chan! Who do you take me for!”

Tendou snorts. “Oikawa Tooru, obviously.”

Oikawa glares but takes Iwaizumi’s arm nonetheless. “Oh, shut up, you idiot.”

Shirabu slinks back to his seat. 

_ Who’s the real idiot? _

-

-

Tendou’s late to pack up today, just like yesterday, and the day before. 

It’s easier to just hang back for another hour than to risk facing Ushijima - it seemed like lying about a boyfriend only made him more desperate to talk to Tendou. 

It’s already eight in the evening, which seems sufficient enough. Tendou rubs his eyelids with the pads of his index fingers before he picks up his briefcase, wondering if he should take another migraine pill before sleep. He doesn’t want to end up dependent on them, but his headaches have been nothing short of killer lately. 

He’s about to just head out when he realizes that Oikawa’s computer hasn’t been shut off properly, and the screen is still glowing. Smiling at Oikawa’s random forgetfulness, he heads over to the desk to turn it off. 

_ Bing _ . 

Tendou touching the mouse turns the screen back on, and Oikawa’s email blinks to life. 

  
  


_ Unknown Sender _

_ Subject: Transfer Request _

Tendou bites his lip - he’s  _ not _ a snoop, but transfer? Oikawa hadn’t mentioned anything like that. 

_ Don’t click it, Tendou, just go home _ . 

Something tells Tendou that he needs to open it, though. 

He wishes he hadn’t. 

_ Unknown Sender _

_ Subject: Transfer Request _

_ To Oikawa Tooru -  _

_ Please let it be known that we are still waiting to hear back on your negotiation. We are willing to discuss an increase in salary. We would be more than happy to provide accommodations if you choose to come to our place of work.  _

_ Sincerely,  _

_ The Satsukoi Company _

Tendou reads the sender’s name over and over again until his eyes go numb. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! sorry for disappearing, it's just that school got busy. ill come back and edit this to add the employee notes later. thank u all sm for your lovely comments and wow i can't believe this is almost at 2k hits! hope you enjoyed this chapter~
> 
> instagram: @kozuchaan


	6. episode six: funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kiyoyachi bc i refuse to neglect them

“Your little pet isn’t stopping by lately, huh?”

Sakusa grits his teeth at Futakuchi’s remark and continues to type out his file. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Futakuchi sighs. “Just admit it, Sakusa. It’s weird to not have him come in every day, right?”

“Weird? I should be thankful that I can finally get my work done without him barging into my shit. Now, shut up and go back to doing your report, I know Ushijima’s expecting it soon.”

“I know you’re just trying to get me to fuck off,” Futakuchi clicks something on his screen. “And I hate that it’s working. Bitch.”

“Right back at you,” Sakusa snorts. 

But the uncomfortable tug in his stomach doesn’t go away. It’s true - it really  _ is _ strange, for some reason, to not see Atsumu’s horribly bright head come bobbing and weaving through the desks to get to Sakusa, or to not hear the awfully wretched way Atsumu calls to him. 

_ Omi-san! _

What a stupid nickname. 

Sakusa wants to scoff at himself. He has no right to be mad after what he said to Atsumu, but still. It’s - 

It’s not like he  _ didn’t  _ like Atsumu. In fact, if he were even just a tiny bit more confident with himself, he probably wouldn’t have hesitated to accept one of those lunch dates. The problem lies in the fact that despite Sakusa’s roughness, he gets attached to people pretty quickly. 

And they always end up leaving. 

It would hurt if Atsumu ended up doing that, too. 

_ Maybe a cup of tea is going to help me calm down right now _ , Sakusa thinks. He grabs his reusable water bottle from his desk and heads over to the break room, deciding to take his time roaming the halls before he reaches his destination. 

Of fucking course. 

“Sakusa-san,” Atsumu nods from the table, getting up to give him a quick bow. “Hello.”

Sakusa gulps. “Y-yeah. I-I mean, hi.”

Atsumu gives him a look of confusion but doesn’t say anything further, choosing to sit down and go back to his muffin instead. 

Sakusa wills the brewer to just go faster, for fuck’s sake. But it’s like the world has a personal vendetta against him and he watches as barely an inch of his bottle gets filled by hot water. 

“So,” Sakusa’s eyes widen when he realizes it’s his own mouth speaking.  _ What the fuck, shut up! _ “Are you doing okay lately?”

Atsumu blinks and puts his phone down. Sakusa prays that his face isn’t red right now.  _ Shut up, shut up, shut up. _

“Y-yes, I’m doing fine. And you?”

“Yeah, me too,” Sakusa wants someone to punch him in the face. “S-sorry, for asking. It’s just that I haven’t heard from you lately.”

Atsumu flushes. 

_ Yeah, it’s because you publicly humiliated the poor kid and rejected him in front of everyone, you fucking idiot _ , Sakusa tells himself. 

“R-right,” Atsumu’s voice shakes a bit. “Um, I didn’t want to bother you any more than I already had.”

“It wasn’t -”  _ Oh my god, just kill me now _ . “It wasn’t a bother, Atsumu. Or, I guess. Okay. Wow. Let me start over.”

_ Dear god, what the fuck is wrong with you? _

“Okay?” Atsumu says carefully. 

“I don’t mind being your friend, Atsumu. You can, you know. Come talk to me if you ever need it.”

Atsumu gives Sakusa a tiny smile and it sets off alarm bells in his head. 

“I don’t even have your number, Sakusa-san.”

Sakusa misses his nickname. 

“I can give it to you, um, now, if you want.”

Holding up his phone, Atsumu nods. “Okay!”

Sakusa wants to take his bottle of piping hot tea and dump it on himself. 

Seriously. 

What the fuck is he doing?

-

-

“What’re you thinking so hard about?”

Yahaba, who’s in the middle of making copies, nearly screams when he feels something poke his back. He whirls around, only to find Kyoutani giving him an amused smirk, pencil in hand. Yahaba frowns and rubs his waist where he just got  _ stabbed _ , thank you very much. 

“What do you mean?”

Kyoutani snorts. “Dude, I’ve been calling you for the last four minutes and you just kept nodding. Seriously, are you okay?”

Yahaba realizes that he didn’t even click start on the copy machine - crap.

“It’s just -” Yahaba pauses and smashes the button down a bit harder than he intended. “You, actually. I’m thinking about you.”

Kyoutani looks surprised for a moment, but grins. “I  _ am _ devilishly handsome, aren’t I?”

It’s Yahaba’s turn to snort. “About what you  _ said _ , dumbass. About your crush.”

Kyountani laughs and Yahaba finds it endearing that Kyoutani can make a face that happy. Maybe not towards other people, but at least in front of Yahaba he can. 

Yahaba shoves the feeling of  _ being special _ to the side. 

“What about him?” Kyoutani leans against the side of the copy machine and Yahaba’s surprised at their proximity. 

“I think I figured it out.”

Kyoutani takes an immediate step back and lets out an awkward grunt. “Oh? Who might that be?”

Yahaba rolls his eyes. “It’s obvious.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah!”

“Listen, I can explain -”

“What’s there to explain? Kogane’s like, the brightest guy in the office. You made a good choice.”

Kyoutani blinks. Yahaba just gives him another weird look - he must be embarrassed, getting caught this quickly. “Kogane. Right. Yeah.”

Yahaba nudges Kyoutani’s foot with his own and tilts his head. The flush on Kyoutani’s usually stony face is no joke. “Don’t be embarrassed. At least I can give you advice now! You know? Since you’re always helping me with Tsukishima. Although, since Yamaguchi keeps glaring at me, I’m pretty sure they’re a thing.”

Kyoutani nods. “You deserve better, anyways.”

“Sure. Now. Spill everything, because I’m still kind of mad that you tried to keep it a secret from me. What is it about him?”

Kyoutani’s gaze softens. It’s kind of amazing how much his expression shifts. 

“He’s - everything I’m not, I guess. Kind. Warm. He knows what to say to get me out of my shitty moods and I feel I can be genuine around him without being embarrassed, you know?”

Yahaba finds it hard to keep his smile. 

_ What, so you can’t be honest around me?  _

__ _ I’m your best friend, don’t you think I’d listen to you like that? _

The intrusive thought is surprising. So surprising that Yahaba nearly tunes his friend out. 

“- and he just, you know. Always makes me smile, whether he knows it or not. And I hate getting sappy, but I feel like he’s worth it.”

Yahaba’s stomach sours. He’s still going? 

A beep from the machine breaks their conversation and Yahaba looks down at the stack of papers that are spilling from the machine. 

Literally spilling. 

“Holy  _ shit _ , Yahaba, how many copies did Kiyoko want you to make?”

Yahaba gasps. “Fuck.  _ Fuck!  _ It was supposed to be fifty!”

The beeping continues to escalate until the machine is practically screeching, with papers flying everywhere once the room on the tray disappears. 

“Dude, click off or something, it’s probably overheating!”

Yahaba panics and smashes his hand down on the control panel, and that’s when he notices the number he typed in. 

  1. _500_. 



It’s only on copy number 137, but still. 

That’s more than enough. 

“Yahaba!” Kyoutani shoves Yahaba out of the way and yanks the cord from the outlet, effectively shutting the giant hunk of useless plastic up. “Where’s your head?”

Yahaba blinks at the flurry of paper by his feet and gulps. 

“I wish I knew.”

-

-

“Hmm, hmm,” Hinata hums underneath his breath as he pulls his fly up. “What should I do today? Project, or files? Files, or projects? Hmmm.”

(He admits it’s immature to sing about his daily plans while finishing up his business in the bathroom, but still. It’s not like anything else is going to entertain him.)

“So, what did you need to talk to me about?”

The stranger’s voice is so close that Hinata nearly shits his pants - which would’ve been pretty ironic, considering that there’s a literal toilet in front of him. 

Thankfully, he shut up with his song before the voice showed up, so Hinata thinks he’s in the clear. 

_ Maybe I should just stay here until the guy leaves,  _ Hinata thinks. It seems like the question was addressed to another person, so it would be awkward to go out, wash his hands, and leave while they were talking. 

“It’s about next week’s dinner.”

Hinata feels his eyes split open. 

That’s Kageyama’s voice. 

Hinata immediately throws himself to the tiny little crack between the bathroom stall door and peers out of it. 

He’s met with Kageyama’s back, but Hinata can tell it’s him by the hair. The other guy, who had asked the first question, leans against one of the sinks with his arms crossed. He’s got messy blonde hair shoved back by a headband, and the top button of his dress shirt is roughly undone. He doesn’t really scream  _ professional _ , to be honest. 

“What about the dinner?” The stranger asks, rolling his neck out and groaning when his bones crack. “Is it the time? Does it not work for you?”

Kageyama shakes his head. “No, it’s just that, it’s Valentine’s Day. Shouldn’t you spend it with someone special?”

The man narrows his eyes. “What’re you implying, Kags?”

_ Kags. A nickname. So they’re close? But why don’t I recognize the other guy, if he’s a senior here? _

“I mean, you should be spending it with Takeda.”

The stranger laughs. “You’re cute, kid. Don’t worry about things like that and just show up for dinner, okay? Wear a suit. You showing up last time in jeans and a t-shirt was funny but this time it’s going to be a nicer place.”

“God, why can’t we just eat at home like regular people?”

“We’ll eat at home when we  _ become _ regular people.”

“I hate these stupid dinners, you know.”

Hinata watches as the stranger laughs and pats Kageyama on the head, only to earn an annoyed growl from the younger man. 

“C’mon, go back to work. There’s no way Iwaizumi’s letting you guys off the hook easy.” The stranger turns and disappears out of Hinata’s field of vision, but the creaking of the door tells him that he’s leaving. 

“Bye, Ukai!”

“Honorifics, kid!”

Kageyama mutters something underneath his breath and walks out, too, leaving a very frazzled Hinata stuck in a bathroom stall. 

_ I was right,  _ Hinata thinks.  _ I knew it. I knew it! _

__ Ukai? 

Hinata gulps awkwardly when he comes to his realization.

Kageyama’s the CEO’s boytoy. 

-

-

“Um, these are the papers that Sugawara-san told me to bring down, I’m sorry for bothering you!”

Kiyoko gives Yachi a mild smile and watches as the secretary fumbles over a couple of folders, each other decorated with cartoon characters and a whole lot of pink. 

It’s adorable. 

“Thank you, honey,” Kiyoko says softly. She can read Yachi like an open book - in fact, it would be weirder if she couldn’t. Yachi can’t keep her emotions hidden to save her life and Kiyoko wouldn’t have it any other way, to be honest. “Do you mind getting me a cup of coffee?”

Yachi’s wide eyes blink thoughtfully and she nods with a little giggle at the pet name. “Yes, of course! Ah, light on the sugar but a bit heavier on the half-and-half?”

Kiyoko grins. “Perfect.”

“I’ll be right back!”

Yachi stumbles over air, as always, and dashes out of the room with a red blush to her cheeks. Oikawa pokes his nosy little head into the office and he grins. 

“So,  _ Kiyoko _ ,” Oikawa’s practically singing. “Are you going through with the plan or what?”

Kiyoko rolls her eyes but feels her pulse quicken underneath her skin. “I’ll have to tell you that later, I’m busy.”

“Awe, don’t be like that! You can’t ask me for advice on how to ask her out and then  _ not _ tell me when it’s gonna happen!”

Kiyoko hums. “Well, that’s unfortunate.”

“I know you don’t have anything to work on right now, I saw your screen.”

“Yes, but don’t you? I could’ve sworn I already extended the deadline for your Aera brand contract three days.”

Oikawa narrows his eyes. “Touché. Actually, not touché. That’s just unfair!”

“You’re a worthy opponent when it comes to fights of the spoken word,” Kiyoko muses gently. “I’m just better.”

Oikawa continues his glaring but slinks out of the room, whining about something to Semi. 

It takes a couple of minutes for Yachi to come back with the drink, but once she does, Kiyoko decides there’s no point in waiting or beating around the bush. 

“Yachi, could you close the door for a second? I need to speak with you.”

Yachi hastily follows the request and steps in front of Kiyoko. “A-am I in trouble? I-I’m sorry for whatever it was, I swear I didn’t m-”

“No, no, Yachi, it’s not like that,” Kiyoko sighs and opens up her drawer. A strand of hair falls into her eyes when she moves, so she tucks it back while taking out a black gift box. “I actually had a question to ask you.”

“O-oh! Of course, I’m so sorry!”

“Yachi,” Kiyoko sets the box down on her desk and pushes it towards Yachi. “This isn’t nearly as romantic as I hoped it would be, but honestly, I’m too nervous to go about it any other way. So I’ll ask you directly. Simply. Will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?”

Yachi explodes into a bloom of red, pale skin lighting up like a tomato that’s ready for picking. 

“I-I, um, I-I,” Yachi stutters. Her hands fly to her face and her eyes peek out through her fingers. “I-is, this real? Are you serious?”

Kiyoko laughs. “Of course I am. You’re very cute, Yachi.”

“I-I’m,” Yachi breathes out. “S-sorry, I just didn’t think, th-that you’d, um, ever consider me!”

Kiyoko pats her armrest and motions for Yachi to step around the desk so she can stand directly in front of Kiyoko. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Yachi.”

Yachi shakes her head, still red. “N-no, it’s j-just that, y-you’re this amazing boss that every guy and girl in the whole world is in love with, and I-I’m,” Yachi looks away, almost like she’s sad. “I’m just a secretary.”

Kiyoko sighs and against her better judgement, carefully pulls Yachi onto her lap. Yachi’s shoulders tremble and it isn’t long before the blonde bursts into tears. “Yachi, I understand where you’re coming from,” Kiyoko says. Yachi’s crying is quiet - almost silent. Kiyoko just pats her back as soothingly as she can and allows Yachi to lean into her shoulder. “But why do you see being a secretary as something to be ashamed of when it comes to me? Do you think lowly of Sugawara? Of Akaashi? Of Kenma?” 

Yachi shakes her head slowly but doesn’t respond. 

“See? You don’t think any less of them, so why would you say that about yourself?”

“I don’t know,” Yachi whispers. Her voice is stuffy. “I-I’ve always just been surrounded by people better than me. I-I’ve, um, never been chosen b-before.”

“Chosen?”

“U-um, like a date,” Yachi lets out a quiet squeal. “I’ve never dated anyone before.”

Kiyoko forces Yachi to pull her head back and she smiles when Yachi tries to turn her head away again. 

“You like, um, women, right?“ Kiyoko’s uncharacteristically nervous. 

“Y-yes. I do.”

“Then, if you agree to go on this date with me, and if you agree to go on  _ mpre _ dates with me, would I have the chance of becoming your first girlfriend?”

_ “Yes _ , _ ”  _ Yachi exhales. 

Kiyoko pushes a strand of stray hair out of Yachi’s face and tilts her head. “That’s perfect, then. Stay with me for a couple more minutes, won’t you? But don’t forget to take the box on your way out, it’s a gift from me to you.”

Yachi squirms. “O-oh, your legs must be tired! L-let me move, I’ll sit on the chair!”

Kiyoko lets out a hum and tightens her grip around Yachi’s wasit. 

“No, I don’t think you will.”

-

-

“We’re gathered here today,” Daichi says tiredly. “In remembrance of Pattycake.”

Iwaizumi shoves Daichi with his shoulder and mumbles something into his ear. 

Daichi clears his throat. “Sorry. Ricecake. My bad. Anyways. We’re here to grieve the passing of this beautiful goat -”

Again, Iwaizimi cuts him off and corrects him. Daichi lets out an annoyed huff but fixes himself. “Oops. Llama. Ricecake the llama. We’re here to celebrate Ricecake the llama, who unfortunately passed due to a tractor incident. Oh, jeez, is that real?”

Oikawa glares as he watches Iwaizumi and Daichi fumble his memorial. 

“Don’t ask me,” Iwaizumi holds up his hands. “Just read what it says, dude.”

“Alright,” Kiyoko claps her hands and the cafeteria turns to look at her. “I think we get the point. Ricecake was a lovely llama and I know Oikawa truly did love him. We’ll take this short break to think about his fruitful, albeit short, life.”

Oikawa pats his wet cheeks and sniffles towards the audience (no, they weren’t forced to gather, what do you mean?) and sighs longingly. “My heart is truly broken. Thank you all for coming. Please enjoy the refreshments.”

Oikawa continues his crying and accepts the condolences he gets but his facade is broken the minute Kuroo comes up to pat him on the back. 

“Nice job, Oiks,” Kuroo whispers as he pulls Oikawa in for a hug (that’s obviously just for show). 

Oikawa wipes his face on Kuroo’s shoulder and grins. “Well, I  _ am _ a star actor, after all.”

Kuroo rolls his eyes and pulls away. “Keep crying, there’s a whole line that you need to hug.”

“Ugh,” Oikawa bats his wet lashes and wills a couple more teas to appear. “This should do it, right?”

Kuroo snickers. “Yeah, that’ll do it.”

Operation Get Out Of Work?

Success. 

-

-

“What’s going on?”

Tendou looks from his phone and stares at Terushima. “Hmm?”

Terushima leans in conspiratorially and points to the door. “Daichi-san’s calling people one by one into his office, but I haven’t heard why. Do you know?”

Tendou feels a shiver run down his spine. “Not sure, but if you hear anything, let me know, okay?”

“Got it!”

Terushima bounces away and Tendou can’t focus on his game anymore. God, it’s too early in the morning for this.

_ What the hell is going  _ -

His train of thought is cut short when his name is called. 

“Tendou, could you come down with me?”

Tendou rolls out of his chair and smiles cheekily, the way he always does. “Of course, Daichi,” Tendou swoons. “Anything for you.”

Daichi ignores Tendou’s chatter and leads him down the hall into a little office space meant for small meetings. “You can take a seat, Tendou. This isn’t anything bad, but I need you to answer honestly. Okay?”

Tendou pats his thighs and keeps his eyes wide. “Of course. What’s going on?”

Daichi looks down at his clipboard and scribbles something down. 

“Lately, have you received any,” Daichi pauses before starting again. “Strange emails? Or even messages and letters from strange senders?”

Tendou paints shock onto his face. “No, not that I can think of. Did something happen?”

“No, no,” Daichi bites his bottom lip before looking at Tendou again. “It’s just that, some people have been finding bugs on their laptops or strange ads. Things like that. Have you heard of anyone mention something about unwanted emails? Especially from, uh, outside sources?”

Tendou gives Daichi a polite smile. 

“No. Nothing of the sort.”

“Eh, that’s what I thought. Thanks. You can go, and can you tell Terushima to head down here?”

Tendou gets up and winces when his knee cracks. “Yeah, got it. See ya, Daichi!”

“Bye, Tendou.”

Tendou shuts the door behind him and feels his heart beat jump around in his throat. He played that off well, didn’t he?

Investigations. 

Corporate’s started investigating. 

_ Oikawa, what the fuck did you get yourself into? _

  
  
  
  
  


-

-

**Makeup/Beauty Advertisement Department**

**Employee 1: Oikawa Tooru**

**Important Facts: incredibly chipper, talks a lot, loves office drama. Basically he’s a walking recipe for disaster and is the classic gay gossip. Unfortunate title but it honestly fits him the best. He knows everyone and their mothers, and is involved with pretty much anything he wants to be. Popular with female clients and it’s a wonder to Tendou how he gets hit on so often when he’s so clearly - not into women. Could talk about Iwaizumi’s arms for days.**

**Employee 2: Tendou Satori**

**Important Facts: he’s probably the employee that no one expects to be working in this particular department, and his story of how he got hired is even weirder. Tendou’s story is that he put post it notes with different departments up on a wall and threw a dart at it, which happened to land on the makeup department’s. So he applied, got accepted, and now works in beauty for a living. He’s a strange character. Knows more than Oikawa, although no one really knows it. Slinks around the office gathering information on everyone. Genuinely funny.**

**Employee 3: Semi Eita**

**Important Facts: loves listening to music or podcasts while he works so he looks and feels busy. His hair is dyed routinely but it’s naturally black. He has piercings in his ear but he took them out once he started working. Sociable but has little tolerance for bullshit, which makes him better friends with those like Akaashi, Kenma, Yachi, Kiyoko, and Sakusa. He likes Shirabu and thought things were going well when all of a sudden he started pulling away. Hmm. Maybe Semi’ll get to the bottom of that.**

**Employee 4: Shirabu Kenjiro**

**Important Facts: the classic stickler. Hates when his own work isn’t immaculate and has a bit of a perfectionist streak going on. Loves lunch but he eats like a bird. Made good friends with Akaashi, Kenma, Tendou, Oikawa, Yahaba, Yamaguchi, and Komori. Ever since finding out that his crush for over a year has been married, he’s been kind of out of it. Kiyoko’s probably going to hand him his ass soon, though.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! thank you so much for the reads and the kudos. i’m grateful for you all 💓! also, i’ll probably change the update days to sunday. i just keep forgetting on saturdays lol. 
> 
> instagram: @kozuchaan


	7. episode seven: valentine’s day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late chapter, ao3 has been bugging out for me for the longest time and i finally managed to get it to work. it’s a late chapter but enjoy the valentine’s day special!

“You know, I can’t believe we’re getting half a day off for this!”

Ennoshita winces when Nishinoya yells pretty much directly into his ear, and gently moves his chair back to give his friend some room. 

“It’s cute,” Ennoshita sighs as he clicks on the email from corporate. He reads off the page out loud. “Have a happy valentine’s day, everyone. It is our pleasure to inform our dear workers that today will end at three o’clock. We deserve the break!”

Tanaka, who’s never far behind Nishinoya, clings onto the back of Ennoshita’s chair and leans his face over Ennoshita’s shoulder to peer at the email better. 

The close proximity sends Ennoshita’s heartbeat soaring, and he’s pretty sure his skin is starting to prickle. Nishinoya snorts. 

“That’s great!” Tanaka roars happily, whooping and jostling Ennoshita’s shoulders. “Except, it would probably be better if I got a girlfriend to celebrate it with.”

Ennoshita yelps when his chair is suddenly spun around, and Tanaka peers down while caging Ennoshita against the chair. 

“Do you need something?” Ennoshita whispers. 

Tanaka blinks. “Nah. But, Enno, you’re  _ objectively _ not that bad looking. How don’t you have a boyfriend yet?” Tanaka pushes the chair back and rests his arm on Nishinoya’s shoulders. “Seems like a waste.”

Nishinoya jabs Tanaka in the side. “Don’t say anything stupid. I’m going to go see if I can find Asahi, but I’ll be right back!”

Tanaka shrugs. “I didn’t tell a lie, though? I mean, you can cook, you’re nice, funny, and cute! It just - doesn’t make sense to me!”

Ennoshita purses his lips - there is genuinely no one as dense as Tanaka in the world (Hinata is a close second, though) and it pains Ennoshita that his crush has the critical thinking skills of a toddler. “Gay men aren’t just raining down the sky like -” Ennoshita clears his throat. “Rain, I guess. Anyways. Don’t you have a girl to be chasing down, or something?”

“I don’t think I have someone I like,” Tanaka drags his seat over and plops on down next to Ennoshita. “Maybe I’m just getting tired of my relationships getting nowhere.”

“Same goes for me,” Ennoshita says. 

Tanaka suddenly jostles. “Wait!”

“Yes?”

“I, uh,” Tanaka clears his throat and takes his phone out of his pocket. “I actually meant to ask you something, Enno.”

It isn’t much to go off of but Ennoshita’s pulse picks up. He feels it everywhere - his throat, his fingertips, his stomach.  _ What’re you getting your hopes up for? You know you aren’t ever going to get a confession out of him _

“You’re my best friend,” Tanaka starts. Ennoshita’s ear twitches. “And I don’t want to make you feel weird in any kind of way. You know that, right?”

_ Oh god _ . “Of course, Tanaka.”

“Okay. Well, it’s just that, remember Hirugami? From college? And how I was close with him?”

Ennoshita nods. He’s confused now, more than anything. 

“Well,” Tanaka continues. “He got into contact with me a couple days ago because he apparently saw you while you were grocery shopping.”

“Okay?” Ennoshita’s mouth is dry. Is there a point to this conversation?

“Well, he wanted to get your number. I think he’s interested in you, Enno! And I didn’t want it to feel like I was forcing you to start talking with him or anything, but if you aren’t with anyone right now, why don’t you give him a shot? He’d be a great boyfriend, you know, if it ever got to that point.”

Oh. 

_ Oh _ . 

So that’s what this was. 

A set up. 

Ennoshita feels his heart constrict and then shatter and then come back together, only to break again. 

“S-sure, Tanaka,” Ennoshita turns to face his computer so that Tanaka can’t see how his eyes are starting to get glassy. “Send me his number.”

“Okay! And if you aren’t doing anything later, we should go out for lunch to that place you like. You know, with the really good tempura -”

“Okay, Ryuu,” Ennoshita blinks. “Just text me.”

Tanaka seems to pick up on the sudden drop in mood so he rolls his chair back. “Got it! Let me know if you need anything!”

A couple seconds later, Ennoshita gets a text. 

  
  


_ Unknown Sender: hey, this is hirugami sachiro, tanaka’s friend? _

_ Unknown Sender: sorry for the sudden message, but he gave me your number and the go-ahead that you were interested? _

  
  


Ennoshita stares at the screen for a couple of moments before mustering up the courage to respond. 

_ Ennoshita: oh, hello! _ _   
  
_

_ Ennoshita: yeah, i’m interested :)  _

_ Unknown Sender: great  _ 🤭

-

-

_ Hey Kenma, we have the day off, isn’t that great? Oh, if you aren’t doing anything later, let’s get dinner! Like a date. Well, not like. As. As a date.  _

__ No, that’s stupid.

_ Hey Kenma, I like you. And, well, I really hope you like me back, otherwise this would be pretty awkward, um, so anyways. How about dinner? Sometime? Today, maybe? _

Even more of a  _ no _ than the first option _. _

__ _ Hey baby. You, me, dinner, eight o’clock. How about it? _

Kenma would probably bite his face off, and not in the hot,  _ I-need-you-now _ kind of way. 

Kuroo stares at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Trying to hype himself up to ask Kenma out is harder than he thought, but he doesn’t want to confer with Bokuto because he’s in his second week over moping about how Akaashi keeps canceling their plans. Telling his best friend that  _ maybe _ , just  _ maybe _ , Akaashi doesn’t want to work out at the ass-crack of dawn each morning  _ hadn’t _ been as helpful as he had hoped, so Kuroo’s by himself. 

He splashes his face off with water one more time before ripping off a strand of paper towels to dry himself with. The flowers he had gotten lie on the counter besides the sink, obnoxiously red but very pretty. 

“You got this,” Kuroo mutters to himself. “Just ask him. He likes you. That’s what everyone says, and, well, they can’t all be lying.”

Right?

Right.

He grabs the flowers and makes his way to the secretary’s office, which is actually pretty embarrassing with the amount of people he runs into. They give him knowing smirks and surprised glances, making all too obvious that he clearly didn’t keep his crush well-hidden. 

“Hey Akaashi,” Kuroo says once he gets to the office. Akaashi’s the only one there, typing away at his desk like it’s the last day on earth. “Do you know where Kenma is?”

Akaashi glances at the flowers in Kuroo’s hand and gives him a small smile, but he looks confused. “Uh, he’s home right now, actually. He couldn’t make it because he had one of his migraines; you know how bad they get. Sorry, Kuroo.”

“No, it’s no biggie,” Kuroo sighs and heads over to Kenma’s desk. Maybe he can leave the flowers on it and - hold on. 

“Akaashi?” Kuroo breathes. The flowers in his hand drop to the floor with a thump. 

“Yeah?”

“What’s this?”

Akaashi gives him a look. “I can’t see what you’re - oh.”

Kuroo’s hand shakes while he picks up the piece of paper that had caught his eye. 

_ Transfer Request Form _ .

“He’s transferring?” Kuroo breathes out, voice barely over a whisper. “It - it says he’s planning on moving to the Hokkaido branch.”

“That’s,” Akaashi stops typing and slides his glasses off. “Very far.”

“It’ll take almost a full day to get there.”

“Yes.”

“Why’s he moving?”

Akaashi frowns. “I don’t know.”

“I gotta go.”

“Kuroo,” Akaashi lets out as Kuroo grabs the flowers off the ground. “Don’t do anything stupid!”

Kuroo’s already running out the door. 

“Too late, ‘Kaashi!”

-

-

All Tendou wanted was a hot cup of coffee to try and alleviate the headache pounding away in his skull, but of course he runs into the one person he’s been trying to avoid for the last couple of weeks. 

“Hello, Tendou,” Ushijima says politely from his seat at one of the break room’s tables. “It’s been quite a while since I last saw you.”

“Ah, yeah,” Tendou pours some water into the kettle and sets it on the electric heater. “It has, hasn’t it? That’s my fault, Wakatoshi-kun.”

“Do you have any plans for tonight?” Ushijima flips a page in his book. 

Tendou gets a cup out. “No, not tonight.”

The room falls into silence and Tendou starts to sweat as the kettle heats up - did this thing always take forever?

Another minute of absolute quiet passes before the break room opens. 

“Oh, hello! Ushijima-san, Tendou-san!”

Ushijima offers the woman nothing but a tiny nod of his head. Tendou waves. 

“Hey, Touma-chan,” Tendou says in a sing-songy voice. 

Touma giggles. “So, Tendou-san, how’s the boyfriend?”

Tendou tilts his head as he pours the instant coffee beans and sugar into his cup. “What boyfriend?”

She gives Tendou a small nudge on the arm, and Tendou just gives her a nudge back. Did this lady break her head or something? 

“You know, the one you were seeing? Unless, I’m so sorry, did things end already?”

Tendou laughs as he pours his water into the cup. “I never had one to start with.”

“O-oh,” Touma grabs a water bottle from the fridge. “Well, I must’ve heard something wrong. I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s no problem,” Tendou leans against the counter and watches Touma open the door again. “Bye, Touma-chan!”

“See ya!”

Tendou laughs to himself again and carefully blows across the top to his coffee - all black, just the way he likes it. 

“Satori,” Ushijima’s deep voice startles the everlasting fuck out of Tendou, but he catches himself. “Why did you lie to her? Or was it me that you deceived?”

Tendou blinks. “What?”

“You said,” Ushijima slams his book shut. “That you couldn’t be with me, because you were with someone else.”

Fuck. 

_ Fuck _ .

Tendou completely forgot about his lie. 

“I -”

“No need,” Ushijima gets up. “I’m sorry that you hated the idea of being with me that much, Satori. I’ll leave you alone from now on. Thank you for being my friend, but I’m afraid I’ll probably end relations with you now.”

Tendou grips his cup and his palms are scalding. 

Fuck.

-

-

  
  


Yahaba wrings his hands out while he waits for Tsukishima by the closed staircase, trying to anticipate how their conservation will go. 

He had asked the junior to meet with him in private, with the plans to confess and somehow leave with a date. 

But Yahaba isn’t stupid. 

He knows, deep down, that there’s something going on with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. It had hurt, at first, but for some reason? Yahaba feels like he’s doing this confession to prove something, rather than because he genuinely feels the need to. 

“Yahaba-san?”

Yahaba blinks and realizes that Tsukishima’s already in front of him. “O-oh, hey, Tsukishima. You made it.”

“I hope I’m not too late.”

Yahaba just gives Tsukishima a tight smile and pats the step he’s sitting on, and Tsukishima sits down with a small grunt. 

“So,” Yahaba sighs. He stops fidgeting with his hands. “I think you know what I called you down here for.”

Tsukishima doesn’t respond for a while. 

“Probably, Yahaba-san.”

“I like you.”

Tsukishima drops his head, like his suspicions are now confirmed. “I’m sorry. I won't be able to return your feelings.”

Yahaba feels a sense of defeat flood his chest. But. 

It doesn’t feel horrible. 

“I figured,” Yahaba says quietly. He stares intently at his shoes, thinking that he should clean them soon. “So it doesn’t feel that bad, I guess. But can I ask you something?”

“Yes, please do.”

“You’re in love with Yamaguchi, aren’t you?”

A smile blossoms across Tsukishima’s face and it’s  _ gentle _ . It’s real. 

It’s pure. 

“I do,” Tsukishima says. “We’ve been together for - god, I don’t even know. Seven years now, if you can believe it?”

Yahaba whistles. He had suspected them being in a relationship but  _ seven _ years? It’s unexpected. “How’d it happen?”

Tsukishima leans his head against the railing and his eyes grow foggy, like he’s reminiscing in an old memory. He probably is. “Met him when I was eight and he became my best friend. He started out as some scrawny little crybaby that would leave my side and turned out to be someone more important to me than myself. I confessed when we were sixteen because I was sick of others getting to him first, and we’ve stuck ever since.”

Yahaba laughs when he realizes he legitimately doesn’t have a single shred of jealousy in his body. “That’s a long time. Must’ve been fun, growing up together. What was that like?”

Tsukishima’s voice sobers up quickly. “Wasn’t all fun and games. You know, my mother found out I was gay when we were eighteen. And she kicked me out of the house if I didn’t break up with Yamaguchi and repent. I couldn’t do it - I had never broken a fucking rule in my life but for  _ him _ , I couldn’t do it. So as soon as I got into college I ran away from home. Yamaguchi followed me. And we’re still here. So now I live for him, because he left his own life behind for me. That’s what it’s like.”

Yahaba closes his eyes. “Thank you, Tsukishima, for not being mean about this. I’m sorry to have bothered you at work. But at least now you can tell Yamaguchi to stop staring daggers into me at work.”

Tsukishima nods. “Right. And maybe you can stop Kyoutani-san, you know. Before he confesses to someone else and all.”

Yahaba doesn’t get it. 

“He’s  _ what _ ?”

-

-

“Wasn’t that cashier just a bit  _ too _ nice to me, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa giggles and shoves his coffee right into Iwaizumi’s face, so he can take in the full glory of a  _ heart _ , drawn right underneath his name. “She’s brave, don’t you think? Poor girl thinks she could’ve had a chance,  _ even _ if we weren’t together.”

Iwaizumi’s brow quirks and he takes a sip of his own drink. “Couldn’t it just have been because today’s Valentine’s day?”

Oikawa narrows his eyes - his ploy for trying to get his boyfriend jealous isn’t  _ working _ , which is wholly unfair because  _ shouldn’t he be _ ? (Not that- that not Oikawa likes to be  _ mean _ , on purpose, or anything. It’s just that. It  _ would _ be kind of fun to see Iwaizumi jealous once in a while, right? No. He’s not wrong for this.)

“No, it  _ wasn’t _ ,” Oikawa huffs. The frosty air around them is causing Oikawa’s breath to come out in puffs, and he watches with little amusement as Iwaizumi laughs. “She thought I was cute, probably. Most definitely.”

Iwaizumi just takes Oikawa’s hand and puts it in his pocket, before resuming their walk. The two of them are going through a park back to Iwaizumi’s place, with the day off and all. “Sure, but did she give you her number?”

“No, she didn’t give me her number -” Oikawa stops short when he sees writing on the side of Iwaizumi’s cup. “What’s that?”

Iwaizumi turns his cup and smiles. “Huh.”

“Those are numbers,” Oikawa lets out. 

“Ten of them, it seems.”

“Ten numbers,” Oikawa reaches over and shoves Iwaizumi’s fingers down. “And a name.”

“Seems to be that way.”

This isn’t how it was supposed to go, no, it  _ wasn’t _ , at all. 

“She gave you her number.”

“Apparently.”

Oikawa’s eye starts to bug out. “Throw it out.”

“No, why would I?”

“So you’re going to use it?” Oikawa can feel the irrationality start to hit, but for fuck’s sake, his  _ boyfriend _ is ohlding some ugly bitch’s fucking phone number in hand and he  _ isn’t _ throwing it out. “It’s just the sleeve. Throw it out!”

“The drink’s too hot!”

“You know what? I’ll just make you another coffee.”

Oikawa doesn’t know why he always gets like this when he’s in a relationship - he starts out with jokes to try and rile the other person up, but he’s always the one who ends up eating shit. It doesn’t help that he  _ genuinely _ is in love with Iwaizumi, and the fact that others want him drives him up a wall. 

He takes the cup from Iwaizumi’s hand and promptly throws it in the trash, along with his own. He suddenly detests the idea of having a drink made by someone who tried to flirt with Iwaizumi. 

“Oikawa!” Iwaizumi shouts. Oikawa just tears his hand away and turns his head to the side, letting out a  _ hmph _ as he pettily refuses to look at his boyfriend. “Oikawa. C’mon, what the hell was that?”

Oikawa feels the thickness in his own voice start to appear, which is embarrassing but if Iwaizumi  _ needs _ to know, then so be it. “S-she! She tried to flirt with you!”

“Did I do anything  _ back _ ?”

“N-no, but the cup!”

“What about the cup!”

“I don’t know!” Oikawa screams, stomping his foot on the ground like a child. “I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m this mad, okay? It’s just that -  _ every _ single boyfriend I’ve had just ends up leaving me, for  _ some girl _ . For  _ some woman _ that flirted just a bit too hard. You know, I don’t even know if you’re actually gay? So for all I know, I’m just a stepping stone until you meet your  _ wife _ . Sorry if I get bitchy because of that!”

“I’m gay.”

Oikawa storms off. “ _ That’s  _ what you got from that?”

“You threw my coffee into the trash!”

“I didn’t -” Oikawa groans when a tear slips down his face. “I’m sorry about that, okay? God, I’ll buy you a new one or -”

“Why don’t we finish this conversation at home,” Iwaizumi sighs and takes hold of Oikawa’s hand again once he catches up. “You big cry baby.”

“I’m not,” Oikawa mumbles as he, in fact, starts crying. 

-

-

Sakusa doesn’t have anything planned for the rest of the day, which means he makes it home with some groceries and food for Kumi, his cat, in hand. 

He puts everything away once he gets back, sighing contentedly as Kumi laps away at his fresh bowl of water. It’s strange. He despises the thought of  _ dirtiness _ in general, but Kumi’s an exception. 

Maybe it’s the human aspect he hates. 

Either way, Kumi is his, and Sakusa doesn’t mind. 

He sits down in front of the television, wondering if he should start a documentary or a true crime series tonight. He settles on the documentary, considering the fact that even though he doesn’t care about Valentine’s day, he still doesn’t want to watch a story about murder and horror for it. 

He’s about to start the show when his phone rings with a text message. 

_ Atsumu: im sorry if im bothering you, but could you help me with something? _

Sakusa can’t help but smile - Atsumu’s really been taking advantage of the fact that they have each other’s phone numbers lately. 

_ Sakusa: sure, what’s up? _

_ Atsumu: i can’t pick which outfit to wear tonight :( _

_ Sakusa: going out? _

_ Atsumu: yeah, my date’s going to be here in an hour and im still not dressed! _

Sakusa nearly drops his phone. 

Date?

_ It’s Valentine’s day, idiot _ , Sakusa grips his phone and coughs. He shouldn’t be surprised at the fact that someone’s already picked Atsumu - in fact, it would be weirder if no one did. 

_ Sakusa: send the pictures _ .

It takes a couple of minutes, but Atsumu sends him two separate images of him dressed in each outfit, smiling into the screen for one of them and overexaggerating a pose in the next. 

Sakusa runs his thumb over the screen. 

_ It was your own damn fault _ , Sakusa tells himself.  _ You were the one who turned him down.  _

The first outfit is on the simpler side. A white sweater, paired with jeans and a black belt. The second one is a black turtleneck underneath a grey knit top, with neat black slacks that make Atsumu’s legs look a mile long. 

Sakusa can’t stop staring at the second one. 

_ Sakusa: first one’s cuter _ .

He hates the idea of someone else looking at Atsumu in the outfit  _ he  _ likes. So. 

_ Atsumu: really? _

_ Sakusa: yeah. it’s more casual, too. _

_ Atsumu: oh no, the restaurant he’s taking me to is kind of fancy. should i go with the second one? _

_ Sakusa: then yeah, if it’s fancy. _

_ Atsumu: you’re a lifesaver.  _

_ Atsumu: thank you! _

Sakusa drops his phone and leans back, making room for Kumi on his lap. 

Love fucking sucks. 

-

-

Iwaizumi has no idea how to start the conversation, to be honest. 

Oikawa’s always been slightly petty, even before they got together. So this type of childish behavior isn’t exactly  _ unprecedented _ , but Iwaizumi knows he can’t just let it slide. 

“Are you gonna come in?” Iwaizumi drops himself on the couch and tosses his keys onto his coffee table before turning to face Oikawa, who’s still glued to the foyer. “I mean, I don’t mind talking to you from there but it’ll just be annoying.”

Oikawa sniffles. “I’m scared.”

“Of?”

“Please don’t break up with me,” Oikawa ignores Iwaizumi’s question, but somehow answers it all the same. “I’m sorry. I was wrong.”

Iwaizumi snorts and pats the seat beside him. “Are you my kid? Come here so we can talk like two normal adults. And I’m not breaking up with you, the hell is up with that?”

Oikawa silently shuffles his way over to Iwaizumi and gingerly sits himself down, letting out a whine when he hits the cushion. “Iwa-chan, I swear, I didn’t mean to -”

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes and tugs Oikawa forward so that he’s got his boyfriend seated on his lap, which is always great. Iwaizumi places his forehead on Oikawa’s chest and sighs. 

“Why do you always do that?” Iwaizumi wraps his arms around Oikawa’s waist. “Every time.  _ Every _ fucking time you do something that you think is annoying, you just automatically think I’m going to break up with you. I’m not breaking up with you, even if you beg for it, so just. Stop it with that.”

“Sorry,” Oikawa whispers. Oikawa drops his head into the crook of Iwaizumi’s neck. “It’s just that - everyone thinks I’m annoying, I know it. I’ve never had a long relationship, you know that. They always end up leaving me. I’m annoying. And childish. And it’s  _ worse _ with you, because I actually  _ love _ you, and I don’t want you to think I’m any of those things. I’m sorry about the coffee, it’s just that, when I thought of someone else trying to get with you, it just makes me realize that you might actually leave one day and I’ll have lost someone again.”

“That still doesn’t make what you did okay, but Oikawa, you can’t keep clinging to your past like that. Stop worrying about what  _ I _ think, okay? It’s never going to be something bad, if it’s something about you. Who cares what those assholes had to say? I should thank them, for letting me finally fucking have you. Just. I  _ know _ it’s going to get some taking used to, but can you try for me? To think before you act, because I’m not  _ like _ those guys? I would never do anything to make you feel insecure or worried, and if I do, just call me out on my bullshit as soon as it happens. That’s what this is. That’s what a relationship is. Shit happens. But don’t hold back and then blow up about it later.”

“In my defense,” Oikawa mummers. Iwaizumi lets out a groan and playfully hits Oikawa’s back. “She  _ was _ mildly pretty. So the chances of you running away with her were slim, but there.”

Iwaizumi grabs Oikawa’s face with a hand and squeezes his cheeks together, laughing when Oikawa’s face puffs out. “But was she as pretty as you?”

Oikawa shoves his chest out proudly. “ _ Oph courshe not _ !”

“See? There you go.”

Iwaizumi lets go and Oikawa falls onto his lap again. “I’m sorry, Iwa-chan. I’ll really try to get better.”

Iwaizumi tugs Oikawa’s face in for a quick kiss. “There’s my Tooru.”

Oikawa nods and places his ear right on Iwaizumi’s chest, just like he always does when he recovers from a fight. 

“There’s your Tooru.”

-

-

Kenma wants to kill his door. 

Actually, that doesn’t make sense. 

Kenma wants to kill whoever’s banging on his door and ringing the doorbell like the apocalypse is at their fucking feet and Kenma’s apartment is the last safe haven on earth. 

“I’m coming!” Kenma snaps from the couch, even though no one can hear him. “Fucking fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck f-”

Kenma swings the door open, nearly slamming it right on Kuroo’s face -

The one person he didn’t want to see today. 

“Hey, Kenma,” Kuroo breathes out like he just ran a marathon. “Heard you were sick. Can I come in?”

Kuroo doesn’t wait for an answer, just pushes past Kenma and into the living room. Kenma tightens the blanket around himself. 

“What do you need?”

“We have to talk.”

Kenma groans and heads back to the couch, where he set up camp for the day. (By camp, he means his bottle of Advil, the TV remote, his switch, and a stuffed animal that’s so frayed he can’t exactly tell  _ what _ it is.) “ _ You _ have to talk,  _ I  _ need to get back to my show. There’s something riveting happening.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“I don’t  _ know _ , I didn’t  _ watch _ it yet.”

“Kenma.”

The sofa shifts and Kenma frowns when he realizes that Kuroo is sitting by him. 

“Yes, Kuroo?”

“Are you really transferring? I saw the papers on your desk.”

_ Damn it _ , Kenma turns around and looks at Kuroo.  _ I forgot to move them.  _

“Probably.”

“Don’t.”

Kuroo stares so earnestly, that Kenma’s resolve breaks. Yeah, yeah. He’s weak. No surprise there.

It’s actually kind of sad, though, how fast Kenma shatters underneath the pressure of Kuroo’s doe-eyed pleading. 

A single look is enough to throw at least a month’s worth of planning away, how sad is that?

Very. 

“I probably won’t,” Kenma huffs. Fuck. Fuck Kuroo for having so much power over him. Fuck love. “I don’t know. I don’t even know what you care so much for.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not losing me,” Kenma reaches for his TV remote and shuts the television off - the voices in the background start to cause his ears to ring. “Anyways. Do you need something else? I’m going to try to sleep now.”

Kuroo sighs and slaps his thighs as he stands up. “Alright, you do that. Do you mind if I clean up the kitchen table so I can make dinner for you?”

“I don’t have a lot of ingredients.”

“I brought enough for porridge.”

“We’re Mr. Prepared today, aren’t we?”

“Oh, shut up.”

Kenma smiles. 

Their banter is always fun.

“Just take a small nap, Kenma. And you don’t mind me throwing some junk out, right? I saw that the table was pretty cluttered.”

“As long as they aren’t bills, then yeah. Thanks.”

Kenma doesn’t fall asleep at all, feeling strange about how Kuroo’s currently  _ cleaning _ for him. It’s domestic. It’s  _ nice _ , but it’s domestic. Maybe Kenma should’ve said no. 

He keeps crossing the boundaries that he sets for Kuroo, and then ends up getting upset when things don't go his way. 

_ I can’t just keep setting myself up for failure. At one point, he’s going to date someone he loves and I’m the only one who’s going to end up hurt if I keep letting him into my space _ . 

_ I mean, I even went as far as to do what Akaashi told me to do, even though it was stu- _

Kenma sits up with a jolt. 

No.

No. 

No, no, no, no,  _ no _ .

No. 

Fuck. 

Kenma scrambles into the kitchen screaming bloody murder, nearly falling over the blanket that’s twisted around him twice. 

“ _ No! _ ” Kenma shrieks. His voice is so bloodcurdling that he nearly scares himself. 

He’s too late - 

Kuroo’s already reading the letters. 

Kuroo tears his eyes away from the paper he’s holding so slowly that it’s almost comical, and Kenma feels his heart stutter when their eyes meet. 

“Are these real?”

Kuroo’s voice is barely above a whisper.

Kenma wants to rip the page out of Kuroo’s hand, but he’s frozen. Instead, he chooses to let a tear slip down his face as he shakes his head  _ no _ , this is all just a big fat nightmare. A joke. Nothing to worry about. 

“ _ Dear Kuroo, hey, I love you. I’ve been meaning to say it for the past five years, but I never knew how. Akaashi told me to write my feelings out, so here I am. It’s not really working, though. So. _ ”

Kuroo drops the page and picks up the next. 

Kenma’s still frozen in place _. _

__ _ “Hey Kuroo, you have a pretty face. By the way, I love you so much that it feels suffocating. And I want to leave. Get out of here. Just. I want to forget you, that’s how much I love you. I’m sorry. For loving you _ . _ ” _

__ Another page falls to the ground _.  _

__ _ “Hey Kuroo, do you love me back? I wish you did. Because fuck, I love you _ . _ ” _

__

__ “Stop,” Kenma’s voice breaks. “Please.  _ Please _ , I’m sorry about those, stop,  _ stop it _ , Kuroo. I didn’t mean for you to find those, so p-”

Kuroo storms over the table and grabs Kenma’s wrist. “Is it true?”

Kenma’s sobbing, at this point, trying desperately to keep the last of his sanity together. “N-no, it’s not, I swear -”

This time, Kenma’s cut off by a kiss. 

It takes a moment to register, but once it does, Kenma can feel the pressure of Kuroo’s lips on his own, isessant and warm and kind of sloppy but fucking  _ desperate _ , and Kenma starts to kiss back. 

_ This isn’t happening,  _ Kenma’s brain screams. The alarms are ringing and the bells are off their hooks.  _ This isn’t real.  _

The two of them eventually pull away for air, but Kenma’s lips are bruised and hot and his hands are all over Kuroo’s shoulder somehow, and there’s a hand buried in Kenma’s hair and their bodies are too close but  _ god _ , they should be closer -

“I’m giving you one last chance, Kenma,” Kuroo’s breath his right on top of Kenma’s as they pant together. “Fuck.  _ Fuck.  _ You can’t be lying, right? You love me, right?”

Kenma shakes his head. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” Kuroo laughs breathlessly. “ _ Fuck _ , I’m  _ not _ , Kenma, fuck! I love you, I love you, I love you! I love you!”

Kenma whimpers. 

“I love you, too.”

Kuroo laughs. 

And then, they kiss again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another couple yayayay !!
> 
> ig: @kozuchaan


	8. episode eight: best friends

“How many seconds of cuddling do you think we can get in before the silence gets ruined?”

Aran laughs at Kita’s questions and presses a small kiss onto his boyfriend’s forehead, and tightens his hug around him. He sighs when the smell of Kita’s cologne hits him - something a bit woodsy, but clean. “I say we have about thirty on the clock before someone barges in.”

Kita sighs and lets out a small whine into Aran’s chest before pulling back and slapping himself across the face lightly. “I refuse to be tired out by a bunch of bratty twenty-something year-olds who think they know what they’re doing.”

Aran clicks his tongue in disapproval and nudges his thumb against Kita’s cheek, currently flushed with a hand-shaped bloom of red growing across it. “Don’t hit yourself, Kita.”

“I’m just trying to wake myself up!“

“Then drink a coffee.”

Kita rolls his eyes but mumbles out an apology. “Can you check on Osamu when you get down to your department? He’s been acting weird lately, Ojiro, I can feel something’s up. My senses are tingling.”

“You sure that’s not your face?”

Kita crosses his arms and glares. “Ha, ha. You just lost the last ten seconds of your cuddle.”

“You wound me, Shinsuke.”

“Shut up. And make sure Osamu’s okay, got it?”

Aran likes doting on his juniors just as much as Kita does, to be honest, but he won’t miss a chance to get rewarded. “If I see that he’s fine, you owe me at  _ least _ a million fucking kisses tonight.”

The kettle goes off, signaling that their coffee water is ready. 

“ _ One  _ cuddle, take it or leave it.”

-

-

  
  
  


“We’re dating!”

Kenma freezes in the middle of handing Ushijima some documents, and if there was one word to describe him, it would be  _ mortified _ . 

“We’re dating, I’m dating him,  _ I’m _ , me,  _ me _ , the  _ Kuroo Tetsurou _ , is dating Kenma! Hands off, got it? Keep those stupidly long fingers to yourself, Ushi! Me! I’m dating him! Aha!”

Kuroo continues to spin around the pharmaceutical department’s floor, cackling like a madman as he drones on and on about his conquest. Kenma blanches and Futakuchi snickers. 

“So, it finally happened, huh?” 

Kenma kicks the back of Sakusa’s chair when he hears the mumbling leave his mouth. “Shut the  _ fuck _ up, Sakusa, as if you aren’t trying to turn yourself into Atsumu’s whore right now.”

Sakusa shoves his chair back, sending Kenma’s leg spiralling outwards. “I’m never talking to you again.”

“Good, that’s what I wanted.”

“Good, because that’s what  _ I _ wanted.”

“Kenma,” Ushijima interrupts. “The documents?”

Kenma shoves them into Ushijima’s chest (which is unnecessarily firm). 

“You’re  _ blushing _ ,” Futakuchi gives Kenma an extremely shit-eating grin and narrows his eyes. “Look at you, all red.”

Kenma tucks a strand of hair behind his ear and bats his lashes. “I’m the one with the boyfriend, right? Good luck with Aone, by the way. That’s going well, right?”

Futakuchi drops his pen, cheeks flaming with embarrassment. “I hate you.”

“Ditto!”

-

-

  
  


“So, how was your talk with Tsukishima? Can I call you a taken man now?”

Kyoutani feels a bitter taste fill his mouth when the words leave his mouth, but Yahaba hadn’t given him any updates after declaring that he would indeed confess on Valentine’s Day. In all honesty, it’s pretty obvious that Yahaba was rejected, because Kyoutani knows his friend too well and his friend would  _ not _ have been able to shut up if he had succeeded. 

He just needs to confirm it with his own ears. 

“What do you think, asshole,” Yahaba mutters over his lunch. A blob of rice falls from his chopsticks and a heavy sigh leaves his mouth when it hits his plate. “I was right. He’s in a secret relationship with Yamaguchi.”

“Damn,” Kyoutani can’t help but to let out a low whistle. He’s suddenly  _ starving _ . “I can’t even think of something to say, Yahaba. Fuck. I’m sorry.”

“Let’s stop talking about it,” Yahaba grumbles. “Moving on. What’s going on with you and Kogane? Any improvement?”

Kyoutani doesn’t really know where Yahaba got the idea that his crush is  _ Kogane, _ out of all people, but he can’t figure out a way to admit it. Yahaba just - 

He just gets so  _ excited _ , when he thinks he’s helping Kyoutani. 

“It’s going.”

“ _ And? _ ”

Yahaba has his shoulders tensed up in anticipation, eyes wide like he’s about to hear the best secret in the world. 

_ Just play along, idiot. You’re the one who didn’t correct him the first time he thought it was Kogane _ . 

“Well. It’s going well. I just might have to ask him out soon.”

The mental image of him attempting to go on a date with Kogane brings a smile to his lips - the kid’s just that. A  _ kid _ . It would just be a whole lot of awkward interactions and polite smiles, probably. If Kyoutani could get himself to smile in the first place. 

“How?”

“How what?”

Yahaba blinks. “How are you going to  _ ask him out _ , Kyoutani, are you even listening?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t really think about it.”

“Well, you gotta be romantic, whatever you do. Like, flowers! Get the pink ones, oh, those are so  _ pretty _ , you know? And you can’t go wrong with a box of chocolates. Get the truffles if they have it in store, got it? And - and, uh, maybe like, a cute little gift that has to do with an inside joke you two have?”

“You’re quite the dreamer, aren’t you?”

“I  _ am _ a hopeless romantic, after all. It sucks to be me, I guess. Such high standards and no one to meet them.”

Kyoutani laughs with a shake of his head. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Oh, shut up. You love it.”

_ Yeah. I do _ .

“Eat your lunch, Yahaba. It’s gonna get cold.”

“Yes, sir!”

-

-

Hinata can’t seem to focus on work. 

Wait. 

Let’s rephrase that. 

Hinata can’t seem to focus on work as much as he  _ could be _ , which isn't really a whole lot more, but it would still be something, so. 

Ever since he found out that Kageyama was Ukai’s, the freaking  _ CEO _ of the company, his mind just hasn’t stopped running. 

_ Did they know each other before, is that how Kageyama landed the job? _

__ _ What if it’s not mutual, what if Kageyama’s being forced to go along with Ukai’s whims because he’s rich! _

__ _ He’s not being threatened, is he? In the bathroom, he made it sound like Ukai was making him go to dinner! That’s not good, is it? _

__ _ But I swear Ukai has a lover already! The man with the glasses! Could he be cheating? Or maybe he just has too many boyfriends to care? _

__ _ What if Kageyama really needs my help?  _

__ _ Should I help him? _

__ _ I know we just became friends a couple months ago, but still! I think I could help! _

__ _ Okay, if the worst thing happens and Kageyama loses his money, he could stay in my apartment for a little bit!  _

__ _ It’s fine, Kageyama’s going to be okay! _

__ _ Got it.  _

__ _ Plan Bust-Kageyama-Out is a go! _

Hinata purses his lips together and saves his document before hopping out of his chair. He’s made up his mind for sure now. 

He’s going to help Kageyama out of this situation. 

“Hey, Kageyama?” Hinata taps on Kageyama’s shoulder and holds his breath. 

Kageyama turns around with a small grunt. “What do you want, loser?”

“Uh, I need to talk to you. In private?”

Kageyama flushes. “A-about what, idiot?”

Hinata’s heart sinks. Kageyama’s so red already, he must’ve been feeling unsafe for so long! 

_ Don’t worry Kageyama, I’m coming to your rescue! _

“Um, I’ll tell you when we’re alone. Can we go to the staircase right now?”

Kageyama stutters again. “F-fine, but hurry up, I need to fill out a spreadsheet.”

“Okay!”

Hinata quickly leads the way out of the office, waving to a passing Yachi and sticking his tongue out at Tsukishima. (In Hinata’s defense, he could’ve  _ sworn _ that Tsukishima had just given him the finger.)

“What do you need?” Kageyama says boredly once they reach the staircase. Hinata whips his head around to make sure that it’s empty. “C’mon, you’re acting weirder than you already are!”

“O-okay, Kageyama, but listen first, got it?” Hinata can’t help but to fidget around with his fingers. “Um, promise, okay?”

“Oh my  _ god _ , I promise. Hurry up!“

“S-stop rushing me!” Hinata pats his hair down and feels his palms start to pool with sweat. “Listen, you know, there’s sometimes situations where we need help from others, right? S-so, like, uh, what I’m  _ saying _ , is that, um, if you’re in a sticky situation right now, I’m available! To help you!”

“Uh, thanks?”

Kageyama stands there awkwardly, hands hanging loosely at his sides and shoulders hunched over. He looks confused, rather than mad, or even  _ relieved _ , like Hinata had expected. Huh. That’s weird. 

“No, Kageyama, I’m saying,” Hinata stands on the tips of his toes and leans in close to Kageyama’s ears. He even goes as far as to cup a hand around his mouth, to really create the secretive vibe he’s going for. “I  _ know _ . About you and Ukai-san. So it’s okay. I can help you.”

Kageyama shoves Hinata against the wall within a second, a single arm caging Hianta’s head in. 

Hinata gulps. 

Kageyama’s eyes are flaming. 

“How’d you find out? Are you  _ snooping _ through my life?”

“W-what? No! I just heard him threatening you in the bathroom, that’s all! Look, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but you guys were right there!”

“Threatening me?” Kageyama’s grip on the collar of Hinata’s shirt tightens. “What the hell are you talking about!”

Hinata really might piss his pants - he didn’t think Kageyama would get so  _ angry _ , for crying out loud!

“I know that Ukai-san is forcing you to be his boyfriend! And I’m here to help you if you -”

“ _ Boyfriend _ ?” Kageyama removes his hand and stumbles backwards, like he’s been shot. “What the hell is wrong with you, bastard? Why would my uncle force me to be his boyfriend!”

Hinata’s knees, which had been shaking like dead leaves in a storm, buckle. 

He has to physically force himself to blink. 

Uncle. 

_ Uncle _ .

“Uncle,” Hinata breathes out. 

“Yeah,  _ uncle _ . Jeez. I thought you found out I was related to him, and then you say he’s forcing me to be his boyfriend! Did you hit your head?”

Hinata feels a heat creep up his spine. 

Oh dear god, what the  _ hell _ did he just accuse their CEO of?

“I’m just gonna,” Hinata grins. “Go.”

Hinata bolts. 

-

-

  
  


“These pancakes are so  _ fucking  _ good,” Osamu mutters over a mouthful of food. “God.  _ God _ .”

Akaashi nods in agreement, despite the borderline-inappropriate sounds coming from his friend’s mouth. “You sure chose brunch well, ‘Samu.”

Osamu drizzles more syrup over his half-finished batch of fluffy pancakes and shovels another forkful of berries into his mouth. “Yeah. I’m still mad that Suna bailed, though. I’ll drag him out of bed one of these days.”

Akaashi bites back a snort and instead, settles to take another (neat) bite out of his own stack of waffles, carefully placing a halved strawberry at the tip of his fork. “Good luck with that, you know how he is in the morning.”

“I always forget you lived with him,” Osamu muses. Another beast-like bite gets taken and Osamu coughs when he inhales a particularly sugary section of his pancakes.

Akaashi nods; he had been Suna’s roommate for two years, after all. Before Akaashi had set up Osamu with Suna,  _ he _ had been the one to mainly deal with Suna’s bitching and moaning every morning. But now that the two lovebirds are living together, the suffering is officially in Osamu’s hands and Osamu’s hands only. 

“Is everything going okay with him? And you?”

Osamu gives Akaashi a vague nod. “Yeah. I’m just stressed these days because one of my clients is giving me a hard time with resigning a contract but Kita’s been keeping an eye out. It’s thanks to him that I remember to eat during the day, god, I owe him. And Suna’s just been the same as usual. But you know, renewal season is hard as always.”

Akaashi can’t help but to agree. “Yeah, everyone’s always running around these days. I didn’t realize so many contracts were expiring right about now, I’ve been filling out paperwork like crazy. I’m pretty sure Kuroo’s gonna walk out of this a millionaire, though, so that’s one thing.”

Osamu cackles. “Kuroo and his bonuses. Talk about luck.”

Akaashi smiles, choosing not to make a quip about how pretty much every established marketer in the Tokyo branch makes more than enough to be jealous of someone’s petty bonuses. 

“What about you, Akaashi?”

“What about me?”

“Oh, don’t play dumb. You and Bokuto, c’mon. Tell me what’s going on.”

“You know there’s nothing.”

“He calls you  _ honey,  _ for fuck’s sake. The man’s in  _ love _ , Akaashi, hurry up and make your move!”

“He has nicknames for everyone.”

“Yeah, but no one has one that compares to you. Honey. Sweetie.  _ My ‘Kaashi _ . God, remember when Kenma tried to joke around and called you that for a week straight and Bokuto refused to talk to Kenma for a month? He’s  _ defensive  _ about you!”

In all honesty, Akaashi knows that he wouldn’t have  _ absolutely _ no chance with Bokuto. 

In fact, they could probably make a relationship work for a while. 

But Akaashi knows the truth. 

He doesn’t have anything to offer. 

He doesn’t have anything to bring to the table. 

He doesn’t have Kenma’s passion for extracurriculars, doesn’t have Kuroo’s enthusiasm for life, doesn’t have Osamu’s smart wit, doesn’t have Suna’s relaxed personality, doesn’t have  _ anything _ that could be worthwhile. 

He’s a perfectionist. 

Uptight. 

It’ll create problems sooner than later. 

People like Bokuto - people who are  _ larger than life _ , people who fill up every room they step into, people who wear the stars in their eyes - they don’t  _ need _ people like Akaashi. 

People like Akaashi need people like Bokuto, though. 

But a relationship doesn’t work if it’s one-sided. And Akaashi just doesn’t have the heart to take that risk. 

Because people like Akaashi think realistically .

Love is not realistic. 

“I can hear the gears in your head spinning from where I’m sitting,” Osamu smiles and flicks the back of Akaashi’s hands. “We’ll take a walk through the park and then get to the station after eating, okay? You could use some time to cool down.”

Akaashi’s about to agree with a smile when his phone rings.

“Let me just check this,” Akaashi says. 

“Okay, I’ll just get another order of pancakes, if you don’t mind.”

“Jesus,” Akaashi mutters as he takes his phone out. 

_ Bokuto: kaashi kaashi whatre u doing right now? _

_ Akaashi: hello bokuto-san.  _

_ Akaashi: remember? i told you that i had plans with a friend today? im sorry i couldnt make it to our gym session like normal.  _

_ Bokuto: ah right i forgot >0< _

_ Bokuto: sorry for bothering you akaashi! _

_ Akaashi: don’t worry, im available to text right now :) _

_ Bokuto: i miss you kaashi! _

_ Bokuto: have fun with your friend! _

_ Akaashi: thank you, i miss you too, bokuto-san.  _

_ Bokuto: kaashi you still like me the best right :0 _

_ Akaashi: yes, i still like you the best, bokuto-san. _

_ Bokuto: ahhh i miss you akaashi TT o TT _

_ Bokuto: can we call later? _

Akaashi sighs. 

He can’t keep falling into the same cycle of allowing himself to become Bokuto’s buffer. 

They’ll never learn. 

_ Akaashi: im afraid ill be busy all day, bokuto-san. _

Bokuto just likes the message. 

-

-

“Suga, you know we need to talk, right?”

Sugawara feels his chest tighten but he gets into bed carefully, trying to make sure that he doesn’t accidentally brush up against Daichi. He’s going to crumble and start crying if he does. “I know, Daichi. I’m sorry. I’ve been meaning to start the conversation these past few days, but -”

“Shh,” Daichi gets under the covers as well, before sighing and pulling Sugawara’s body closer to his. “Don’t worry about anything, Suga. I’m not mad at you. I’m really just here to talk.”

Sugawara feels his eyes grow hot. 

“I’m sorry I hit you,” Sugawara whispers. His voice cracks in an ugly way halfway through the sentence, and he finds himself gripping the front of Daichi’s shirt with numb fists. “I shouldn’t - I didn’t mean, to, I know it was wrong, I  _ know _ that’s not what I should’ve do-”

“God, Suga,” Daichi chuckles lightly and cuts Sugawara off with a small forehead kiss. “That’s not what I wanted to talk about, I know you did that in the heat of the moment. Barely even hurt, trust me.”

Sugawara sniffles, unable to stop the steady stream of tears flooding his eyes. 

Daichi forgives too easily, he thinks. 

He  _ hit _ Daichi. 

Sugawara is in the wrong, and will continue to be in the wrong for that. 

And Daichi’s just blowing over it like always. 

“I’m more curious as to  _ why _ , Suga,” Daichi pats Sugawara’s back. “What happened that made you mad enough to do that?”

“Kids,” Sugawara chokes out.  _ “Kids _ . _ ” _

It always comes back to the idea of children.

“Is this about you and them again?” Sugawara feels Daichi’s hand hesitate to continue patting his back. “I’m sorry if I upset you when I said I couldn’t have you coddling the interns, but it’s  _ true _ , Suga. You know that. And I know you’ve been worried over these past few years about our own family, but c’mon. How many times do I have to tell you, I don’t  _ want _ children? It’s  _ okay _ that we can’t have children. It’s - it’s kind of a given when you’re gay, Suga. I don’t have the desire to somehow force you to have a kid with me if it isn’t going to happen naturally.”

Sugawara pulls away from Daichi and sits up abruptly. 

“I  _ know _ you’re okay with not having kids with me,” Sugawara’s voice is rough and crackly, like he’s been sick for a while. He slams his hand down on the mattress in frustration, unable to understand why this talk is so hard for the both of them.  _ The misunderstandings never stop _ . “I know, I know, I  _ know _ that you don’t want them!  _ That’s _ what’s driving me crazy! I don’t know where you got the idea that I’m babying the interns because I’m projecting, Daichi. I know you keep telling me that you’re okay with not having kids!”

“Then what’s the issue, Suga? Isn’t it-”

“ _ Me! _ ”

Sugawara’s scream tears across the room like a bullet. 

Absolute silence fills the air, but it’s soon accompanied by Sugawara’s sobbing. 

“ _ Me _ ,” Sugawara whispers again. He shoves his fist against his teeth as if that’ll mute his cries any better, and doesn’t move from his spot when Daichi pulls the spit-covered hand away from his mouth. “ _ I _ want kids for  _ me _ , Daichi. I  _ know _ you don’t need them. I  _ know _ that. I’m not worried about  _ me _ not being able to give  _ you _ a child, Daichi. I just - I want a  _ child _ . God.  _ Fuck _ . I’m the one who wants a kid, for fuck’s sake! I know you don’t need one, it’s  _ me _ who’s trying to - fuck!”

Sugawara’s crying starts up again and he blurrily makes out Daichi’s expression from underneath his tear-soaked lashes. 

To say he looks surprised is an understatement. 

Sugawara’s at fault for this, too. 

Over the years, Daichi had somehow came to the conclusion that Sugawara was insecure about not being able to give Daichi children, despite it breing pretty fucking obvious both biologically and common sense-wise that Sugawara didn’t have any control over that. It had been easier than to sit down and explain that Sugawara actually  _ did _ want kids, not for Daichi’s sake, but for his own, but with the adoption laws in Japan, he knew it would be close to impossible save for two scenarios. The first one would be to have a close relative somehow die tragically in an accident, leaving their baby behind. They’d probably have to fight tooth and nail to become the caregivers of the child, but it was still a way to get one. The second would be to move overseas. And given Daichi’s career, it would be next to impossible for that to happen. 

So. 

Sugawara had stuck with Daichi’s version of things, but it had blown up exponentially over the last couple of weeks. 

Now, he’s eating crow. 

“Why would you not  _ talk _ to me, Suga?”

Daichi’s voice is all too soft. 

He should be  _ furious _ right now. 

“I don’t know,” Sugawara cries into his hands. “E-easier, I guess.”

“Oh,” Daichi breathes out. Sugawara feels himself get enveloped by a pair of heavy arms, covering him in a safe embrace. “Suga. I love you. Okay? So, I’ll wait until you calm down and figure out your words to continue this talk but I need you to remember that I love you. You know that, right?”

Every time Daichi says those three words, Sugawara feels like it's the first time. He’s suddenly transported back to his senior year of high school, where a moppy-haired Daichi had awkwardly kissed his cheek, declared his love, and then ran away - 

Right into a tree. 

Sugawara had been so surprised with the kiss that he hadn’t even noticed his best friend slam right against an unsuspecting trunk, and had rushed to Daichi’s side in peals of laughter to tend to his bloody nose. 

_ I love you, too _ . 

Sugawara had whispered it into Daichi’s ears after wiping off the bloody mess that was his face, and the rest had been history. 

Now, it’s almost twelve years later and they’re both thirty. 

Sugawara cries harder. 

They could have had a toddler by now, if they were -

“I love you,” Sugawara says. It’s almost like he’s begging Daichi to believe it. 

If they were  _ normal _ . 

  
  


-

-

Ennoshita has to admit - 

This Hirugami guy is pretty nice. 

It’s already a plus that he’s got a nice face, but he’s  _ also _ got a nice personality to boot? That’s a win-win in Ennoshita’s book. 

He’s no replacement for Tanaka, but the weeks go quickly by and he falls into a rhythm. 

Go to work. 

Have a date night on Saturdays. 

Listen to Tanaka talk about his latest crush. 

Rinse. 

Repeat. 

“... and I think this time, I’m going to be more careful with it, you know? I don’t want to ruin my chances with her, and it’s for real this time! Ennoshita, you’ll help me, right?”

Ennoshita snaps out of his little daze and realizes that Tanaka’s been talking to him this whole time. 

“What? Oh, yeah, sure, I’ll help. Whatever you need, Ryuu.”

“Mhmm,” Tanaka grunts happily. “Anyways, how’s it going with you and Hirugami? He texted me a couple days ago, thanking me for setting you two up. That’s a good sign, right?”

Ennoshita takes a sip of his tea. 

It is, right?

“Yeah,” Ennoshita says lightly. He sets his mug down before he scalds his hands. “It’s a good sign.”

“I knew it,” Tanaka shrugs his shoulders smugly and Ennoshita finds it endearing how excited he is. “Enno, you gotta make me your best man at the wedding, okay?”

Nishinoya snorts all of a sudden. “Marriage, huh? Tanaka, you think big!”

“What, are you gonna try and fight me for the spot?” Tanaka shoves Nishinoya with his shoulder, and he grins sheepishly when he nearly sends the man spiralling through the air. 

“Nah, I wouldn’t fight you, Tanaka!” Nishinoya gives Ennoshita a light smirk. “So, Enno, you gotta tell me. Is he a good kisser?”

Ennoshita finds a rather high-pitched squeak slipping out of him and Tanaka gives him an awkward laugh. 

“Noya, don’t ask him that!”

“Why not, Tanaka?” Nishinoya takes another hit to the side, but this time, it’s Ennoshita’s hand. “Aren’t you curious?”

Tanaka tilts his head. “Uh, sure, I guess. Is he nice, Enno? Like, uh, compatibility-wise?”

Ennoshita can feel the sudden tension in the air, although he doesn’t know where it came from. Nishinoya’s to blame, obviously, but even Ennoshita can’t pinpoint  _ why _ it’s so weird all of a sudden.

“He’s a good kisser, if that’s what you’re looking for,” Ennoshita settles on trying to turn the situation into a joke. “You know, he gives me the whole stomach butterflies and all of that.”

“R-really?” Tanaka chuckles. “That’s good to hear.”

“I’m going to Asahi again,” Nishinoya says suddenly. “Bye, you two!”

Nishinoya scampers away before Ennoshita can drag him back to sit down and it’s just him and Tanaka in the little cubicle. 

“I should get back,” Tanaka says. “Iwa’s gonna hand me my ass.”

“Yeah, I should go back to work, too,” Ennoshita coughs. “Uh, talk to you later, Ryuu.”

“Yeah. Bye, Enno!”

  
  


-

-

Tanaka makes a beeline for the bathroom as soon as he leaves Ennoshita’s desk. He debates on whether he should either wash his face off with cool water, or lock himself in a stall to think. 

He chooses the latter.

Once the stall door closes, Tanaka leans his back against the side wall and feels his breath coming out in short pants, eyes blown wide in shock. 

Why had he never realized that before?

_ If giving you Hirugami meant you two doing things together _ , Tanaka thinks as his teeth sink into his thumb. He bites it mindlessly while thinking, even after he’s torn the side of it.  _ I wouldn’t have let you two meet in the first place _ .

A shiver trails the entirety of Tanaka’s body. 

When he asks himself  _ why _ , he’s too scared to answer. 

  
  


-

-

_ “What?” _

__ Tendou’s always screaming during work, he’ll admit that, but  _ this _ time?

He deems it necessary. 

Daichi sighs. “Tendou. Please, refrain from shouting inside. What part of what I said didn’t make sense?”

Tendou’s hands flail in the air as he points to everything in the room. “This, you, me,  _ Uhsijima! _ What do you  _ mean _ , we’re going on a business trip?”

Daichi shakes his head. “Not me, you two.”

Ushijima clears his throat. “Tendou. Don’t be unreasonable, we still work together.”

A week-long business trip with Ushijima to their Hokkaido branch. 

Which is pretty much on the other side of Japan. 

Tendou had blanked out during Daichi’s explanation - he doesn’t even know what the assignment is, just knows that he heard  _ together _ and  _ Ushijima _ and  _ trip _ and had lost it. 

“I’m busy, Daichi,” Tendou pleads. “Find someone else.”

“Nope,” Daichi smiles. He hands Tendou and Ushijima their own pamphlets. “You two have the highest success rate with getting renewed contracts, somehow, which means it’s your job to go get us some more clients. You’ll be placed in your own rooms, you’ll get a stipend, yadda yadda yadda, the important stuff is in there. Have fun!”

Tendou crumples the pamphlet underneath his hands. 

“I’m going to kill you, Daichi,” Tendou mutters on his way out. He makes sure that Ushijima leaves first before he says it. 

“I’m sure you will,” Daichi gives Tendou’s back a solid pat. “Seriously. Good luck!”

_ Strangulation.  _

__ _ Car accident.  _

__

__ _ Poison -  _

__ “Get out, Tendou.” Daichi waits by the door expectantly, and Tendou stomps his foot. 

So it’s going to be like this, huh?

  
  


-

-

“Just ask him out, dude, it’s really not as complicated as you’re making it out to be.”

Sakusa groans and resists the urge to throw his orange slice at Kenma’s head. “I don’t know why I suddenly thought you’d be able to give me advice, you’re useless.”

Kenma just smirks lazily and shoves a piece of fruit into his mouth, chewing slowly with his eyes glued to the TV. “I told you, just because I’m dating Kuroo right now doesn’t mean I know how it happened.“

“You’re right. I forgot how lame you are.”

“Bitch.”

Sakusa just flips Kenma off, not bothering to come up with a response. 

He’s currently hanging out in Kenma’s apartment, thinking that he could get some advice from Kuroo at the same time. Instead, Kenma had set up the wrong date and now the two of them are “socializing” alone, which is never a good sign. 

“I hate you,” Kenma randomly says without provocation. 

Sakusa finishes off his orange. “Hate you more.”

“My mom’s coming into town next week, by the way.”

“Really?” Sakusa gets himself another orange, making sure to wipe the skin thoroughly with a napkin even though he knows Kenma rinsed it earlier. “Tell her I said hi.”

“Yeah, she said she wants to meet with your mom if she’s not busy.”

“I haven’t been home in a while so I’m not sure what she’s up to these days,” Sakusa closes his eyes as a spray of orange juice jumps from the first tear. He should’ve worn gloves. “I’ll tell her to call your mom, though.”

“Yeah, it’d be fun for them to meet up.”

Kenma and Sakusa, the cover picture of frenemies. 

They’ve known each other since birth, basically, but Kenma’s family had moved away while they were still kids. Somehow, they ended up going to school in the same region and kept in touch for years, but their friendship (no matter how hard each of them deny it) didn’t blossom until they started working for the same company. 

“I hate you,” Sakusa says after a stretch of silence. 

“Hate you more,” Kenma says back. 

“Give me the blanket.”

Kenma chucks said blanket at Sakusa’s face.

They both erupt with laughter, the kind that leaves one silently gasping for air, sides tightening with every passing second. 

For a moment, Sakusa really does believe that everything will be fine. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sakusa and kenma are bffs idc 
> 
> n poor suga ahhhh
> 
> instagram: @kozuchaan send a dm for commissions


	9. episode nine: hotel room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sumu teru kenma kyoutani tsukki friend group ?? i think yes

Ushijima knows himself. 

He knows what he likes, and doesn’t like.

He knows what he loves, and hates. 

Except for the situation right now. 

The situation right now, is currently testing his ability to stand steadfast in his own mind, and there’s none other to blame than Tendou Satori. 

(Well, technically the blame  _ should _ fall onto Daichi since he’s the reason behind Ushijima getting partnered up with Tendou in the first place, but a man who’s currently half the country away is kind of hard to stay mad at.)

It  _ should _ make sense on paper that Ushijima is enjoying this situation more than not. After all, he’s stuck sharing a hotel room with Tendou for the next week (nevermind the fact that it’s just an adjoining room, not one for the both of them to share) but that  _ also  _ means sharing a hotel room with Tendou (the one who hates him, enough to lie about dating someone). 

So, it’s safe to say that the situation is still pretty - 

Messy.

For a lack of better wording. 

“Well, Wakatoshi-kun, we should probably get our room keys now so we can unpack before eating.”

Ushijima tightens his grip around his suitcase handle and nods. The hustle and bustle of the hotel’s lobby so early on in the morning is giving him a migraine already, which isn’t good considering the fact that they’ve got back-to-back meetings after lunch. “Yes, that would be wise. Should I head to the front desk, Tendou?”

Tendou waves his question off. “No, no, just wait here. Watch my bags for me, will you?”

Ushijima’s companion doesn’t wait for a response and flits off to the reception area, and Ushijima is left with a swirl of thoughts. 

He thinks of the manga that Oikawa had handed him a couple days ago - in it, two male office workers were forced to share a hotel room after a miscommunication while booking it took place. It led to a confession from both characters, and Ushijima had been left dumbfounded - was it that easy, to confess, if you shared a room with the person you liked? Ushijima, in the end, had been left without answers when Iwaizumi ripped the book out of his hands with an exasperated sigh and demanded that Ushijima didn’t take its contents seriously, but a part of Ushijima  _ wanted _ to. 

Ushijima wonders if it’s normal to wish for something as strange as accidentally booking only one room. He traces the slim, pale path of Tendou’s neck as he leans forward to talk to the receptionist, and has to trample the urge to yank him back. 

The lady is getting rather close, with her pretty eyes and friendly smile. 

Ushijima’s hope of finding an unexpected roommate is dashed, however, when Tendou comes back dangling two keys in front of his face with glee. 

“Here, you’re room 702, and I’m 704. Don’t lose this like last time, okay?”

Ushijima frowns. “No, I believe we had adjoining rooms?”

Tendou laughs. “Adjoining rooms? What’re you talking about, those are only for the suite floors. C’mon, we need to hurry up and settle in because we have a meeting in three hours.”

“But I do believe that Oikawa-san notified me of our connected room being -”

“You believed what that idiot had to say? Rookie mistake, Ushijima. C’mon, we’re really going to be late now.”

Ushijima nearly crushes the room’s key card in half with his hands. 

_ That damned Oikawa _ , he thinks. 

Although, Ushijima does suppose that it’s his fault for having trusted such an unreliable source. 

Maybe he should just set his room on fire, and that’ll force Tendou to offer up the extra bed in his. Ushijima ponders it. 

It’s not  _ impossible _ , really.

-

-

“Again?”

Terushima gulps. “O-oh. S-sorry, Daishou-san.”

Terushima looks down at the ground, and the puddle of (an alarmingly bright shade of) pink juice pools at their feet. He traces the path of the dripping liquid up, following Daishou’s soaked pants to his even wetter shirt. 

The expression Daishou wears is nothing short of murderous, and his fists tremble by his side. 

“Are you doing this on purpose,  _ Terushima? _ ” Daishou bites out Terushima’s name like it’s a curse, which he really does have the right to think, but it leaves Terushima’s stomach twisting. “It’s gotta be a joke at this point, right? Tell me. Who is it? Is it a bet? How many times can you drop cups on me and make me late to work? Huh?  _ Huh? _ ”

Daishou’s yell punches through the air and Terushima winces - how can he explain himself?

_ Sorry, it’s just, you’re so hot that my brain and body literally stop functioning, so I end up tripping over my own feet? And uh, sorry that you’re always in the way of that? Whoops? _

Terushima imagines how that particular conversation would go. 

He’d probably walk away with a black eye, to be honest. 

“I s-swear,” Tersuhima stutters. This is so unlike him, this whole,  _ being nervous _ thing. ”I’m sorry, it’s just that, I um, I’m kind of clumsy, and I don’t know  _ why _ it’s always you that ends up eating shit, but I’m, it’s, I’m really sorry! I can, uh, pay for all your damaged clothes if that’ll make things up! R-really, I’m not doing this on purpose, I swear, I’m -”

“You couldn’t afford to,” Daishou cuts Terushima off with a glare. “Listen. Next time you see me, even if we’re at the ends of opposite halls, just turn the other way, got it?”

Terushima doesn’t even have the time to nod before Daishou shoves past him with an angry bump to the shoulder, sending Terushima’s flimsy build flying into the wall. His shoes splash against the juice that he’s dropped earlier and his hand is starting to grow sticky from where he’s holding the broken styrofoam cup. 

He doesn’t understand what it is about Daishou that makes him feel this immature. He’s had serious crushes in the past, but nothing’s ever left him short of dizzy. 

_ It’s just because he’s hot _ , Terushima tries to justify. 

It doesn’t work. 

He’s seen the way Daishou jokes around with his friends at work. The way he never fails to come out on top of his assignments. The way he stands up for the younger and newer employees. 

They aren’t even in the same department, but Terushima knows that much. 

He’s in over his head. 

-

-

It’s a random Saturday afternoon when Atsumu cracks and decides he needs to get help. Of course, he  _ could _ just go to Osamu, considering the fact that his brother  _ has _ been in a (subjectively) successful relationship for a couple of years now, but he really doesn’t need to have the fact that he’s the single one between them rubbed into his face. 

So, he turns to his phone. 

**_no we aren’t holding tsukki hostage_ **

_ Atsumu: guys i need help :( _

_ Kenma: no stop it  _

_ Terushima: whats up !! :p _

_ Kenma: ew teru you text like a child go die _

_ Terushima: 👅☝😀😁😁😂😍😋😜😝😝😝😚😚😚😏😏😏😆😆😆😇😇😈😉😊😋😍😍😍😎😘😘😘😝😝😝😜😜😛😛😚😚😙😅💖💕💔💔💞💞💟💟💪💪💩😅😅💩💓💓💕💖💖💘💅💅💆💆💇💋💏💇💇💇💘💗💖💔💞💟💬💬😔😃😄👅👆👆☝☝☺✊✊ _

_ Terushima: better babe? _

_ Kenma: literally go run off a cliff you fucking whore  _

_ Terushima: shut up you love me! _

_ Tsukishima: I’m still voting that we change the group chat name.  _

_ Kenma: ew look at this slut using proper grammar like a slut  _

_ Terushima: wow you really woke up and chose murder huh _

_ Kenma: ur the first one on my list asshat _

_ Atsumu: guys im trying to DISCUSS MY ISSUES _

_ Kenma: yes i think you should go to therapy i can give you a referral if you want  _

_ Tsukishima: Who’s ur therapist? _

_ Tsukishima: Asking for a friend, not me.  _

_ Tsukishima: Actually, yes, I’m asking for me. You guys make me consider things I shouldn’t have to consider. Like how to kill men and get away with it.  _

_ Kenma: it was a joke u idiot _

_ Kenma: despite my mild caffeine and video game additction i’m doing very fine, thank you _

_ Tsukishima: Damn. I guess I have to keep looking.  _

_ Atsumu: literally all of you shut up before i start peeing _

_ Terushima: that was so threatening im scared to question it _

_ Terushima: what’s up? _

_ Atsumu: my plan isn’t working !! _

_ Kenma: what plan you fatass idiot bitch whore disgusting slutty gremlin _

_ Atsumu: well if you must know !! _

_ Atsumu: i thought i could make sakusa jealous but i don’t think it’s working _

_ Tsukishima: Am I going crazy or did he not reject you very publicly? _

_ Atsumu: you dirty whore we don’t talk about that _

_ Terushima: yeah we don’t talk about that! _

_ Atsumu: idk, i think he said no bc hes scared too!  _

_ Kenma: okay i regret giving you that box set of rom coms as a gift for christmas  _

_ Kenma: did it not translate that it was a joke _

_ Kenma: dude as much as i hate to say it, i don’t think sakusa is going to respond  _

_ Terushima: idk! i think that sumu is onto something, guys! hes known for being pretty shy, we never know! _

_ Atsumu: i need to up my game _

_ Tsukishima: Just get a real date, then. You’ve only been texting him about other guys, he might just be seeing through your stupid idea and realize that he doesn’t have to worry about anyone.  _

_ Atsumu: tsukki-poo that’s genius  _

_ Tsukishima: Call me that again and I’ll shove my foot so far up your ass that you’ll have your dentist pick my toenails out of your teeth the next time you go in for a check-up.  _

_ Terushima: that was _

_ Terushima: so specific??  _

_ Terushima: now im imaging that it has happened before ?? _

_ Kenma: idiot, that’s the nickname yamaguchi uses for him _

_ Terushima: well its a really fucking stupid nickname _

_ Kenma: never said it wasn’t _

_ Tsukishima: I’m leaving. Good luck you bastards.  _

_ Atsumu: no then our blond people only chat is ruined! _

_ Kenma: wait is that the only reason you introduced us to each other _

_ Atsumu: yes !! _

_ Kyoutani: jesus fucking christ of course it was _

_ Atsumu: oh look its kyou !! glad to see ur not dead :3 _

_ Kyoutani: shut the fuck up and let me despair in my own sadness _

_ Kenma: wow someone’s using big words arent we _

_ Tsukishima: God what the hell did Kuroo feed you this morning? You’re feral.  _

_ Kyoutani: dick, probably _

_ Kenma: jokes on you bc ur not wrong :) at least im getting some asswipe _

_ Atsumu: id laugh but im going through the same thing rn :( _

_ Kyoutani: i hate you all _

_ Terushima: we’re sitll on for lunch today right ?? _

_ Atsumu: obviously !! _

_ Kenma: duh _

_ Kyoutani: yea _

_ Tsukishima: fine _

_ Terushima: see ya !! _

_ Tsukishima: Wait, wait, Atsumu.  _

_ Tsukishima: By the way, I was joking earlier.  _

_ Tsukishima: Do NOT try to fix this by getting a date.  _

_ Tsukishima: I repeat - I was joking.  _

_ Tsukishima: Atsumu? _

_ Tsukishima: Assfucker.  _

Atsumu decides he’s only got one way to go from here - up. 

(And by that, it would mean he gets a fake boyfriend. And fast.)

  
  


-

-

  
  


Oikawa stands in front of his bathroom, debating two very serious points of contention. 

_ Do I take a bath, or a shower? _

Oikawa hums in all seriousness as he hesitates between his choice - a bath  _ would _ be more relaxing, but Iwaizumi’s due in about half an hour so a shower gives him more time to get ready afterwards. Plus, he’d have to wait for the tub to fill, too. 

“Okay, shower it is, I guess,” Oikawa mutters to himself as he slips off his shirt. Besides, he could probably convince Iwaizumi to take one later, despite all of his complaints about the pain of fitting two grown men into one measly little rectangle filled to its brim with water. “Now, where’s the soap/”

Oikawa continues to hum to himself as he gets his products ready, and within the next minute, he’s scrubbing himself clean with mango-scented shampoo and a body wash with the identical fragrance. 

“I was a girl in the village doing alright,” Oikawa sings to himself as he slathers on some more body wash onto a loofah. “Then I became a princess overnight!”

Oikawa moves onto his hair. “Now I gotta figure out how to do it right, so much to learn and see! Up in the castle with my new family, in a school that’s just for royalt-”

“What’s taking so long?”

“ _ AHHHHHHHHHHHH! _ ”

Oikawa lets out the loudest scream he’s ever mustered up in his whole life and all but shoots towards the floor in panic, letting out another ear-splitting howl with his knees hit the ground. 

But to his luck, the slipperiness of the tiles sends his ridiculously soapy body shooing outwards to the sink, and he slips around even more as he tries to reach his hands out to stop the movement.

“Hey, are you okay?”

A loud voice cuts through Oikawa’s inner (and outer) turmoil, sending him scrambling for the sink.  _ Maybe he can find a weapon, or something to fend off the attacker, or, or - _

__ Wait a minute. 

Oikawa screams again. 

“ _ Iwaizumi? _ ”

The shriek is so indignant that it gets nothing but a sheepish shrug for Oikawa’s boyfriend, who’s currently standing at the bathroom door with his shoulders raised up high and his hands fidgeting around. Oikawa drops his clutch on the sink and melts into a pile of goo on the still-wet floor, ignoring the fact that it’s kind of gross to be butt-naked and pressed right up against the ground he walks on to get to the toilet every day. 

“S-sorry, I kinda thought you heard me because you responded to me asking if I could come in,” Iwaizumi rubs the back of his head. “And now I see that you were just - uh, singing.”

The embarrassment of having Iwaizumi see Oikawa just - do whatever the fuck he did is almost too much to bear, and he’s glad at the droplets on his face hide the fact that his eyes are watering with tears right now. 

“C-can you get out? I’ll go to my room in a second.” 

Oikawa’s voice is quiet and he refuses to make eye contact with Iwaizumi. 

“H-hey, Oiks, c’mon, I -”

“Just, get out. I said I just need a couple of minutes.”

“Okay. Um, I’ll just wait on your bed.”

Oikawa wants to bash his head against the edge of the bathtub and just drain himself dry of blood. 

This is fucking embarassing. 

-

-

Iwaizumi knows he needs to tread carefully with Oikawa right now, but as the clock ticks by, he grows more and more unsure of what to say to him once Oikawa shows up. 

He knows the littles things tend to set off Oikawa, so if Iwaizumi ends up making him feel childish in any kind of way, their day willl be over faster than Iwaizumi would be able to get his next sentence out.

His concern is cut short, though, when Oikawa clears his throat quietly from the doorway, hands fidgeting around the belt of his bathrobe. 

“What’re you doing?” Iwaizumi pats the space beside him and waits expectantly. “C’mere, Oikawa.”

Oikawa shuffles over slowly, and Iwaizumi lays down on his side of Oikawa’s bed. There’s space between them, and Iwaizumi wants to close it so badly with a hug but he can feel the tension radiating off of Oikawa so he doesn’t, for now.

“Why’d you come today, Iwaizumi?”

“What, no more Iwa-chan?” Iwaizumi jokes, but it still kind of hurts.  _ Was what happened really that big of a deal? _

“Not now,” Oikawa glares to the side. 

“I just came to talk to you about something. I’m pretty sure you’re going to want to hear it.”

“What is it?”

Iwaizumi can’t help but smile when he sees a glimpse of curiosity bloom in Oikawa’s eyes, and he turns to the side so he can get more comfortable. 

“Oh, I don't know. I was just going to ask you how moving in together sounded?”

Oikawa freezes. 

“Wh-what?”

“Yeah. I know we’ve only been dating for a couple months now, but honestly, I’ve been in love with you for a whole fucking while and as long as you want ta talk about it, I’m game. Daichi said he’d be happy to offer any advice, so.”

Oikawa, unlike Iwaizumi, is sitting up on the bed. He draws his legs in, and Iwaizumi watches (in a very innocent way) as the bathrobe slips down a shoulder. “Wh-why?”

“Why what?”

“You just saw me sing a children’s show theme song and then wipe out on the bathroom floor, that’s so fucking stupid of me! Do you really think I’m going to believe that you aren’t teasing me right now? Because you know I’d say yes!”

Iwaizumi laughs and grabs Oikawa’s arm at last, and drags the taller man into his arms. He curses their height difference often, but at the end of the day, Oikawa’s just still a clingy baby who likes to be cuddled with. No biggie. 

“Aren’t you kind of answering yourself? I just saw you singing to Sofia the First and I  _ still _ asked you. So no, I don’t think I’m teasing you.”

Oikawa’s hair is still damp but it smells like mangoes and Iwaizumi can’t help but to press a kiss onto the crown of Oikawa’s head. And then another one. 

And then another one. 

Oikawa looks up, with his big puppy-dog eyes blinking slowly at Iwaizumi, skin still perfectly moist from his shower and cheeks tinged with a shy blush. 

“R-really, Iwa-chan? You’re going to be stuck with me, you know, and you really won’t be able to escape!”

Iwaizumi tilts Oikawa’s head up with a free hand and kisses him again, but this time, on Oikawa’s lips. 

“Yeah, I probably won’t be able to.”

“Mean, Iwa-chan!”

A laugh bursts from the depths of Iwaizumi’s chest, and it’s one that rumbles on for a while. Oikawa  _ hmphs _ to himself and buries his face into where Iwaizumi’s heart would be, but himself eventually ends up giggling. 

The sensation of Oikawa’s gentle chuckle across Iwaizumi’s own clothed skin leaves his breathless. 

He remembers all those years he had spent pining after Oikawa - they had been painful, and there had been more than one night he spent trying to drown out the feeling of a hopeless crush behind bars and strangers. 

“What would I have done if I hadn’t just grown a pair, Oikawa?” Iwaizumi hugs Oikawa impossibly close to himself. “If I hadn’t just taken a risk at the Christmas party. God. I can’t believe I missed out on you for so long.”

Oikawa wriggles upwards so he’s face to face with Iwaizumi. “Don’t dwell on that, Iwa-chan. Same goes for me, too, you know? I could’ve just confessed first.”

Oikawa closes his eyes delicately when Iwaizumi kisses the tip of his nose. “Well, I’m going to spend the rest of my life playing catch-up, Tooru. Believe it.”

Oikawa pushes their foreheads together. 

“You better, Iwa-chan.”

“Yeah.”

“Iwa?”

“Hmm?”

“How’d you know it was the Sofia the First theme song?”

“Let’s just. Not move in.”

“Iwa-chan!”

-

-

“- and basically, yeah, Tanaka, I really like him. That’s good, right?”

Tanaka snaps himself out of his daydreaming state and blinks at Ennoshita. 

_ He’s been talking about Hirugami for the last ten minutes _ , Tanaka thinks. 

And he didn’t bother listening to a second of it. 

It still feels weird, how  _ uncomfortable _ he feels, listening to Ennoshita talk about someone he just met a couple weeks ago so excitedly. He’s only ever shown this kind of enthusiasm to  _ Tanaka _ , but it was never because of  _ someone else _ .

“That’s great, Enno!” Tanaka ignores the tight feeling in his chest - he doesn’t know what to name it, and doesn’t want to. “Honestly, I’m glad you found someone so chill, you know? You only deserve the best, man!”

Ennoshita  _ blushes _ . 

Tanaka gulps. 

Huh. 

Did Ennoshita always blush that obviously?

“Yeah, thanks,” Ennoshita lets out a breathy laugh. “Uh, anyways, Tanaka, you know Eiko-chan, the one in my department?”

Tanaka nods. Of course he knows. 

She’s his current crush.

“Yeah, what about her?”

“Well, were you serious about wanting to go out with her?”

Tanaka grips his fork and stabs at his salad (according to Daichi, a diet is just as important as exercise when it comes to building the best body, but it  _ would _ be more helpful if the diet  _ tasted _ better) and gives Ennoshita a hesitant answer. “Yeah, why?”

“Oh,” Ennoshita moves around in his seat. “Well, I’ve been talking you up to her! She already thinks you’re a great guy and she’s seen your face a couple of times, so I’m pretty sure if you make a move soon, she’d say yes.”

“What?”

“O-oh, uh, I know I probably shouldn’t have done that without your permission, but it just came up, so. Sorry if you wanted me to stay quiet, though.”

“N-no. it’s not that,” Tanaka swirls his lettuce around. “Thanks. I’ll think about it.”

“Yeah, okay. Let me know if you need my help, though!”

Tanaka wonders if Ennoshita has plans with Hirugami later. 

He isn’t the slightest bit curious about Eiko-chan. 

“Enno, are you free this weekend?”

“No, sorry, I have a date -”

“Oh, that’s fine, then. Nevermind.”

“Why, what was it?”

“Uh, my sister gave me two extra movie tickets and I was wondering if you wanted to go? It’s to that latest horror movie, I know you like those.”

“U-uh, actually, that’s the movie I’m going to go see with Hirugami.”

“Cool, cool, uh, maybe next time, then.”

“Yeah! Next time.”

Tanaka wishes he had never given Hirugami’s number to Ennoshita. 

  
  


-

-

“Well,” Tendou can’t even muster up an ounce of shock. Of course this happens to him. “Here we are.”

Ushijima clears his throat. 

“Yes, here we are indeed.”

Tendou sighs as he watches a hotel worker push a cart into the room he was  _ supposed  _ to stay in. A bit of him dies inside. 

_ Apparently _ , the hotel had somehow overbooked itself due to an influx of businessmen and women looking for a hotel to stay while they worked, which meant Tendou’s room got caught up in the mix and forced him to choose between looking for another hotel or rooming with Ushijima. 

So.

“Shall we head inside?”

Ushijima swipes his key lock and Tendou sighs with his bags in hand, before stepping in. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Ushijima pauses. 

“It seems that there is only one bed, Tendou.”

“Yeah.”

Tendou’s going to have to die, that’s all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update, school kicked my ass hard this week. also, there’s a typo in here that i know i missed and it’s annoying me 😭😭
> 
> thank you sm for 4k+ hits, it's insane to me that anyone besides the person who commissioned this genuinely wants to enjoy it. 
> 
> instagram: @kozuchaan dm for commissions :)


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